The popular and long-running farce Charlie’s Wedding is still packing them in at the Palace theatre. Plans for the register office marriage of Prince Charles and Camilla Parker Bowles have hit yet another snag. According to court sources, the Queen is objecting to the guest list.

“There is a spat over the King and Queen of Spain,” says one courtier. Charles wants to invite them, but the Queen says it would be better to ask Prince Felipe, heir to the Spanish throne.

Not only is the Queen fond of Felipe — who is uncomplicated and not extravagant (unlike some heirs one could mention) — but she thinks the presence of King Juan Carlos wouldn’t fit the “low key” ceremony Charles had promised her. It’s not even clear whether the couple would actually accept.

There are doubts about two more guests, too: the Queens of Denmark and Holland. “You can’t expect people to drop everything and come to Windsor Castle for a 20-minute ceremony, a glass of wine and a nibble,” says a courtier.

One man who must be enjoying Charles’s discomfort was with the Queen at Sandown races on Friday. He is Camilla’s ex, Andrew Parker Bowles.

The trouble with complaining about your public image, as John Reid did when Jeremy Paxman called him an “attack dog”, is that it draws attention to that image.

So has anybody else noticed the resemblance between the health secretary and another tough, no-nonsense Scotsman: Mr Mackay from Porridge? Reid even shares Mackay’s habit of twisting his neck around in his shirt collar. Meanwhile, which Reid supporter referred to Paxman anonymously as a “west London w*****”? It sounds suspiciously like special adviser Steve “boot boy” Bates, who once defended policy so robustly at a dinner with journalists that even Reid was heard to mutter: “That’s a bit strong.” He makes Reid look like the Andrex puppy.

• A new excuse for rail delays: horses on the line. But were followers of four Yorkshire hunts entirely wise last week to hold up a steam train carrying Whitby MP Lawrie Quinn? Delaying trains is no route to popularity in this country. Ask the rail companies.

  He’s wooed Worcester Woman and been matey with Mondeo Man, and now it looks like Tony Blair is pitching for the chav vote. During a local radio interview he has admitted an admiration for Christina Aguilera, singer and queen of the chavs. The prime minister says he even prefers her to Britney, an admission that could cause a damaging split in the higher reaches of the party because Alastair Campbell is a devoted fan of Ms Spears, a former celebrity virgin.

  The Tories, renewed as they are, should pounce immediately on this key policy difference. So, Michael Howard, is it Britney or Christina? The election result could depend on it.

• Staff at Ruth Kelly’s office have been struck down by mumps, which is no laughing matter for adults (grown men might care to cross their legs and wince at this point). How did the disease get such a grip at the education department? “They probably picked it up from some kid who hasn’t had their MMR because of all the scare stories,” moans one official. But surely all the adults have been inoculated?
• Planning minister Keith Hill disappointed opponents of mobile phone masts last year by apparently dropping a scheme to insist on full planning permission for new towers. So what a surprise to see that objectors to a mast in Streatham, south London, include the local MP, one Keith Hill. He says the mast would be in a conservation area. Where, of course, vital votes need conserving.