Prince Charles will have to put on a brave face during his trip to America next month. According to friends, he doesn’t really want to go and has had his arm twisted by the Foreign Office.

The prince and the Duchess of Cornwall will be entertained lavishly during their week’s tour, enjoying the rare honour of both lunch and dinner at the White House. But in private Charles has raised political objections to the visit. Sources close to him say he opposes America’s stance on climate change, was sceptical about the invasions of Afghanistan and Iraq, and feels the US has mishandled the war on terror. This is not the sort of thing you mention over lunch to President George W Bush.

The tour, which will include visits to Washington, New York and San Francisco, has been skilfully presented as a chance for Charles to introduce Camilla to America. In reality, it was planned long before the couple’s wedding earlier this year.

“Diplomats are delighted people think he is showing the Duchess of Cornwall to America,” says a courtier. “But this tour is driven by the Foreign Office as part of Britain’s friendship with America.”

Easy-riding Cabinet Office puts taxi meters into overdrive

Can’t flag down a cab? No wonder, they’re all being used by staff at the Cabinet Office, whose taxi budget has shot up by more than 1,300% since Labour came to power — from just over £25,000 in 1997 to £354,285 in 2003.

“The increases reflect significant policy work taken on by the Cabinet Office during this period, affecting the numbers of staff using taxis to travel due to working unsociable hours,” says Lord Bassam, Cabinet Office spokesman in the Lords.

Alas, we will never know whether his lordship finally gets to grips with travelling expenses. Very conveniently, the accounts no longer list taxis as a separate item.

Cameron keeps both life and lavatory private

Whatever David Cameron might or might not have snorted or inhaled at university, it doesn’t seem to have hit his popularity in the betting markets. The big money still says the boy wonder of the Tory party will beat David Davis to the leadership.

“So far as the punters are concerned, the drugs affair does not seem to have hurt Cameron,” says Mike Smithson, of Politicalbetting.com. “He remains a heavy odds-on favourite.”

But here’s another intriguing mystery about Cameron’s private life. After finishing an interview at his home last week, a reporter asked if she could use his lavatory. “I’d rather you didn’t,” said Cameron, screwing up his face. “Can’t you wait?”

Just what embarrassing secret is hidden in the Cameron bathroom: a Michael Howard novelty loo-roll holder?

• Google, where an inquiry about “French military victories” still turns up “French military defeats” instead, has now turned its attention to political satire. Typing the word “liar” into the internet search engine and hitting the “I’m Feeling Lucky” key will take you straight to No 10 Downing Street. Put in the word “failure” and you get George Bush.