Then they get the Environment Secretary to come to the Commons and say that it is absolutely vital that we do something (our future depends on it) and he’ll tell us what it is as soon as he finds out himself.

David Miliband gave what became known instantly as the Hot Air statement. I have to say that, in terms of actual production of thermal air, it was impressive. We must find a way to harness this abundant natural resource.

Britain’s politicians are tackling climate change by producing historic levels of gobbledegook and we must find a way to turn that into fuel. Our future depends on it, as do our cheap holidays in Majorca.

David Miliband says that what our future really depends on is his climate change Bill (details to come).

“Climate change is the greatest long-term threat faced by humanity,” he said. “It could cause more human and financial suffering than the two world wars and the Great Depression put together.” If that won’t get you out there buying energyefficient light bulbs, then nothing will.

Mr Miliband is almost a mythical figure in new Labour. Many see him as a future prime minister, but then they did not see him perform yesterday. Such is the hype that, in person, Mr Miliband never fails to disappoint. He may be young, bright and lanky but he also spouts total gibberish. Yesterday, for instance, he told us that forests grow on land. It was a shock to us all.

The climate-change bureaucracy is growing exponentially. In his statement yesterday, Mr Miliband told us about a new Public Private Partnership called the Energy Technologies Institute. Then there is a new joint task force on biofuels (its acronym is REEEP, which sounds suitably grim).

Plus there is another new partnership to help to fund something called the “Energy Investment Framework”. The Chancellor is going to host a conference next year to “kick off the partnership”.

But the really big news is that there is also going to be a new committee. I believe that, in the hierarchy of bureaucracy, a committee outranks partnerships and task forces. The new carbon committee sounds very important indeed. Mr Miliband emphasised that he will make sure it is independent. He added: “We will ensure that the committee’s advice is transparent, equitable and mindful of sectoral and competitiveness impacts.”

What does he mean? We better find out because our future depends on it.

Peter Ainsworth, the Shadow Environment Secretary, is best known for his Beethoven hair. Yesterday it frizzed in anger as he claimed that the Government was stealing all of the Tories’ green ideas. Mr Miliband said that the Tories were not green at all. “They are a shower no matter how many windmills they put on their roofs,” he cried, for he is very jealous of that windmill.

Chris Huhne, for the Lib Dems, then said that Labour had stolen all of his party’s green ideas. Mr Huhne then accused Mr Miliband of being an out-of-tune orchestra. He said that an in-tune orchestra would have set up a powerful committee to tackle climate change. At which point Mr Miliband looked outraged and said that Mr Huhne sounded like an old record.

“If tackling climate change could be solved by setting up a committee,” fumed Mr Miliband, “then I think successive governments would have solved this problem quite a long time ago.”

I began to wonder if Mr Miliband had just forgotten that one of his four pillars for tackling climate change was to create a new powerful committee. I do hope he remembers soon. After all, our future depends on it.

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