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Yet, while Mr Morgan’s winning entry is cliché-ridden, it is not gobbledegook. It is a statement, comprehensible on first reading, that many outcomes are possible, excepting only stasis. Likewise, Mr Morgan’s comment about ducks, in context, is a clear and arresting metaphor. Had Mr Morgan used the hackneyed equivalent phrase about ursine toilet habits, the Plain English Campaign would have taken no notice.
Every year undeserved attention is paid to a group that might more accurately be called the Obscurantism Organisation. Its gobbledegook award is not about English usage so much as a populist suspicion of ideas. Past winners include Donald Rumsfeld, the US Defence Secretary, for a long analysis involving “known knowns”, “known unknowns”, and “unknown unknowns”. The campaigners described it as “truly baffling”, but the joke was on them. Rumsfeld’s statement was intricate but pellucid. The intricacy was intended to be funny, and succeeded.
The actor Richard Gere won for: “I know who I am. No one else knows who I am. If I was a giraffe and somebody said I was a snake, I’d think, ‘No, actually I am a giraffe’.” The idea may be peculiar, but the sentences are well constructed and the language idiomatic.
Gordon Brown, when Shadow Chancellor, won for a speech about “post-neoclassical endogenous growth theory”. This is not gobbledegook either. All disciplines have terms that are valuable shorthand for specialists. Endogenous growth theory is an important branch of economics, and if you know what “endogenous” means, you can make an informed guess about its subject matter.
Mocking convoluted English is a public service. As George Orwell wrote: “Silly words and expressions have often disappeared, not through any evolutionary process but owing to the conscious action of a minority.” The Plain English Campaign adopts the unrelated approach of intellectual snobbery; British public life has quite enough of that already.
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