WHO WOULD BE A bishop in the Church of England? In parish after parish congregations are dwindling. The Anglican community in Britain and across the world teeters on the brink of schism over the issue of gay clergy — just the latest in a long line of crises. And now, with bishops gathered at the General Synod in London, there is talk of turfing them out of their palaces and slashing their incomes to that of humble parish priests.

Alarmed at the spiralling cost of maintaining historic buildings and sensitive to the popular perception of bishops living in luxury, a report by the Church Commissioners has suggested that some of the “see houses” be sold off. The likes of the Bishop of Durham, who lives in the 90-room Auckland Castle, and the Bishop of Carlisle, who lodges in a fortified manor, would move to more modest accommodation under the proposal, which is being reviewed over the next few months. A separate report, by the Church’s spending review group, has put a question mark over bishops’ incomes and been the talk of the Synod. This proposes that parishes, rather than the Church Commissioners, pay for bishops.

Of more pressing concern, however, is a private member’s motion expected to be debated at the synod which will call for bishops to give up nearly half their annual stipend. Bishops currently receive a less than princely income of £33,000 a year. The Archbishop of Canterbury is paid £60,820. Under the proposed plan new bishops would receive the same stipend as a vicar, just £17,940 a year.

Of course bishops, like vicars, are also provided with homes and other benefits that make the package worth more than that. Nevertheless, their incomes are minute when compared with those of executives in the private sector and the salaries of senior management in the public sector. Those backing the cut argue that while bishops are responsible for hundreds of staff and work the long, pressured hours of chief executives, the whole point is that they are not like employees in the commercial sector.

The Rev Chris Lilley, a vicar in the Lincoln diocese, says the stipend is there simply to allow clergy to answer their calling and there should not be a pay hierarchy. “The theological argument for differentials is very weak,” he says. “I think people have been too focused on what the rest of the world does and commerical comparisons.” Lilley calculates that the full package for a vicar is worth £32,250 a year, so “the majority of clergy earn more than the majority of their parishioners”.

Even so, he admits that “it’s not easy” to live on that and “most clergy wives and husbands these days also work, like in any other family”. Bishops are expected to be resistant to any change and Lilley believes a workable system might be to allow sitting bishops to keep their current stipends and introduce the reduced pay only for new appointments.

It is not easy to find a bishop who will publicly argue for keeping the staus quo. But those who work with them point out that they do not live extravagantly. “The money we pay to all clergy is not a lot at all,” says Gavin Drake, director of communications for the diocese of Lichfield. The Bishop of Lichfield lives in a flat on just one floor of a four-storey building which also contains his offices and official reception rooms. “It’s not grand,” says Drake. “People talk about bishops’ housing being very lavish but even when they live in a house, as opposed to a palace, they very rarely have the whole house.” So, how difficult would it be to live like a bishop? Or, rather, to live like a bishop who is living like a vicar? I set out to try it for a week.

DAY 1

TIME for some maths. I ring Jeff Cloke, from the City accountancy firm Cloke & Co, who calculates that on the proposed new stipend of £17,940 a bishop would pay £2,696.30 in income tax and £1,466.52 in national insurance, putting take-home pay at £13,777.18 — or £265 a week.

Bishops have their council tax and water rates paid and a proportion of their gas and electricty bills if they have an office in their home. I calculate that I should pay 80 per cent of these bills. I estimate that a bishop would probably only make £10 worth of personal calls a month.These three bills eat up a further £536.05. A TV licence is £116. The cable bill, including crucial sports channels is . . . on second thoughts as a bishop I could probably do without those.

A bishop’s car and driver are paid for by the Church Commissioners, but he pays a contribution for private trips. I vow to keep these to a minimum. Even bishops living like vicars have to have holidays. After surveying a couple of websites I calculate that if I am really careful £1,000 would cover a week in a cottage in Suffolk in June and a week in Cornwall in September. Beyond that the family would have to rely on the hospitality of friends with homes in nice places for the odd weekend (£200 for travel costs).

A bishop has his pension, but as for other investments and savings plans I decide to see if there is anything left at the end of the week.

Oh, yes, bishops have to read The Times every day. With a Sunday newspaper as well that’s £249.10 a year. Deduct all these expenditures from the take home pay and suddenly it has shrunk to £11,676.03. That’s £224.53 a week.