Kevin Maher
Take a trip to New York and see the city from the air

So Paris Hilton has made a movie. A real one, with actors and everything. It’s called The Hottie and the Nottie, and it’s a comedy about a dweebie male who’s torn between the ravishing external beauty of the sizzling LA singleton Hilton (the “Hottie” of the title) and the kooky internal charm of her best friend (Christine Lakin, the “Nottie”).
The film, as you might have guessed, isn’t very good. It’s poorly written, lazily directed and only vaguely amusing. However, Hilton acquits herself amiably, with a heavy hint of self-deprecation. She does a good slow-mo sex icon and a fine spoilt party-going harridan. And, in one scene, sitting on a picnic blanket with her voice dropping to a whisper and her face stretched in an unselfconscious, half-lidded grin, she is positively luminescent.
But she is Paris Hilton, and so we must hate her. “She makes Bo Derek look like Meryl Streep,” hissed the New York Post’s review, adding: “Possibly cue cards were involved, although that would presume she can read.” The industry bible Variety announced that she’s “laughable, preening in frequent ‘Look-I’m-sexy!’ sequences”, while The Hollywood Reporter could only sneer: “She performs the ‘downward dog’ yoga position with particular skill.”
What these reviews have in common, first, is that they were all written by men of a certain age, men who seemingly respond to Hilton’s self-assured allure with a mixture of nervous aggression and leering derision. Secondly, their unthinking dismissal of Hilton as a screen talent is part of a wider preoccupation with Paris-bashing (incidentally, Hilton’s turn is better than anything that Scarlett Johansson has done in her past nine movies, or Kate Hudson’s past seven, or any role from Jessica Alba or Lindsay Lohan).
Hating Hilton, according to a recent article in the Chicago Sun-Times, “is a sign of lingering cultural sanity” (the same piece also referred to Hilton as “America’s Slut in Chief”). Similarly, a recent Newsweek profile of Hilton screamed “Could Anyone Be This Stupid?” And, while Guinness World Records has her as the World’s Most Overrated Celebrity, even the Los Angeles County sheriff who released Hilton early from her jail term last summer did so, he said, because her name and fame had incurred excessive punishment. The justice system itself, it seemed, had hated Hilton.
Yet when you hate Hilton, what exactly are you hating? A New York heiress educated in exclusive schools and raised to become a part-time model and full-time celebutante who earns more than £3.5 million a year (according to Forbes magazine) from product endorsement, public appearances, TV shows and sporadic pop tunes? Not to mention residual fees from a publicly available sex tape, released by her former boyfriend Rick Salomon, called One Night in Paris?
Then you’re wrong. The Paris Hilton that you hate is not a flesh-and-blood person. She is a self-created concept, an icon and a signifier for our times.
“I think every decade has an iconic blonde, like Marilyn Monroe or Princess Diana, and right now I’m that icon,” she said more than a year ago in these very pages. The comparisons were telling, and accurate, for she has undoubtedly become our Diana – one of the most hunted, most Googled, desired and objectified commodities on the planet. But crucially, unlike the Princess she has done it all herself. Like some MySpace savant she is fully in charge of her own exploitation. She is a YouTube princess for a generation raised onPop Idolspin-offs and the transformative powers of an omnipotent celebocracy.
Most importantly, Hilton is a postfeminist trailblazer. She wields her sexuality with pinpoint precision, just as she wears her cover-girl status with delicate irony. It’s always there, right in the centre of the semi-clad photo op – that smirk, that half-wink that says: “I know exactly what I’m doing, and you suckers are paying for it.”
Thus Paris-bashing is based on a certain sense of conservative powerlessness among the bashers. These reactionaries yearn for the old icons, the nonironic sexbombs and the unempowered sluts. They can’t see that Hilton is in a grand tradition of beguiling cultural potentates and fearless mould-breakers that includes silent stars such as Theda Bara and Louise Brooks and classical standards such as Barbara Stanwyck, Catherine Deneuve and Elizabeth Taylor. Hilton is reinventing the rules on the run, and she promises to endure for some time to come. And if you don’t like it, well, hey, there’s a new Scarlett Johansson movie due any day now.
The Hottie and the Nottie is released on March 28
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Watched a couple of minutes of the Hilton movie trailer and clips on the internet. She has screen presence. From the little I saw of this film thought she might do well wih serious scripts and good direction.
MARK KLEIN, M.D., Oakland, CALIFORNIA
Well said, Mr Maher. I couldn't agree more.
Sam French, London, UK
Celeb crazy Britain? She's American made! As is Hudson, Johannson, Alba and Lohan!
Charlotte, Portsmouth, UK
"She does a good slow-mo sex icon and a fine spoilt party-going harridan"
I'm sorry, it doesn't count as acting if you're just playing yourself.
Vince, CO , USA
Ok I'm convinced. Sign me up for the Save Paris Fund.
JimmyZ, Clapham, UK
Only in celeb crazy Britian ! Here in the U.S. this girl is considered a joke !
Jay, Dixie, U.S , S.C.
On a scale of 1 to 10, I'd give her one...
Nick, London, UK
Trying to decide if she's the most offensive actress I've ever seen....it's tough, a tie between her and Hurley and Knightley.
Strangely, Paris is the least annoying of the three, though.
dan, london,
Paris Hilton has to be great.She's been portraying a human quite successfully for years.I'm quite sure it's all an act.
ron, toronto,
Oh dear, lack of intelligence seems to blossom with the impending springtime. Most of these comments serve only to reinforce what has been said by Kevin Maher. Wake up ladies and gentlemen, your bile is showing!
Marc, Paris, France
What she is is the current Lady Docker/Viv Nicholson - someone with more money that sense whose only feature of note is the ability to spend frivolously.
david, Ely,
Much of the criticism of Paris just doesn't hold water. Even if one were to accept that she was unengaging and untalented, surely that doesn't justify the comments highlighted in Kevin's piece above.
She is often dismissed as merely trying to get attention. If this is her aim then I defy any of her critics to name a more successful or capable marketer anywhere.
Mark, Canberra , Australia
Paris Hilton she can act as well as any other B-movie starlets out there........................................don't forget the true benchmark for non-acting ability is Madonna, followed closely by Bo Derek.
Sedgwick Morrison, London, UK
This article is a celebrity crush gone so far overboard it's barely recognizable. You're giving the girl way too much credit. It's easy to apply desirable traits to sex objects, but she's just not. Not smart, not a talented actress, not duping us into giving her loads of money. She's a silver spooner doing the only thing she's ever learned: smirk, pose, repeat.
Sarah, LA, USA
With expert editting you can make anyone appear to be a decent actor/actress.
Publicity is what it's all about not acting ability.
If movie moguls could have signed Dr. Shipman to star in a remake of 'The Lady Killers' they would have.
GJB, Slough, Berkshire
Finally an article that says this - not because she is so amazing but just because she's so bad that she deserves constant bashing.
V.P., london,
I am very concerned with the term 'postfeminism'. What gives anyone the idea that it's all over?
What does it mean anyway? That the sisterhood has ended or that we've reached our goal? Great advancements have, of course, been made but to suggest that equality between the sexes has been TRULY reached, that misogyny has been swept away by a torrent of cross-gender understanding and that women have been embraced into all areas of public and private life, is quite simply laughable.
I like Paris Hilton, I think she has the guts and gumption to get the most out of life, play the world for what she can get and I admire her for that, but I do object to the suggestion that stripping off and playing the raunchy role of âAmericaâs Slut in Chief" is an indication of liberation. After all, isn't she just presenting herself the way men want? She may be profiting, but nothing has changed.
Ella, London,
You've gone overboard on the other side. No doubt Ms. Hilton has been excessively vilified. But to call her tabloid-headline life a cleverly orchestrated performance? "Postfeminist Trailblazer"? Really.
Sandeep, Chennai, India
Your right!!! Great pic
Carol, Phoenix,
Brilliant! How did I not see this myself. Suddenly, I see her in a whole new way.
J. Love, Atascadero, CA, USA
Someone is prepared to defend Paris Hilton's excerable acting; as a film critic you must only be doing this out of boredom. Have you seen her other films? Even in 1 night in Paris she is unconvincing.
Also why denigrate other actresses in speaking up for Paris Hilton? Scarlett Johannson is a much better actress, even if she has made some stinkers lately. Can you see Paris Hilton playing the girl in a pearl earring?
Robert Elms, Somerset, UK