Dashed tricky, since Momma is probably paying the bill (through Poppa's plastic). These are treacherous waters. But I think it should be possible to encourage the poor little bride to speak up for herself. Though, if she has not learnt by now, you may be too late.

I thought that being bossed by Mummy was far more an English than a Californian disease. But the good salesperson is warm and friendly to all, especially brides, and never indicates by even a twitch that she considers anybody's taste naff. Taste is a subjective matter. One woman's gilt-edged card is another's personalised plastic. You know that better than I. Come not between the she dragon and her browbeaten little dragoness. But encourage the girl to say what she thinks.

How should one behave when the parents of an English person gets married to an American and the parents seemed to not like the idea of their son doing so? Susan Robbie, Littleton, USA

Many (most?) parents seem not to like the partners that their children select as spouses. The English are notoriously "reserved", ie, cold, ie, secretive about emotion, ie, embarrassed by enthusiasm. Americans are wonderfully warm and open.

Of course, these are national stereotypes, and there are exceptions. But I should not assume that an Englishman's taciturnity and reserve indicate lack of enthusiasm. It is something to do with the climate.

All marriages are leaps into the dark. There are some chauvinist English who regard anything not English as second class. There are some English who dislike Americans. These are all silly and second-class English. All that you can do is be your warm self. Ignore what seems to you dislike. Wish the young well on their great leap, and support them. Your warmth may thaw out even English reserve. But there is nothing else you can do. For Heaven's sake do not get into a divisive discussion of racial or family comparisons.

Is it acceptable for a person when eating, whether he helps himself or is served, always to leave a portion of food on his plate - and again with the pudding? It is bothering me. Chris Stylianou, Lefkara, Cyprus

It is better to leave food on one's plate than to overeat and stuff oneself to discomfort or explosion. It is tidier to take (accept) only so much as you can eat with comfort. Parents used to encourage (force) their children to clear their plates, especially in the thin postwar years: "Remember the little starving children in India/Bangladesh/the Congo..." Whether the starving children would actually like English suet pudding or parsnips is the wrong riposte. So is the offer to post them the hated food.

If the children cannot finish their food, the folk cry is: "Your eyes are bigger than your stomach." I think that it is better to try to finish what you are served, in private house or restaurant. And if I can't, I make an excuse that this is not an unkind piece of culinary criticism, but that I am just not hungry/off my oats/etc. In a restaurant I ask for a doggy bag, so as not to disappoint the Jack Russells.

There are some cultures and households where it is considered good manners to leave a bit on your plate, I suppose in order to praise the lavish hospitality of your host. But in London on the whole it is polite to clean your plate. And faddy and fussy to leave food uneaten.

What should be the response to someone when they say that the reason they burp or let out wind in public is that if they keep it in they may end up at the doctor’s? Kevin King, Tacarigua, Trinidad and Tobago

It is an ancient superstition/old fogey's tale that suppressing the wind in one's body is bad for one. It may even contain a whiff of medical truth. Note the old English folk rhyme: