I am a German family lawyer and had recently the opportunity to learn about the difference between our legal systems. We were all very surprised that it is in England really a question of money to get your right.
In Germany lawyers determine their fees after the amount in dispute. Because of this the clients know very well what they have to pay and it doesn't matter how long we have to work for the case. Naturally it is in our own interest to get things done quickly. If the client's financial situation is very good we try to come to an agreement. But it is not the rule.
What is more most of the clients are in very bad financial circumstances. So 80 % are cases of legal aid and lawyers cannot refuse to work on the case although the fees are lower than normal fees. Unnecessarily to point out that our income is far away from our English colleagues' one.

Mertens-Meinecke, Lawyer, Germany

Mertens-Meinecke, Salzgitter, Germany

If only point 12 was true ....

Still fighting, The Hague, The Netherlands

Pre-nups are not enforceable but are highly persuasive, as are Cohabitant Agreements. In fact, Cohabitant Agreements are the more likely to be enforced because pre-nups require to be fair and reasonable at the time they are entered into.Cohabitants in Scotland were given new financial rights on 4th May 2006 when the Family Law (S) Act came into force. Prior to that it was difficult for unmarried couples - same or opposite sex – to make a financial claim except in restricted circumstances or unless they had a Cohabitant Agreement to rely on. In my experience as a family law solicitor, people in love rarely protect themselves financially, believing the love will last forever. The new rights should support fairness where finances have become intermingled but where one party has contributed more financially to the relationship than the other or where one has been severely disadvantaged.Yes, it will be the court's view of fairness but that might be better than your ex's!

SMcGregor, Solicitor, Glasgow, Scotland

Pre-nups are not enforceable but are highly persuasive, as are Cohabitant Agreements. In fact, Cohabitant Agreements are the more likely to be enforced because pre-nups require to be fair and reasonable at the time they are entered into.Cohabitants in Scotland were given new financial rights on 4th May 2006 when the Family Law (S) Act came into force. Prior to that it was difficult for unmarried couples - same or opposite sex – to make a financial claim except in restricted circumstances or unless they had a Cohabitant Agreement to rely on. In my experience as a family law solicitor, people in love rarely protect themselves financially, believing the love will last forever. The new rights should support fairness where finances have become intermingled but where one party has contributed more financially to the relationship than the other or where one has been severely disadvantaged.Yes, it will be the court's view of fairness but that might be better than your ex's!

SMcGregor, Solicitor, Glasgow, Scotland

Is there a time limit on divorce proceedings? My wife filed for divorce in Oct. 1998, because of the tension I moved out of the jointly-owned home in Croydon to a bedsit in June 2000. My two children, then aged 13 & 15 remained in the house. I since found a new partner and moved to Northern Ireland in December 2001. A decree nisi was finally granted in December 2005 pending a financial settlement. My ex-wife's solicitors have continually ignored my solicitor's (Lurgan, Northern Ireland) attempts to resolve the financial settlement. The solicitor is never in/on holiday, & ignores all letters, emails, and generally give us the run around. Apparently the Law Society and the Solicitors' Governing body can do nothing about their incompetence/apathy as I am not their client. I have been in a state of limbo for about the last five years, I can not receive my decree nisi certificate, hence not remarry. The house is valued at around £300k, outstanding mortgage of £55k. Can anyone help me?

Stuart Watson, Portadown, Northern Ireland, UK

Also don't forget many women now pay out to men in divorce as I did. Prenuptials are not enforceable under English law and this Government is about to give financial marriage type rights to cohabitants so I suggest a monastery or chastity belt, post divorce or a move to a fairer state. or turf them out of the house before midnight every night which I suppose solves the snoring issue.

Supermother, London,

.......or you could hire a team of ninjas.

James, Monteria, Colombia

This merely adds to the well -known fact that marriage has been made prohibitive by the wholly 'unequal' legal changes of the last four decades. Marriage is the only contract in law where one can be financially penalised in court despite adhering strictly to the terms of the contract. Parliament, lawyers and the judiciary have converted the most fundamental contract of society into a giant farce.

Paul, Glasgow,

For goodness sake! My ex-husband and I divorced very amicably just through talking like reasonable adults. Although I had a lawyer through legal aid, my ex did not and much of the groundwork in forming our settlement was via discussion over a bottle of wine. This is not to say that our marriage was not pure hell for both of us, at times, but we were able to see that it was in neither parties interests to attempt to fleece one another. Although I claimed full maintenance for our 3 young children (having primary care of them), I made a spousal maintenance claim of £0.01 per annum, as it would be neither in my interests, nor my children's, (or, obviously their father's!) to see him struggle financially. We remain firm friends. I realise that there are situations where one party is totally intractable but, so far as we were concerned, the solicitors and other agents interventions could have driven wedges between us and prevented the equitable outcome we negotiated. Communicate!

Snapper, Lancaster,

"Marriage is sponcered by lawers if your thinking of getting married dont its only short term and the women get the money"

Really? I'm a woman, my ex kept nearly everything, even though I was the one who paid for the house, the loft conversion, the central heating, etc. while he was still a lowly student. Now he earns more than me. But did he do the gallant thing and give me half of everything? Ha! He gave me HALF the equity in the house. That's it. And I couldn't afford a lawyer, so I couldn't do anything about it.

Pooh, Lancaster,

I am 66, I have never married, and reading this, I know I was right !

Massias, Casablanca, Maroc

Would recommend a prenuptial agreement. Ours was easy and straight forward, we both just listed who had what in terms of assests and cash. We both had our own businesses and the agreement covered those too and stated that any profits or losses remained with the owner of that business. Our lawyer stated that the agreement wasn't legally binding in court, but should it ever go to court it was a good starting point for the court to decide who should have what. She also commented that people who can talk about these agreements upfront before marriage usually don't walk back in to her office for divorce proceedings!

Nikki , Peel, Isle of Man

This column totally misses the obvious - if you have a family computer that you both use a spouse can easily purchase and load spy software which records every key stroke - EVERYTHING. The suspicious spouse can then print out e mails/bank statements etc for evidence.

Howard, Savannah,

There is a far simpler and less stressful option, which is entirely free. Don't get married. Ever. If a woman loves you, she loves you just as much single. If you want a "wife" to look after your kids, pay a childminder/get a nanny. If the woman you love won't agree to this, find one who will. Bitter? No, just wise after the event, and learned from my "mistake".

john smith, manchester, uk

My lawyer refused to draw up a prenuptial agreement. If I'd had one, I would have still had the house -I- paid for. As it is, my ex (husband!) kept it, and I'm condemned to live in a rented hovel, just because I didn't want to go to court (things were bad enough for my son as it was, and I couldn't afford a lawyer).

starling, Lancaster,

If you are getting a divorce hopefully as it says
In the article you can maintain a sense of humour.
When I got divorced we split the house fifty fifty.
My ex wife has the inside and I have the outside.

TonyOz, Bournemouth,

Marriage is sponcered by lawers if your thinking of getting married dont its only short term and the women get the money and you get the chance to keep paying.short term partnerships is the way forward.ask anyone who has been married 5 years.

s fisher, london, England

Or even better - DON'T GET MARRIED IN THE FIRST PLACE!

You can't enforce fidelity, reasonable behaviour, not spending excessively or not getting into debt under the marriage contract. If you have assets you get no rights from marriage, but PLENTY of obligations.

The main obligation is to put up with ANYTHING your spouse does, or to divorce them and give them a very large proportion of your assets.

The article says that the court will give a pre-nup considerable weight if it's 'fair'. Always remember that the Court's starting position of what is 'fair' is an even split!

Imagine giving someone (who cheated on you repeatedly) half your equity. Can you buy your house again? Can you buy ANY house again? Or are you ruined for life?

And in return for this risk, you get - what, exactly? Just don't do it.

Jon Page, Winchester, UK

My goodness, there's nothing Machiavellian here whatsoever! Some column. All is says -- basically -- is i) you are doomed to pay and so ii) you might as well be civil.

T. Kehler, Vancouver , Canada

A very effective way of dealing with lawyers (or any other of the professions for that matter) is to tell them at the outset that you want a bill every month, or as soon as the meter hits £500. If you do this, what you are being charged for will be fresh in your mind and you can decide if it is a fair amount. If you do not do this you will receive a bill months or years after the event and you will have forgotten the amount of work done - or more likely not done - by your advisor and you will have no grounds for disputing it. This technique works, and will save you a fortune. If your lawyer will not agree to this system find one who will.

Richard, Rolvenden, England