France for grown-ups sounds jolly saucy — all ooh là là, frilly knickers and “May I help you place that ostrich feather?” Of course, such a grown-up France exists — but the vast majority of French people ignore it. They are far too grown-up for adult entertainment. Instead, they direct their holiday attentions towards luxury hotels that would be wasted on the kids; to isolated spots miles away from the nearest McDonald’s; or to activities that would test youth beyond its physical or cultural tolerance threshold. And we will follow them ...
Beaches
IT’S IMPOSSIBLE to outrun the seaside throngs entirely — but you can give it a go. A good bet is to head for the islands off the Provençal, Breton and Norman coasts. These are less mobbed than the mainland by day, and any crowds tend to depart on the last ferry. Thus you are left (relatively) alone, with the sea, the sky, the stars and your companion for company.
An alternative strategy is to use the middle of the day for cultural stuff, hinterland hikes or simple siestas, and get to the beach in late afternoon, when the families are leaving.
GO INDEPENDENT
Imagine the Riviera as it must have been before tourism rolled in: scented forest, rugged headlands and spacious beaches; no cars or apartment blocks, but enough commerce to sustain community. Now, open your eyes and head for the Ile de Porquerolles, off the Giens peninsula near Hyères. At the western tip of the island, where forest topples over rocks to the sea, the Mas du Langoustier (00 33-4 94 58 30 09, www.langoustier.com) is the isolated hotel you’ve been dreaming about. There’s a semi-private beach, tracks to hike and bike, and, above all, the feeling of being in the right place with, let’s hope, the right person. Between June and August, half-board doubles start from £140pp. Five-day breaks, April 24-June 3 and August 28-October 14, cost from £493pp, half-board. Fly to Marseilles, then it’s 1Åhr by car to La Tour-Fondue, where you catch the ferry.
If Porquerolles is a distillation of the Riviera, the Grande Ile de Chausey is Normandy in an even tighter nutshell. A granite rock apparently hurled out to sea off Granville, it is scarcely grande at all, measuring a mile by 500 yards, tops. Fifty minutes from the mainland, the island has one small stone village, a hotel-restaurant, a couple of forts to keep out the English (hah!), and La Ferme de Chausey (02 33 90 90 53, www.ileschausey.com), which now supplies gîte accommodation.
Nothing fancy: the luxuries here are peace, panoramas, quiet beaches and a general feeling that time and space belong to you. Two- and three-room duplexes from £372 per week March-June or September- November; £590 in July and August. Ferry to Cherbourg, then Åhr by car to Granville.
Known by some for anchovies, by others for fauvism, and by all as the prettiest little port on the Roussillon coast, Collioure is mainstream, mainland Med, and can get pretty packed. But down an alley in the town centre, the Hotel Casa Païral (04 68 82 05 81, www.hotel-casa-pairal.com) is a haven of classy Catalan calm — just the place to rest your head after beach, mountain or sightseeing adventures. Doubles from £62, June-September. Fly to Perpignan, then it’s a 40-minute drive.
GO PACKAGED
There is a photo of Bill Clinton in the bar of the Grand-Hotel du Cap-Ferrat at St-Jean-Cap- Ferrat. Lots of distinguished people have been there, and no wonder. This great frothy palace of a place stands imperiously on its headland, the incarnation of the Riviera’s grande époque. Reviewed and corrected for the modern age, it has lost not an ounce of panache. Walk the vast gardens, swim the infinity pool overlooking the Med, and then flit to nearby Nice or Monaco. Seven nights’ B&B, with BA flights and car hire, starts from £1,803pp in June, £1,812 in July and August, from French Expressions (020 7433 2640, www.expressionsholidays.co.uk).
But perhaps that’s all too sedentary. You’d rather see the sea on a walk. Make for the glorious Granite Coast of northern Brittany and spend a week ambling cliffs and creeks, beaches, estuaries and hamlets. Inntravel (01653 617906, www.inntravel.co.uk) has seven nights’ dinner and B&B in decent hotels and chambres d’hôtes, with baggage transfer, flights and connections, for £768pp in low season, £838 in July and August. With ferry instead, the prices are £638 and £712 respectively.
Or why not try one more island? The low-slung Ile-de-Ré, off La Rochelle, is speckled with flower-fringed villages. There are oysters, saltpans, vineyards, good beaches (especially to the northwest) — and, in St-Martin-de-Ré, the thinking sailor’s St Tropez. French Affair (020 7381 8519, www.frenchaffair.com) has a set of simple, two-bedroom wooden cottages, complete with pool, beach, boats, bikes and — here’s the grown-up bit — sauna, masseurs and beauticians. Prices from £589 per week (low season) to £969 (high), including ferry crossing.
Countryside
THE GREAT thing about tackling the French countryside without children is that you’re free from those whose attention span is computed in nanoseconds. You can afford to be boring — linger over lunch or in a village church; study standing stones or how to make aïoli — without having to worry about upsetting grumpy juvenile expectations. What’s more, you can try recapturing your youth — perhaps thrashing about on a horse or a quad bike — without real youths gurning in embarrassment.
GO INDEPENDENT
Off the beaten track we go, first to Beaujolais, the most famous unknown region in France — famous for its wines and unknown because hardly anyone goes there. North of Lyons and south of Burgundy, this is a zone of mountain roads twisting around vertical vineyards, of plump hills, nestling settlements, banquets and bonhomie. To the south there are golden-stone villages, while to the north, at Romanèche-Thorins, is Plaisirs en Beaujolais (00 33-3 85 35 22 22, www.hameauenbeaujolais.com) — the best wine visitor centre in France.
Roughly halfway between them, at Denicé, is the Domaine de Pouilly le Châtel (04 74 67 41 01, www.pouillylechatel.com), where Sylvaine and Bruno Chevalier provide contemporary chambres-d’hôtes in their rambling old wine farmstead. At £58 a double room and £18pp for dinner, you’re well placed to discover a region that leaves everyone smiling. Calais to Denicé takes 7hr. Or fly to Lyons, 45 minutes away.
The Gers, in Gascony, has a similar effect. As the land rolls this way and that towards the Pyrenean foothills, an enveloping sense of sunlit wellbeing is inescapable. This is the land of foie gras, armagnac and d’Artagnan, and of arcaded village squares where farmers and housewives rewrite country life. Near Condom, Gascony Secret (01284 827253, www.gascony-secret.com) has the two-bedroom Petite Maison, with pool, for £800 per week in July and August, £530 during the rest of the year. Calais to Gers takes 10hr. Alternatively, fly to Pau or Toulouse.
The Loire is the majestic one; whereas the Loir (without an “e”), running parallel to it to the north, is the river’s smaller and more charming brother. It flows through forests, vineyards and graceful old villages. At times, it opens out for watersports; at others, it squeezes between cliffs into which people once dug their homes. Don’t miss Trôo, which still has cave-dwellers, though today they tend to be trendy metropolitan types rather than hard-up locals.
This is old France, but sprucely dressed, and it has considerable grandeur. It is made for gentle cycling. The Vallée du Loir tourism people (00 33 2 43 39 95 00, www.vallee-du-loir.com) can sort out a week’s pedalling between farm guesthouses for £243pp (half-board), plus £35 bike hire. Calais to Vendôme takes 4hr 45min; or travel by TGV to Tours, 45min from Vendôme.
GO PACKAGED
So, what do you want from a grown-up mountain holiday? Stupendous scenery, good hiking, rafting and possibly golf, an unspoilt Alpine town, and a characterful hotel for the end of the day? Then make for Samoëns, in the Giffre Valley. Between Mont Blanc and Lake Geneva, it is the only town in France to be classed in its entirety as a historic monument.
The family-run Hotel Neige et Roc is chalet-style, but with a pool, a sauna and fitness and beauty treatments. Peak Retreats (0870 770 0408, www.peakretreats.co.uk) has a week’s half-board in June for £414pp (£526pp in August), including Channel crossing. The Calais to Samoëns drive takes 8hr 15min.
Or perhaps you’d prefer to give your brain a gentle work-out. For a week loaded with ancient history, join Andante Travels’ (01722 713800, www.andantetravels.co.uk) guided tour of megalithic Brittany. The small-group trip, departing on May 16, costs £1,150pp, including flights, transfers, accommodation, meals and a guide.
Alternatively, Martin Randall’s (020 8742 3355, www.martinrandall.com) May 29 tour will spend a week rooting deep into medieval Normandy — from Rouen to Bayeux and beyond. It costs £1,250pp, including Eurostar and connections; dinner, B&B accommodation; and lectures.
At the end of an unpromising lane in Provence, the British-owned Château de Berne opens up like a lost kingdom. The chateau has its own wine-making operation, plus an auberge just made for the contemporary squirearchy. Beyond, the rugged Haut-Var stretches softly down to the sea at Fréjus. The chateau has cookery and perfume-making classes, a gym and pool, tennis and quad bikes. A week’s basic B&B, with flights and car hire, costs from £1,040pp in June, £1,130 high season, with French Expressions (020 7433 2640, www.expressionsholidays.co.uk).
Activities
ACTIVITIES FOR adults can either be boisterously energetic or seriously cerebral — hiking, as it were, through the canyons of the mind. As you would expect from the country of Molière and Maurice Herzog, France offers ample opportunities for both.
GO INDEPENDENT
We’ll start with a great week paddling down the Célé, one of the wildest little rivers in France. On its way to join the Lot, it threads through remote countryside, castle-topped gorges and lost villages apparently unvisited for decades. Near the finish is the prehistoric painted cave at Pech Merle — astounding. The Midi-Pyrénées tourist board organises the trip from St-Cirq-Lapopie: opt for the “formule confort” for £265pp, including B&B, canoe, and baggage transfer. For details, contact Marie-Laure Brasseur on 00 33-5 34 25 05 05. Calais to St-Cirq takes 8hr 30min; or fly to Rodez or Toulouse — each is 90min away.
Now for a spin back in time. For 60 years, the defensive qualities of the Maginot Line have been belittled, but, in fact, it worked well — as far as it went. Trouble is, the Germans came around the side. The Line’s forts — immense underground settlements — are thus largely intact, and fascinating to visit. Stay at the Hotel l’Horizon, in Thionville (03 82 88 53 65, www.lhorizon.fr, doubles from £75), where the boss, Jean-Pascal Speck, is an unstoppable Maginot enthusiast. Calais to Thionville takes 4hr 10min; or fly to Strasbourg, 1hr 50min away.
Or how about a brush with painting? The recently launched, British-owned French House Party (01299 896819, www.frenchhouseparty.co.uk) offers drama, ceramics, painting and photography courses against a backdrop of convivial company, Cathar castles, Carcassonne and cassoulet. Five-day courses in the converted farmstead outside Pexiora are £290pp, or £490pp with accommodation and most meals (based on two sharing). Fly to Carcassonne or Toulouse.
GO PACKAGED
Hop onto the stalwart little Train des Pignes at Nice, and chug up into the Provençal highlands through a landscape guaranteed to lighten the soul. Hop off again in the tough mountain villages, where you’ll find hiking trails and your hotel for the night. Then continue by train to Digne. Your itinerary is flexible, but six nights’ B&B (plus some dinners), including Eurostar and TGV to Nice and the Nice-Digne return, costs £536pp from French Travel Service (0870 241 4243, www.frenchtravelservice.co.uk).
Once in Digne, why not stay put for a three-night, four-day mix of mountain adventure (quad-biking, hang-gliding, biking) and pampering at the town’s thermal spa? All this, plus half-board in a two-star hotel, costs £240pp, but must be booked separately via Digne tourism office (04 92 36 62 68, www.ot-dignelesbains.fr).
The Alsace wine route is arguably the prettiest in France. At the hinge of the Vosges Mountains and the Alsacien plain, vineyards sweep right down to the gates of small towns and half-timbered villages, each lovelier than the last. Fortified Riquewihr has barely moved on a millimetre from the Middle Ages, while Haut-Konigsberg is one of the zaniest chateaux in France. Walking the hillside trails is a delight; do it for a week with Sherpa (020 8577 2717, www.sherpa-walking-holidays.co.uk), staying in hotels of character. It costs £759pp, half-board, with flights, transfers and baggage transfer.
And finally, to horse. Deep in the Tarn Valley at Les Juliannes, European Riding Holidays (01653 617906, www.europeanridingholidays.co.uk) will mount you up for a week of all-level courses and/or hacking. Later, you can recover by the pool, go cycling, or drive off to discover Cordes-sur-Ciel and Albi. Accommodation is in a 17th-century stone farmhouse, and meals are taken together, ensuring jollity. Half-board, with flights, transfers and 10 hours on horseback is £689pp per week. The riding weight limit is 16 stone.
