Rowling’s Padfoot

J. K. Rowling has a new dog, a blue-breed retired greyhound called Sapphire. The Harry Potter author booked her appointment at Greyhound Rescue Fife under “Mrs Jo Murray”, her married name.

As Mrs Murray, Rowling was vetted - sorry - like any prospective dog adopter, and asked to provide photographs to prove that her garden fence was in good order. Staff at the centre didn’t recognise her until, when asked for a £30 donation to cover costs, she handed over a signed cheque for £1,000.

“She was a real doggy person,” said Celia Fernie, 61, who runs the shelter with her husband, Jimmy.

Overnight, we are told, a little sign has appeared by the Dispatch Box coffee shop in Portcullis House, reading: “Members have priority access at all times.” While we fully agree that hardworking MPs do deserve this privilege, we would be interested to hear of any actually exercising it. Particularly if they are on the egalitarian Left - and if you have any photographs.

Try as he may, Gordon Brown doesn’t seem to be making much of an impression on the people of Iraq. Even during his deeply worthwhile visit to the country last week, we gather, he had to share coverage across the local media with a Golden Brown, a Jordan Brown and, rumour has it, a Cold-and Brown.

Eddie Izzard, speaking to Radio Times, scotches the rumour (which we hadn’t heard) that he owns a pair of fake breasts modelled on those of Uma Thurman. In fact, they are silicone enhancements used by Thurman’s stunt doubles in The Avengers. “They are inspired by Uma’s boobs,” he corrects.

Postscript

— GAY, the Soho nightclub whose name says it all, is to host its first music awards. As well as the usual categories (Album of the Year etc) the public will cast votes for, wonderfully, Bigot of the Year. Robert Mugabe is a shoo-in, surely? “Er, not really,” a spokesman says. “We’re not looking to make a huge political point here. It’s supposed to be a bit of fun.”

— Oxford City Council is investigating complaints that Shaun Ryder, the frontman of Happy Mondays, broke the law by lighting a cigarette on stage during a gig at the newly opened Carling Academy on Friday night. We wonder if he knows that he did it.

— Ian Brown, the former Stone Roses frontman, at the Q Awards: “I don’t know what Kylie’s doing here. I don’t think she’s cute. Her music’s rubbish – she makes music for little kids.” This from a man who last made a decent song in 1999, and looks like a monkey.