The Big Apple

No dumb Cowboy Colonels in these memoirs

A tradition of condescension towards America has blinded many Britons to the intellectual quality of the US military

Q: When is a Royal Ascot hat not a hat?

A: When it's a fascinating fascinator

Boyhood tastes with an adult flavour

The greatest sophistication lies in taking a simple sensation and raising it to a higher level

Magna Carta - it's all arrant nonsense

There are a number of important authors who have renounced the barons and all their works

What Gordon and I have in common...

Our survival depends on keeping key media constituencies happy - and that's no easy task

Muskets crack, pikes clash and I'm in Heaven

Bearded royalist musketeers berated the Gove family for their rebel sympathies while lobster-helmeted New Model Army troopers saluted us

I'd love to read The Gruffalo for the 777th time but, alas, duty calls

It's not a clincher when you say you can't do the bath because you have to take a call from Radio Rockall, on whose drive-time...

Sex and the City, an episode in emptiness

In the colour debate I'm neutral. Beige, to be precise

The greatest of all drinks, made from angels' tears and tasting of peat, the Islay malt, is a pure, clear beige

Take our quiz to find out whether your partner is Just Tory Enough

Is his favourite film a) The Dam Busters; b) Elizabeth; or c) any film in which British imperialists get it in the eye?

Anti-Semitism finds new allies

Hatred of the Jewish people, which united the likes of Klaus Barbie and Tariq Aziz, hasn't been contained

Paradise is Hell

The problem with the sort of luxurious inactivity that island holidays promote is that it doesn't refresh. It exhausts

Don't let's be beastly to the Germans: I'm one of them myself

Just as we have an inner age, we have an inner nationality. Whatever it says on our passport, most of us may find that we are spiritually...

Et in Orcadia ego: confessions of a D & D addict

Pretending to be an elf for an afternoon is ludicrous. But for a few spotty years I was that geek

Will my verbal seedlings take root and flourish?

Chipping Norton is the fear that hits you, on your way to the airport, that you left the cooker on

Trafalgar Square plinth should be the public's decision

Ground Control to Mayor Ken: it's an empty space oddity

How do I know that aliens are among us? Well, they’re everywhere you look. Their numbers proliferate daily