Daniel Finkelstein
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I am not sure I've ever mentioned this publicly before. I am still a bit embarrassed. But I am revealing it now because I need you to understand that I speak from a position of authority. It was my job to stop the chicken defecting to the Labour Party.
In the 1997 campaign as the Tory Government began to sink beneath the waves, we advisers met daily to plan the rearrangement of the deckchairs. Someone (else) came up with the bright idea of hiring an actor to dress up as a chicken and follow Tony Blair around.
Surprisingly, the chicken's appearances failed to improve our poll ratings in the way we had anticipated. And then a rumour began to swirl around Conservative Central Office - the chicken had doubts. He was thinking of coming out for Labour.
For the rest of the campaign, it became my job to buy the chicken lunch, empathise with him about the difficulty of finding jobs in the theatre and make sure he fully appreciated that new Labour would mean new danger. We may have suffered a landslide defeat but I am proud to say that we did so with all the poultry still on side. I miss our lunches, actually. I wonder what the chicken is up to now.
This all came back to me when reading about the Crewe & Nantwich by-election. Labour has sent up a couple of young men dressed as toffs to follow the Conservative candidate around. It has not boosted its opinion rating either. And now it seems as if one of these men went to an expensive public school himself (not the same posh school as Ed Balls, a different posh school). You have to hand it to Gordon Brown's crack team. I didn't think it was possible, but they've done it. The toffs stunt is stupider than the chicken.
The chicken simply made us all look childish and a bit desperate. To this the toffs stunt, personally approved by Gordon Brown, adds another dimension - it is an abandonment of one of the party's most attractive features.
I know where Labour got the idea that campaigning against David Cameron's class might work. It came from a group of pundits I call the ChipOx Club. These are journalists who went to Oxford from middle-class homes. On their way back from the library to their college rooms in Michaelmas term, carrying a cup of cocoa and determined to finish their essay on the Battle of Naseby, they had champagne spilt on them by the drunk younger son of an earl who was fleeing a shaving foam fight. They have hated toffs ever since. And they are convinced that everyone else shares their dislike.
As a Jewish suburbanite and the son of immigrants, I have always found such class prejudice baffling. But as a political analyst I have this further observation - if you are going to campaign in Crewe on class, the toffs are the wrong class to campaign against.
Since the days of the industrial revolution there has always been something of an alliance between the working class and the aristocracy, united against the common enemy - the mill owners. When the fighting broke out in the streets of Leeds over the amelioration of factory conditions, radicals and workers' leaders such as Richard Oastler saw themselves as allies of Tories such as the Earl of Shaftesbury.
To be portrayed as a top-hatted toff actually represents an improvement in the Tory image. Being seen as pinstripe-suited bosses, estate agents and spivs was far more devastating. Consider the brilliant salvo fired at the US presidential candidate and businessman Mitt Romney by his opponent Mike Huckabee: “People would rather elect a president who reminds them of the guy they work with, not that guy who laid them off.” This is the sort of sentiment that has the ability to damage the Tories. Toffs are benign and reassuring by comparison.
If Labour is baffled by its failure to make class work against Mr Cameron, I think this is part of the reason. His class background is actually helping him to change the way people see his party in a positive way.
There is, however, another reason that it isn't working. Voters do not use Labour's campaign to help them to understand the Tory party. They understand that one party isn't likely to give them an honest picture of the other. They use Labour's campaign to help them to understand the Labour Party. And what the Crewe campaign is doing is signalling that Tony Blair's Labour Party is dead and another, much less attractive, organisation has replaced it.
In 1976 Labour ran a party political broadcast attacking the “honourable Algernon” who was born “with a silver spoon in his mouth”. Even at the time, more than 30 years ago, this was regarded as disreputable. Jim Callaghan, then party leader, disowned it. But some in the party hierarchy regarded the broadcast as a masterstroke. Mr Blair built his career on an understanding that these people were wrong.
Class warfare, even if waged against someone else's class, is spectacularly unattractive. It makes Labour seem aggressive, prejudiced, an exclusive sect more interested in your background than your ideas. Mr Blair wanted his party to be a big tent, welcoming everyone. This idea, this powerful political idea, which brought the Tory party to the edge of extinction, which brought landslide Labour majorities, is now over. And with it Labour's political hegemony.
New Labour is dead. Gordon Brown has killed it. And at the funeral, the undertakers will be wearing the top hats from the Crewe & Nantwich by-election campaign.
daniel.finkelstein@thetimes.co.uk
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Pity the chicken did not stand for Parlimenrt he could not do worse.
Robert , Swansea, wales
The challenge for Labour is how to market themselves to look new after 10 years. The personalities are incidental.
ian cheese, london, uk
Brilliant analysis Daniel. Very well thought through. Made me think. Hit the mark. Shalom.
Jamie Watson, Leeds, UK
There could not have been more social climbing than under this labour Government. A ship's steward as Deputy Prime Minister? Alan Johnson's union start from a sink council estate single parent background? Their desperation to succeed and hold on by their fingernails has been very apparent.
judy, liverpool, england
Mr. Finkelstein:
Not to rain on your parade, but your chicken stunt was copied from the 1992 US election whence James Carville, Bill Clinton's campaign manager, hired a chicken to follow George Bush Snr. around to remind people that Bush was chickening out of holding debates with Clinton
Arthur George KAmya, London,
Do they still make top hats? Isn't it about time they came back into fashion. It would make a change from th ubiquitous baseball cap.
Adrian Gilbert, Tonbridge,
Just out of interest, does ANYBODY use the word "Toff" in normal conversation these days?
Peter, London,
When I started to read this article, I thought, oh no, things must have come to a pretty pass if Daniel is having to stop chickens defecating. I wondered, is this yet another New Labour law? No chickens to defecate and thus spread salmonella? Verboten! This could be called the Edwina Bill, perhaps?
Mike Mitchell, Spalding, England
I think that the Labour Party should possibly have had the toff in Santa Claus outfit with the topper.....................why not....the tories have been puting on a Santa Claus act for about a year
Eric, Southwick, England
Why do they need to hire toffs? John Prescott plays croquet!
Luke, London, UK
The fake toffs didn't look very posh to me; without waistcoats they reminded me most of the Artful Dodger.
But this was merely a tasteless backfiring childish stunt. The ringing up a 4am pretending to be Tory supporters is disgraceful and deserves public censure from the electoral commission.
Andrew Forbes, Thames Ditton, Surrey
It was a foolish tactic, particularly given that the themes of the Labour campaign are far from socialist.
I would like a positive reason to support Labour, and that may mean accepting that the mythical 'middle england' push isn't going to work if all the core voters are alienated.
Mike Homfray, Liverpool,
Ken, Age predjudice is not illegal unless you are 40+. Discrimination against the young is encouraged- why else would there be 2 minimum wages? Why else would devices emitting a sound audible only to those under 25 be all over the country. (Buzz off)
AK, Swindon ,
The whole exercise smells of desperation, and as Daniel Finkelstein rightly points out, will rebound seriously on what is left of the Labour party. I'm not a natural Tory supporter, but the current Government deserve a pasting at this by-election, until they serve everyone, not the favoured few.
Bob Ericson, Tewkesbury, Glos,
Richard: "stupider than" is fine.
martin, Caen, France
There is still a high element of presumptiousness regarding a tory victory...........I hope apologies will be written when Labour see them off tomorrow
Eric, Southwick, England
This is all rather dull stuff.
It does not make the lead story on evening TV-News.
It was far more exicting in Tony's day,
Then John Prescott had what was undoubtedly a pre-arranged punch-up. It was the highlight of what had otherwise become a rather dull Campaign.
BRING BACK BLAIR
Michael Blatchford, Bath , UK
Both "more stupid than" and "stupider than" are acceptable.
Tom Foster, London, UK
Surely as sexual-preference prejudice, racial precidice, gender prejudice, religious prejudice and age prejudice are all now illegal and immoral in labour's eyes, what about class prejudice? Has not labour broken the law in inciting class hatred? Are labour not guilty of hate crimes?
Ken Hall, Barrow in Furness, UK
Kevin Straw ,
Would you be kind enough to provide examples of toffs RUTHLESSLY exploiting an underclass .
Or is this some working class myth foisted on you by your parents.
Without this delusional theory , the Labour party would cease to exist .
Nick Dixon, Sutton Coldfield, England
New Labour ministers resort to such as Mockney speech and the Estuary English dialect to disguise their comfortable backgrounds and quality education, except for the ever-increasing Scottish contingent. Old Labour ministers were never afraid of having their privileged backgrounds known to all.
Padraig, Perth, Australia
I get it: toffs inheriting money is bad. But sons and daughters (Benn, Dunwoody, and even Prescott Jnr in the pipelines, I hear) inheriting Labour safe seats isn't nepotism but being reared on a diet of solid, dependable socialist principles and tradition.
Andrew Forbes, Thames Ditton, Surrey
I read the title as 'had to stop a chicken defecating', pity someone can't stop Gordon Brown doing it all over the British people.
Andrew, Scalloway,
Without class and the notion that all are born equal Socialism, in all its many forms would collapse. But both premises are false. Sociologists find that less than a fifth of the population meet all the criteria of any social class.
R Mason, London, UK
Why is it wrong to be considered successful - if that is what it means to be a "toff". I hardly think that Crew and Nantwiches conservative is a toff. Isn't his family running a chain of shoe repair shops? Thats trade isn't it?
roger, chichester , UK
The toff stunt does Labour no credit. But it pales into insignificance alongside the dishonest, racist Labour claims about foreign nationals and ID cards. The campaign is a disgrace and the Labour Party has forgotten what it is for. I suspect it will be up to the electorate to remind it.
Michael Powell, Colchester, Essex
Socialism always was and always will be "The politics of envy"
NuLabour cannot even aspire to that height."
Peter Bolt, Redditch, UK
Whilst Labour MPs and ministers attended public schools and send their children to public schools, it ill behoves them to criticise somebody for going to a public school. However, it does indicate a 'do as I say, not as I do' attitude towards the rest of us.
David Leslie, Perth, Scotland
The difference is - Old Etonians look good in a morning suit. The Labour 'toffs' look as though they've just been to the hire shop and found that their size wasn't in stock.
Richard - the answer is 'stupider'. Check the OED.
Frank Upton, Solihull,
What's the definition of a toff? "A toff won the London mayoral election" someone said.
From what I can see, a toff is someone who had a decent aducation and can speak grammatical English with a 'standard English' accent. Funny, I never thought of myself as a toff. Feels good, somehow.
David Garfield, London, UK
The Toff question may not win votes but it is ,nevertheless, legitimate to ask whether experience and background aid or hinder an MP's ability to comprehend and address the concerns of those whose votes he seeks. It's Crewe not Henley - whatever the shade of blue {blood}.
Tim Perkins, Manchester, Lancs
Imagine if Tories followed Ms Dunwoody around dressed in naff tracky bottoms, pregnant, smoking and swigging beer from a can of tennants super whilst pushing a pram; in some kind of parody of her declared single mum unemployed status. The left would be having a collective fit. Labour's lost the plot
Guy Thompson, London,
I dunno, headless chickens and Labour seem a more natural fit to me,
MIke, Macau, China
That's Grammatical Toffery Richard!
David Kirkham, Highland, Scotland
No Gordon didn't 'kill' NuLab - it was only ever a gloss over OldLab. Now that NuLab is failing, OldLab hacks are returning to influence and they are hitting the buttons which will gladden the hearts of GC members across the country. 'Class war' (or mindless social bigotry) is a big favourite.
Mark, Berkhamsted,
Elitism ( or Toffism as it's called now) hasn't gone away, it's gone underground. The job of the Labour party should be to drag it kicking and screaming from its lair, take its unearned privileges away, and give much more of its money to the underclass in society it ruthlessly exploits.
Kevin Straw, Leicester,
Who wouldn't want to vote for a unmarried, unemployed, mother of five, grand daughter of a baroness, who really lives in a farmhouse set on 6 acres of Welsh farm land.
Why question whether or not she is a toff as well? Opps.. sorry that's the New labour candidate. Hypocrisy yes! Substance no!
Dave, Gibraltar,
Whats worse is that new labour doesn't really get what the masses have been looking for in the party, as the top hat incident clearly demonstrates. Election time please.
RobD, Bracknell, UK
In answer to Tom from Dubai-- gordon did not inherit a sinking ship-- whilst Tony Blair was PM Gordon was the architect of all the disasters now coming home to roost!!!This is all of his own making!!
John, windsor, UK
I wonder why those women in the 1840s screamed and fainted. Perhaps he wasn't wearing his top hat on his head.
eric campbell, harrogate, uk
Well! A toff just won the Mayoral election. That did'nt seem to be a problem for the majority in London. We need a bit of up-front class in all matters and I do not mean snobby chaps in toppers. That is just old hat and no longer edible. Put the lefty champagne away and get down to some hard graft.
Colin , Cambridge, UK
The main reason it fails is that the hierarchy of the Labour Party is scarcely less toffy than that of the Tory Party. They should be reminding the electorate of the damage the Tories did to Crewe's economy in the 80s.
david, ely,
I think the whole stunt shows us that NuLabour has nothing no policies nothing. If all they can do is have a go about the way someone was brought up it says it all.
Grasping at Straws me thinks
Spence, London, England
Isn't the tirade against "toffs" just another 'ism? Had Labour decided to abuse the Conservative candidate because of the colour of his skin it would have been accused of racism (they have not, I would like to say). Yet they are prepared to complain about the schooling inflicted him. Shame!
Andy Wicks, Bexleyheath, United Kingdom
I think this article is right, except that I'm not sure it's fair to say that Gordon Brown killed New Labour, at least not while he has been prime minister. I think he would argue that he inherited, from Tony Blair, a rapidly sinking ship and I think he'd be correct.
Tom, Dubai,
Don't forget: when John Hetherington, a London hatter, wore the first top hat in the 1840s, women screamed and fainted. He was arrested and fined 50 pounds.
It's good to see Labour trying to bring the topper back.
Christopher Chantrill, Seattle, USA
The Toff's stunt is stupider than? or should it be the Toff's stunt is more stupid than?
Richard, Plymouth,