As they say in footballing circles, the lad Prince William will be over the moon. He is being lined up to succeed his uncle, the Duke of York, as president of the Football Association.

William is a keen football fan (despite supporting Aston Villa) and aides hope the tactical substitution will provide a contrast to his main career plans, a stint in the City followed by Sandhurst.

Officials from the Prince of Wales’s private office are discussing the idea with the FA, but there is some opposition from the directors’ box: Buckingham Palace would prefer Prince Andrew to stay on in the job.

William would take up his FA position before next year’s World Cup. He’d be a figurehead, whose role would be to raise the international profile of the England team and to present the FA Cup.

Former sports minister Tony Banks, now Lord Banks, backed the idea. “This is much better than seeing them always on polo ponies or shooting things,” he said.

And if William gets the job, it could be a good omen for England’s chances in the next World Cup. Remember, when England won in 1966 the mascot was called World Cup Willie.

Toupee or not toupee? That's the bigwig question

This column is not afraid to speak out on matters of grave public concern, but since nothing springs immediately to mind let’s consider this topic instead: which MPs are secret wig-wearers? Mike Smithson, the creator of Politicalbetting.com, says he’s received photographic evidence that leading figures from all three parties are not being entirely frank about their hairstyles. “I’m still trying to work out what to do with it,” he says.

You might think this trivial but it’s a matter of import to the political betting markets because there hasn’t been a bald prime minister since Sir Alec Douglas-Home in 1964. And even he was voted out at the first opportunity. No hair today, gone tomorrow.

Computer hijackers leave Austin Mitchell lost for words

Austin Mitchell, the colourful Labour MP, has fallen victim to computer hackers. His outspoken weblog has been replaced by a picture of a young man in a gas mask, boasting of how he has taken over the site.

This means visitors can no longer read Mitchell’s story about the government whip who keeps a picture of Blackfriars bridge on his office wall alongside a photograph of Roberto Calvi, the Italian banker found hanging there in 1982 amid mysterious circumstances. “If the government loses a vote,” the whip told Mitchell, “that’s what will happen to me.”

Attlee: “I’ve won the election.”

George: “I know, I heard it on the six o’clock news.”

And where was Mrs Attlee? Not jetting off to Malaysia to make embarrassing speeches, that’s for sure. She waited outside the palace for her husband, sitting in the family’s humble Morris saloon.