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Stories and Songs on today's free French CD, with The Times
Last night at the Odeon West End in London’s Leicester Square, The Times hosted The Perfect Screenplay – a live discussion about creating the ultimate script for the big screen.
Our audience saw talented writers present their screenplay ideas to a panel of experts, including John Madden the director of Shakespeare in Love, Tessa Ross the head of film and drama at Channel Four and The Times Chief Film Critic, James Christopher.
After the pitches, the audience voted for their favourite - sending our winner Lesley Bootiman to the Cannes Film Festival.
Watch Lesley's pitch for her film Not Nearly Dead Yet
Watch runner-up Mark Forsyth pitch for his film Growing Up
Watch runner-up Lance Stanbury's pitch for his film The Sword and the Bow
Sex, drugs, gambling – enough to save the old folks home?
NOT NEARLY DEAD YET by Lesley Bootiman
Over the hill, way past their sell-by seven crumblies go for broke. At stake, the care home where they still live a little They have just two months to raise the money to keep it open or be shunted off to a place where they’ll be nice and safe and treated like other old people.
They need £250,000 - so forget whist drives and cake stalls. It has to be really dodgy scams to raise the stake for a betting coup on an unraced horse.
Title Sequence
Inter-cutting between powerful horses at full gallop and seven pairs of elderly feet following Keep Fit instructions.
Sound track - pounding hooves and ‘If You’re Happy and You Know it Stamp Your Feet.’ Closes on seven pairs of hands giving the V sign.
Major highlights include
High stakes poker – clergy style.
How to outsmart drug dealers (and police).
Setting up a telephone sexline the old fashioned way.
And a race course climax where the zimmers are at least as important as the horses.
It’s the Magnificent Seven flying over the Cuckoo’s Nest; the Lavender Hill Mob let loose at St Trinians … and all because they’re NOT NEARLY DEAD YET!
How the new breed of location based mobile services can find your nearest cashpoint, restaurant or wi-fi hotspot
Enjoy screenings of all the classic films you love, plus take advantage of two-for-one tickets
We explore leisure activities that are safe and suitable for all of the family
Times Online's new TV show helps you make the right decisions for your pet
Are you California dreaming? Explore the wonders of the Golden State. Also enter our fantastic competition
See the best entries in this year's competition
Your brain is capable of more than you might think...
An interactive preview of the brand new For Your Eyes Only exhibition
The latest travel news plus the best hotels and gadgets for business travellers

Love Sudoku? Play our brand new interactive game: with added functionality and daily prizes

Are you irritable when you return from work? Drained of emotion? You could be suffering from boreout
Prepare for some shock and awe, petrol lovers. Despite the greens trying to wipe it out, the car is about to offer us the most exciting year ever
We've trawled the brochures and websites to find this summer’s best holidays for every taste and budget



2006
£189,500
NW England
2008/08
£169,950
NW England
2007/57
£35,000
South East England
Great car insurance deals online
Circa £82,000 per annum
Birmingham Women's Hospital
Birmingham
To £28k
Barclaycard
Northampton/Liverpool/Teeside
£
Up to £66,000 per annum
Hertfordshire County Council
South East
To £38k
Barclaycard
Northampton/Liverpool
2 Bathrooms, Balcony and Garden
Beautiful Gardens w/ stunning Thames Views
Dining, Shopping & Riverside Pk
Mortgages, bank acc & money transfers to help you buy abroad
Explore mystical Jordan
From £1030 for 7nts 4*
to USA's Most Cosmopolitan City; San Francisco!
£POA
Book Now for Winter 08/09 and Get 10% off!
Great travel insurance deals online
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Shucks if I knew that the genre for this competition I wouldn't have sent in my Indian Mythology remake treatment. Alas theres always next time I suppose.
Well I hope Lesley does well with her script, its fairly nice pitch but not high on originality but hey thats my take on it!
dilip mistry, Leics, UK
It sounds like a cross between the Calender Girls and the Full Monty.
John, York, UK