HAVING read the extensive correspondence following Bob Geldof’s moving article (Letters, last week and News Review, September 7), I felt mothers have been portrayed in a rather poor light. Some of us have tried very hard to encourage a full relationship between our ex-husbands and their children.

My ex-husband and I separated when our daughter was six months old. I tried to establish regular contact between them, driving an hour each way to meet him, altering social arrangements to fit in with him when he did (occasionally) want to meet her and even telephoning his new wife to appeal to her to encourage regular contact.

Sadly his contact dwindled to nothing despite my best efforts and he has now not seen or telephoned my daughter for seven years. A sad letter that she sent to him at the age of about seven prompted a pleasant reply telling her that he was very busy at work and with his hobbies and that when she was older he would, of course, see her.

Name and address supplied

FAULT: In separation and divorce there are no winners and the main casualties are the children. I do not believe that the family law system deliberately sets out to victimise fathers. The judges, after all, are dealing with parents who have already failed their children. It is entirely our fault as parents, mothers and fathers when communication breaks down and we resort to the courts. Thankfully, only a relatively small proportion of cases proceed to court.

Education and living by example is our best option. We cannot piece together our broken families as our children would no doubt wish. We can only carry on as best we can and, hopefully, not end up with “feral children” in an “unstable society”.

Christina Tait
Editor, www.divorceaid.co.uk

PAYBACK: Childcare is not only about cuddles and stories, indeed these can only take place successfully if other aspects about bringing up children are in place. And it is here that many men wilt. A happy home life for children is about knowing that their world is safe, that by hook or by crook tea will be on the table when they get home from school and that their favourite jumper will be ready the day they need it. It is also about organising sometimes intricate childcare arrangements for those of us who cannot afford live-in nannies and being prepared and able to drop everything when those arrangements fail.

To run this, especially for those of us with several children, is a full-time job that requires serious and perpetual forward planning, yet many of us do it as well as earning our share, or more, of the family income. Geldof is clearly an exceptional individual but I wonder if he is not cushioned from having to undertake this relentless organisation by being able to afford other people to do it for him.

For me reading stories and cuddling my happy, clean, well-fed children before they go to sleep is my payback for all the work I put in, and I try to enjoy it as much as they do, at least on the days when I am not fighting to keep my eyes open until the end of the story.

Karen Hardy
Peeblesshire