Without Puff Daddy, Elizabeth Hurley and George Michael in the front row (even Donatella kept a low profile), there was nothing for it but to concentrate on the dresses — which were quite spectacular, as it happens.

Silver beads, metallic or embroidered leather and suede ribbons gripped those plastic bodies in a sexually charged vice: they would be brilliant for the Oscars, but in the present economic climate, nominees shouldn’t count on getting many Versace freebies.

Luxury goods analysts estimate that the average Versace show costs £3.25 million and generates about £6 million-worth of publicity. The trouble with static shows is that, however well they’re executed, they just don’t have the same impact. No real-life models, no pictures.

Meanwhile, back in Never Never Land — ie, that planet inhabited by Dior, owned by Moët Hennessy and Louis Vuitton — it doesn’t matter how many chiffon saris you do or don’t sell because the world will never stop buying beer and champagne. So no expense was spared on this show.

Elizabeth Hurley sat in the front row, a newcomer to Dior. On the catwalk Chinese acrobats somersaulted, unicycled and did worrying things with chains, and the models, bless them, navigated John Galliano’s extraordinary dresses.

This collection was a return to volume and Ming dynasty style, two themes first explored four months ago in his ready-to-wear collection for his own label.

It was also a return to form. Since discovering these extreme new proportions, Galliano is like a child with a new toy, his imagination at full stretch. The models, with their exquisite painted faces, turquoise, white or pink, towered above the audience in 10in embroidered sandals. It didn’t matter that nothing in the collection resembled clothes in the conventional sense. Crinolines, ruffles, kimonos, Belle Epoque evening gowns, or something like them, could be glimpsed topped with giant corsages of flowers.

Their size was so exaggerated as to be surreal. But they will all be adapted in the fitting room.

This was a designer at the top of his game, working with dazzling colours like pale pink, lime and mauve; quite possibly couture’s last emperor.

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