Fetishism is a sexual obsession with inanimate objects. The common objects that are sexually titivating, or a turn-on, are well known and include rubber, fur, silk, leather, shoes, erotic underwear and Velcro.
The list is endless because everyone’s childhood is different. It is then that the conditioning is determined. Fetishism is defined as being subject for at least six months to recurrent and intense sexual urges, whether resulting in fantasies or sexual activity, as the result of exposure to an inanimate object.
Partialism, the tendency to be turned on consistently by a particular part of someone else’s body, is similar to fetishism but even more common. Partialism seems to be your girlfriend’s idiosyncrasy.
Partialism and fetishism weren’t separated in doctors’ chat until 30 years ago. The expression foot fetishism that so clearly defines some aspect of your girlfriend’s sexual desires is, therefore, no longer strictly accurate in medical terminology.
Minor degrees of partialism are part of many, if not most, people’s sexual pattern. They may not acknowledge it but it is likely to be one of many factors that draws one person to another. Men will admit without compunction that they are attracted by women with large breasts or small breasts, large buttocks or small buttocks, long legs or short legs, or blondes, brunettes or redheads but, irrationally, would be furtive about admitting an attraction to feet.
Women are not so visually programmed sexually but they, too, have preferred physical characteristics. Some like large, chunky men and are attracted by a well-rounded bottom, whereas others, the majority, like a muscular triangular silhouette, broad shoulders and small bottom. Some, especially graduates and women from higher income groups, are turned off by the broad thickset man and prefer someone with more delicate features, who could be even be described by their rivals as skinny.
All this is so normal, and its frequency confirmed by extensive studies, that it couldn’t be described as partialism. But partialism doesn’t end with simple physical preferences. Possibly your girlfriend is obsessed, as the Chinese used to be during the imperial era, by the sexual allure in the sight, smell and touch of small feet. In Ancient China, many women’s feet were subject to extensive surgery, followed by binding, so that the by now deformed foot resembled the cultural ideal. Too often the woman could no longer walk and had to hobble or be carried.
Lesser forms of foot partialism are still common in all cultures, but in its extreme form it is still more common in the Far East than Europe. It is not only feet. Some men or women become obsessed by hands and even elbows, whereas others, including the poet Byron, were or are, fascinated by pubic hair. Many years ago an elderly squire, a patient, told me that his trouble all his long life had been that he was turned on by women’s knees. He married both his wives entirely on the merit of their knees. Both marriages proved so happy that they survived the scrapes that his partiality to knees led him into.
Don’t worry about your girlfriend’s attraction to feet so long as she continues to be interested in your personality and the rest of your physique. Minor partialism is harmless: troubles arise only when it becomes an essential part, rather than optional extra, of sex play.
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She is a rather rare bird, your girlfriend. Most women develop a full blown obsession with Manolo Blahnik or Jimmy Choo at some point in their adult life, but few get off on the sight of a knobbly, slightly hairy, poorly manicured, male foot.
Most foot fetishists are male, and why wouldn’t they be? The female foot with painted toenails arched into an elegant high heel is so much more attractive than argyle socks stuffed into brown lace-ups. It is difficult to gather definitive statistics about alternative sexual practices but those in the know believe that between one quarter and three quarters of 1 per cent of the adult population are sexually aroused by feet, and of that tiny percentage,it is estimated that at least 70 per cent sport a penis.
Though there is no shortage of famous foot lovers — Thomas Hardy, F. Scott Fitzgerald, and Fyodor Dostoevsky — no one is sure what triggers the fetish. The most popular theory is that sexual imprinting occurs when an infant is crawling around its mother’s feet and this leads to the feet becoming the primary object of sexual arousal. Evolutionary theorists suggest that human beings may be predisposed to eroticising feet because feet have apocrine sweat glands, the same type of pheromone-producing sweat glands found in the armpits and the genitals that play a role in sexual attraction.
Vilayanur S. Ramachandran, a professor of psychology at the University of California, San Diego, suggests that the feet and the genitals occupy adjacent areas of the sensory cortex in the brain and he believes that this could create some kind of neural cross-talk between the two. Another theory is that the shape of the human foot is distinctly phallic from certain angles and replicates the shape of either male genitals or the curves of the female body. Which, if any, of these theories is true is anyone’s guess, but what is clear is that the fetishist’s response to the foot is the same, or similar to, a conventional person’s arousal at seeing genitals or breasts.
Should you be disturbed by your girlfriend’s interests? I guess that depends on how she intends to manifest her fetish with you. Foot fetishists can be sexually aroused by viewing, handling, massaging, sucking, tickling, sniffing, decorating or kissing the feet and toes of another person, or by having another person do the same to their own feet. Frankly, some of that sounds quite pleasant; in fact, I am sure I have paid pedicurists to perform at least some of those tasks in the past. Some foot fetishists just want to touch or to be touched by feet; others like being used as a foot-rest. Some prefer bare feet, others prefer feet dressed in shoes, socks or hosiery. Some like to concentrate on watching or photographing feet that are arched, others like to look at relaxed feet. Some like to be “trampled” or walked on, others like to have their genitals manipulated with a toe or a foot.
Though a fetish of any kind is an acquired taste, being turned on by feet seems nursery-level threatening to me. The unknown is always slightly intimidating and I can understand your apprehension at discovering this new and possibly unsettling aspect of your girlfriend’s character. But as long as she doesn’t lose interest in you as a “whole” person and her fetish doesn’t become the overwhelming driving force in your sexual relationship, I can’t see the harm in indulging her. You never know, you might might enjoy the experience.
OVER TO YOU
Do you have a sexual dilemma for Suzi Godson and Dr Thomas Stuttaford? Send your e-mails to body&soul@thetimes.co.uk or write to Body&Soul, The Times, 1 Pennington Street, London E98 1TT. The authors regret that, although your letters are much appreciated, they cannot respond personally.
