Listen to our audio slideshow

If chaffinches were rare they would be prized above Siberian Ruby-throats and Red-flagged Blue tails. The cock chaffinch in spring is as stunning a little bird as any in the world and you can see him anytime you want to. They are common birds, but their commonness is a tribute to its ability of fitting in to a lot of circumstances. It should be prized for its commonness.

The cock is outrageous, admire him. A cap of more or less Wedgwood blue, conker-brown back and a breast of the tartiest pink any designer could come up with. The male spring bird is the sexiest on two legs and he's not bashful about it either.

In winter the males have the same colour scheme but in much better taste. Muted, subtle, colour co-ordinated. A bird you could introduce anywhere.

The young and the females are much quieter. Roughly speaking, a monochrome version of the for God sake look at me male.

The CD of A Bad Birdwatcher's Companion by Simon Barnes is available at a special Times Online discounted rate from Naxos AudioBooks. The slideshows to accompany extracts from the audiobook's first five chapters have been created by Times Online with pictures supplied by the RSPB.

Explore Books

• Book Extracts

• Book Reviews

• Books Group

Times Recommends

• The Gone-Away World by Nick Harkaway
• Burning is too good for them
• Strange Fruit: Why Both Sides Are Wrong in the Race Debate by Kenan Malik