The fact that my private life was being splashed all over the front pages didn't do much for my state of mind, either. The split with Darren [Day] was awful. I was so humiliated. I remember going to work the morning after it had happened, thinking: "I won't tell anyone about this. I'll keep it all very quiet." Then I saw my picture across a whole row of tabloids on the table in the canteen. Pictures of Darren and Tracy [Shaw] together. "'I'm in love and I've never felt like this about a woman,' says Darren."

For about two or three years, I turned into tabloid fodder. People poking their noses into every detail of my life, from who I was supposed to be shagging to who I was supposed to be out getting drunk with. It was total embarrassment and humiliation.
I'd been betrayed. I was lost and worrying about what was happening to my career. I decided that I needed to get away, meet some different people. I probably needed to get out of London — to get as far away from this picture of myself as I could. So I went to live in New York for nine months. I got a part in Patrick Marber's play Closer, which was opening on Broadway in February 1999.

For the first time since I'd been at school, I was totally free. Nobody in New York had the faintest idea who I was. Nobody knew about Brookside. I was taken at face value, and it was wonderful. It was like having a second childhood. I got this huge apartment 22 floors above Manhattan, between 8th and 9th Street. It was so high up that when helicopters flew across the sky, I was almost at eye level with them. The view was incredible. New York at night... oh my God! Not bad for a lass from Rochdale, eh?

Every morning I'd go for breakfast in this little bagel place across the road. New York really is like you see in the films. They really do have steam coming up from the street. And yellow cabs. Everything about it made me smile. I'd go rollerblading in Central Park and these big motherf***ing guys would see me falling on my backside and come over, pick me up and show me how to do it.

When it was time to go to work, I'd literally run to the theatre, I was so excited. I'd always be the first one there — about three hours before curtain call. I'd get my hair and make-up done, then I'd just sit there in my dressing room giggling: "I'm on Broadway. Hee hee!"

I think everybody I'd ever wanted to meet turned up to see me in that dressing room. I could not believe it. You're sitting there and Paul Newman sticks his head round the door. "Honey, that was incredible." There was Glenn Close, Tom Cruise, Nicole Kidman, Steven Spielberg, Al Pacino. And Jack Nicholson. God, he was lovely. I met him at this party and he was flirting all over the place. Apparently, he said to somebody: "Who is that girl? I won't rest until I've slept with her."

I had always thought that I wasn't too impressed by fame, but this was amazing. Anyway, why shouldn't I be excited? That's the kind of person I am.

I get excited just going across Waterloo Bridge or seeing Big Ben. Excitement keeps you youthful. It makes you appreciate what life's got to offer. And how can you not get excited about meeting Jack Nicholson? Or getting a call from Madonna, asking you if you want to pop round for tea? What are you meant to say? You just go: "Yeeessss!"

New York is that kind of city. It never stops. I'd finish work about 11pm and think: "What can you do at 11pm in New York?" The answer is everything. It's all there. You can't go out on the piss every night, though, so I decided to learn to dance. I found a brilliant swing jazz dance club that started around midnight. The women dressed up in these wonderful 1930s outfits and the whole thing was run by this amazing 70-year-old guy. The first time he saw me trying to dance, he grabbed hold of me and said: "For Pete's sake, stick your ass out and relax!"

American guys are great. So forthright compared to English guys. If they're interested, they really let you know. I met this one guy and he followed me home and started saying: "You're amazing. Let's go out for dinner." And I had a bit of fling with an American actor — who shall remain nameless. I saw him on stage and he just blew me away. You know how you can sometimes fall for talent? Unfortunately he was completely mad, too. It was a great time to be single, though. Enjoying myself in this wonderful city. A great time to just think of me.

There were a lot of tears when it was time to leave, but I felt I'd learnt so much. I came away believing in myself, believing that maybe I was actually quite a good actress. I wasn't just the girl from Brookside any more. It was as if I'd finally been validated. It felt like a new me. Grown-up and sexy."

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