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Bjork is at it again. Having attacked a reporter with surprising vigour at Bangkok airport in 1996, the Icelandic star apparently launched herself at a photographer at Auckland airport on the weekend.
In the incident on Sunday, she eschewed the hair-pulling modus operandi of 1996 in favour of a shirt-ripping manoeuvre. The New Zealand snapper was left with a backless top, quite unsuitable for his bodyshape and gender.
The photographer’s part in all this? He dared to take three or four frames of the singer as she arrived in the city to play at the Big Day Out festival. If that seems a trifle of a reason, spare a thought for the reporter involved in the 1996 incident. She merely uttered “Welcome to Bangkok.”
But Bjork is not the only celebrity to express her disapproval of the paparazzi so robustly. Musicians and film stars have taken pleasure in punching, kicking, and even spitting at photographers for many years.
Here, we whittle down the plethora of star temper tantrums to bring you the top ten celebrity versus paparazzi scuffles.
10 Lily Allen
She is a woman accomplished at attacking verbally, but insults such as those tossed at Girl’s Aloud singer Cheryl Cole (“stupid bitch”) and Pete Doherty (he needs to be “exterminated”) are, apparently, reserved for fellow musicians. When it comes to the paparazzi, Lily Allen apparently favours a more physical remedy. The pop singer was arrested and cautioned last year after punching a photographer outside a nightclub in Soho on March 13. If nothing else, the incident proved she had tenacity. At 5ft 2in she would have been in trouble if the 40-something male photographer decided to fight back.
9 Avril Lavigne
When it comes to weapons, Avril Lavigne prefers to manufacture her own. Perhaps taking her inspiration from that most ill-mannered of creatures, the llama, the singer has been known to hurl spit balls at photographers when she tires of their presence.
8 Jude Law
Jude Law was once quoted as saying that the best course of action when faced with invasive paparazzi was to “throw root vegetables at them.” But last September a photographer claimed Law did more than throw veg at him after encountering him at a bus stop near his London home. Police arrested the actor, but he denied the paparazzo’s allegations and the charges were dropped.
7 Pierce Brosnan
Life for Pierce Brosnan is infinitely more prosaic than that lived onscreen by his erstwhile alter ego James Bond. While Bond repeatedly got away with murder, Bronson faces a round of legal meetings after an American paparazzo claimed the star attacked him in a Malibu carpark in October last year. Los Angeles police declined to charge Bronsnan but an unsatisfied Robert Rosen is now suing for assault, battery and negligence.
6 Hugh Grant
As far as props go, he couldn’t have picked a more humorous one. When Hugh Grant tired of a tabloid photographer last spring, he resorted to using a tub of baked beans as a weapon. Or at least that’s what Ian Whittaker told police after he filed a complaint against the actor in April, 2007. The stunned paparazzi said he was left battered, bruised, and covered in baked beans. Grant was arrested but never charged.
5 Britney Spears
2007 was the year of umbrellas. Rihanna went to number one with a song about one and Britney Spears employed an aquamarine number with a fetching wooden handle to beat a Ford Explorer into submission.
Shortly after shaving off her hair last year, walking tragedy Spears picked up a brolly and emptied a considerable amount of aggression onto a photographer’s car. The SUV survived the assault. Spears’s reputation did not.
Her explanation a few months later did little to redeem her. The pop singer blamed her behaviour on method acting. She was getting ready for an audition, she explained. Of course.
4 Alec Baldwin
When Alec Baldwin and his then wife Kim Basinger were met by a photographer as they brought their newborn baby daughter home from hospital, Baldwin got into a scuffle with the snapper. He was arrested and charged but acquitted of misdemeanor battery in March 1996.
3 Chris Martin
His music is so serene, but Chris Martin apparently was not during a trip to Australia in 2003. A photographer went to the police after the Coldplay frontman allegedly channelled his anger into a series of boyhood pranks. Paparazzo Jon Lister said he had been photographing Martin from his car, but took a brief break. When he returned he found Martin smashing his car’s windscreen and letting down the tyres. Martin was arrested and charged with wilful damage but the case was later dropped.
2 Tommy Lee
Usually the picture of class, Motley Crue drummer Tommy Lee lost his head after a night at the infamous Viper Room with his then wife Pamela Anderson in 1996. After a photographer tried to snap the pair leaving the LA club, Lee attacked paparazzo Henry Trappler. While Anderson was on his side that night, Lee eventually ended up facing both her and Trappler in court, after she also accused him of assault. He pleaded no contest in both cases.
1 Sean Penn
Forget tubs of baked beans, spit balls and umbrella attacks, all pale in comparison when compared to what Sean Penn did to a paparazzo in 1986. The actor was shooting Shanghai Surprise in China when he discovered a paparazzo in his hotel room. He exacted revenge by hanging the photographer by his ankles from a ninth-floor balcony. Arrested and charged with attempted murder, Penn broke out of prison and escaped the country by jetfoil. He was later pardoned. Yes, really.
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LOVE It! Grant should have thrown a great bloody ham and loaf along with the beans.
Am I guilty of being a celebrity culture-vulture? Yes, insofar as I buy tickets to see their films and fondly, rather stupidly think of them as close second cousins of sorts. Do I buy those celeb-trashing, stalking magazoids in the checkout? Once, a long time ago, I bought a MOST BEAUTIFUL person version of People. I now repent.
These antics are wonderfully entertaining, but I'm sure they barely scratch the surface of what they have to put up with on a daily basis; Diana is a good example of the ultimate train wreck of celebrity culture. Personally, I think a bodyguard would be better--one karate chop and down they go. (Yeehaa!) Or perhaps a cook equipped with ham, baked beans, meat loaves, potatoes, green peas, a whole cub-board of provisions would be unique. I like the idea of a moving feast as an assault artillary. And green peas and mashed potatoes sound better in a warrant than baked beans.
Elan Durham, Santa Monica, CA/US