If you’re a traditional Conservative who fears that dropping the famous torch logo is going a bit far, then you should brace yourself for a shock. The Tories’ new advertising agency once suggested the party should ditch its stuffy old blue image in favour of something more modern and vibrant — red.

Karmarama, signed up last week to replace M&C Saatchi, dreamt up the plan in 2003 while working on a mock campaign in the last days of Iain Duncan Smith’s leadership. The agency’s creative team thought the switch would signal that the party was open to change, and also favoured scrapping the torch in favour of a matey thumbs-up logo.

The new logo would have appeared in a poster campaign associating the party with good things and Labour with bad things. In one poster, a smiling man gave a thumbs-up to the slogan: “It rained less under a conservative government”. The small “c” was supposed to look more friendly. By contrast, a miserable woman gave a thumbs-down as she explained: “My cat died under Labour”.

Another poster announced: “We won the World Cup under the conservatives”. Just one small problem there. When England won in 1966, Labour was in power.

Rebel MI5 agent says 9/11 planes were holograms

David Shayler, the former MI5 officer turned whistleblower, has joined the 9/11 deniers. “We know for certain that the official story of 9/11 isn’t true,” he tells the New Statesman. “The twin towers did not collapse because of planes and fire. They were brought down in a controlled demolition. The Pentagon was most likely hit by an American missile, not an aeroplane.”

Not that he thinks planes hit the towers. “I believe no planes were involved in 9/11. The only explanation is that they were missiles surrounded by holograms made to look like planes.”

Hard to believe, isn’t it? Come to think of it, are we sure this isn’t an MI5 agent posing as Shayler in an attempt to discredit him? Is there indeed such a person as Shayler, or was he — as some now think — invented by the CIA?

• It's said Tony Blair is a wonderful actor. After his statement last week — “The, er, first thing I’d like to do . . . sigh . . . is, er, apologise” — we now know which one. Hugh Grant, actually.

  ‘Multi-faith’ Charles tries to woo back Church of England

  The Prince of Wales is beginning a charm offensive to patch up his relations with the Church of England. Charles, who as king would be supreme governor of the church, shocked bishops in 1994 by announcing that he’d prefer the title “Defender of Faith” to the traditional “Defender of the Faith”.

  But an address to the Prayer Book Society this week marks the start of a wooing campaign. “There is misunderstanding about his interest in other religions,” says a close aide. “He’s keen to get on with the Church of England.”

  But the way things are going, will there still be a church left for him to govern?

• When Tony Blair is finally prised from office, he might consider a modelling career. Judging by a set of novelty playing cards, he’s a natural.

  The cards — showing the prime minister in drag — are for sale at £3.50 on the eBay internet auction site. Look particularly at the queen of clubs: whoever would have thought Tony had such a firm bust?