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Busy work schedules mean that millions of British couples are too busy to spend time together, according to a report. Many do not realise that they devote so little time to their relationship and may be jeopardising their happiness, Roger Henderson, the author of the study, said.
Dr Henderson said: “It’s absolutely vital for people to recapture the early evening and create a calm hour at home with their partner before dinner. It could be the difference between turning an existence into a life and it could even be a relationship-saver.”
Quality time in the evening is not an option for many couples now that more than 8.6 million people — nearly a third of Britain’s workforce — work longer than the traditional nine to five shift. Even those who do manage to spend an evening together do not make the most of it, Dr Henderson found, with half of working couples spending two hours each night in separate rooms.
In the first hour at home, they are more likely to be doing household chores, talking on the telephone, dealing with children or using the internet.
The study of about 1,000 people claimed that watching television “puts off intimacy”. Despite talk of a work-life balance, the report suggests that one in five couples regularly pass the working week with minimal contact.
Deniz Ince, a therapist at Reframe, a counselling centre in London, said: “The couples we see encounter problems with not spending enough time with each other, which is one of the reasons they come to us.
"Lack of time is part of modern life and couples are struggling to plan their time effectively and make time for one another. In many cases, this is masking more fundamental problems.”
The At Home Report, for the At Home Society, found that two thirds of the couples surveyed accepted that more time together in the early evening would be good for their relationship. But only a quarter got home to see their partner twice a week, choosing instead the company of colleagues and friends.
Dr Henderson said: “We are living in a world where the pace of life gets faster and faster. Many of us seem to have forgotten that the home is not simply a place to rush around and do tasks. The home should also be a nest; a place to unwind and relax.
“We can learn a lot from the way previous generations behaved, and particularly the way they used to make time to do things properly.”
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