No other franchise has inspired as much internet-based worship, debate and frenzied nit-picking as Star Wars. Driven to delirium by the lengthy gaps between the films, the likes of ForceWielder5 and DarthShadowspawn debate such pressing issues as “Why stormtroopers are NOT clone troopers” and “Do you wish Tarkin had a larger presence?” until their mouse fingers bleed.

Sites including www.theforce.net, www.supershadows.com and www.quigon.org are going into meltdown as George Lucas puts the finishing touches to what he promises will be the last Star Wars film. More than 16 million messages had been posted on www.theforce.net’s forums alone at the time of going to press, with thousands more being added every day. Below are some of the topics getting the geeks hot under the collar.

Having asked Lucas not to be be killed off “like some sucka”, Samuel L. Jackson has confirmed that his character, Mace Windu, will be granted a demise befitting his standing as Yoda’s number 2. “It’s rousing,” Jackson confirms. “It’s a great lightsaber battle with 102 moves in three big rooms.”

Still on the subject of deceased Jedi, much ether- bound discussion surrounds the fate of Obi-Wan’s master, Qui-Gon Jinn. The character, played by Liam Neeson, was fatally skewered by Darth Maul in The Phantom Menace, but sharp-eared fans heard his voice shouting “Anakin, no!” when Skywalker massacred a tribe of sandpeople in Attack of the Clones. That ignited speculation that Jinn would return in ghostly form in Episode III, just as Alec Guinness did in The Empire Strikes Back.

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Gary Oldman, other gossip reveals, had agreed to be the voice of General Grievous, but pulled out because the film was using actors who were not part of the Screen Actors Guild, of which he is a member.

The identity of the mysterious Syfo-Dyas has been occupying unhealthy amounts of the net nerds’ time, too. Bear with us on this one, because it’s complicated. Syfo-Dyas was the name given by the person who ordered the original shipment of clone warriors in Episode II. It is also the name of a Jedi knight who died ten years earlier. But did he survive or did someone else assume his name? If so, who? Suggested culprits include Palpatine, Dooku, Darth Maul and even Qui-Gon. Our money’s on Lord Lucan.

Rumours have also been flying about Lucas’s decision to shoot a short scene for Episode III in the Tunisian desert during the production of Episode II, to avoid having to fly back to the location three years later. The most popular theory is that it was the so-called “Harry Potter” scene, in which Obi-Wan Kenobi delivers the infant Luke Skywalker to his aunt and uncle on Tatooine.

Finally comes the fabulous news that Hasbro, to mark Darth Vader’s return to the screen, has produced a new version of the Mr Potato Head toy. Its name? Darth Tater.

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