True forgiveness takes years, often decades, sometimes a lifetime. This is a decision taken in haste and in pain. Hopefully, in the years that come, she won't feel bound by what she said today.
David Greenock, Yarm If you can't forgive, so be it and I hate to burst everyone's pious bubbles here but there is actually research that indicates that revenge makes people feel better. It would have to make them feel better than socially-imposed forgiveness. Angela Mees, Sydney, Australia
My husband and I were in the Edgware Road station 23 hours and 30 minutes before it blew up. I am a theologian and my heart goes out to Rev Julie Nicholson. I know some pretty disconnected clerics. I would rather have her take time to heal than feel she should be forced to be forgiving on some kind of schedule. Forgiveness isn't a pill which takes hours to kick in. If there are things one has never thought about, especially theological issues when one is in God's service, better to step back and be honest about how slow or how quickly one can deal with grief. That is a personal matter and is not open to collective bargaining. God is probably still grieving over his creation after all these eons. Susan Easton, San Mateo, California
Most of us repeat the Lord's Prayer: "Forgive us our trespasses, as we forgive those who trespass against us. It is a deal; we choose whether to be forgiven by God or He will judge us in the same unforgiving way we judge those who have hurt us. No one ever said it would be easy, because it is humanly impossible to "forgive and forget". The hurt keeps coming back, because we cannot forget. Jesus said we have to forgive not seven times, but seventy times seven. Waiting for the other person to say sorry is just a cop-out. The next step on the journey to holiness is loving your enemies. We are all falling short - we just have to do our best. Nigel MacNicol, Oakham
Speaking as a third-generation Hindu lay preacher and serving police sergeant I have great admiration for the Rev Julie Nicholson who has shown an immense degree on honesty and integrity. It should be said that terrorism is not an act of God, but an act of "man" and another indiscriminate act of racism; this time against Western values. I am afraid this is only the beginning of a battle of human rights between fundamentalism and the West. And we must remember that not all Muslim people are bad. Rajendra Joshi, Leicester
I think it is necessary to forgive but not to forget. It is incorrect to suggest that a wrong done should simply cease to be remembered by a person, oppressed even. There are hundreds of lessons that can be learnt by contemplating the offending action, how and why it was done. Forgiveness is an act of the will, and not a state of mind. It is done when someone says "I will forgive" and they continue to say it, and they try to get rid of (or at least disapprove of) any anger or hatred they feel towards the offending person. It is a reality that some things can never be forgotten and that certain actions should never be treated as neutral. They can, however, be forgiven. Chris Deal, Cambridge
After a decade of abuse by my father, I couldn't distinguish between forgiving and condoning. Then I met several people campaigning against the death penalty in America whose loved ones had been murdered. They'd managed to move from an overwhelming urge for revenge to forgiving the killer. I also met murder victims' families who'd held on to the death penalty as a means of easing their pain but eventually found out that it didn't and they were stuck, whereas the forgivers had freed themselves. That's how I learnt that forgiveness does more for the forgiver than the forgiven. Forgiving is not forgetting, excusing or condoning. It's entirely separate. Forgiving frees the forgiver regardless of whether the forgiven is sorry, although that may seem indispensable. You could wait forever for remorse. My father never openly admitted to the abuse. He may have to himself, or not. It doesn't matter now. Not forgiving eats up a huge amount of emotional energy and is crippling. It ties the unforgiving to the thing that hurt them. In that way, it keeps giving the abuser power over how the unforgiving lives their life. An excellent book called The Lost Art of Forgiving: Stories of Healing from the Cancer of Bitterness by Johann Christoph Arnold is worth reading. Name and address withheld
Forgiveness must surely be the prerogative of the victim of a transgression and should not therefore be assumed as a matter of conscience by anyone else, no matter how grievously affected. In the case of murder the victim is dead and therefore, logically speaking, the crime is unforgivable. David Cotterell, Cheltenham
I understand the Rev Nicholson's inability to forgive but what I am struggling with is her need to step down as a vicar. This in itself illustrates the perception of the institutional church that we have to be perfect in order to serve. She could reach the many people who, like herself, can read scripture but struggle with living up to man's interpretation of what is expected of oneself. On a personal note forgiveness releases you from being the victim. It is not saying what was done to you is right but freeing you to experience love again. Mary Gorman, Warrington
I can understand the hurt and the difficulty to forgive in a case like this, however, the truth remains that unforgiveness does more harm to the victim then the offender. Unforgiveness has been said to be like drinking poison and hoping someone else dies, or its like strapping a dead body to yourself. The dead body rots and in the process causes the living person's body to begin to rot also. In all honesty forgiveness is a release for the victim and that helps the person heal and move forward in life. To choose not to forgive is far worse. Forgiveness is what Rev Nicholson's profession, Christianity, stands on since to be a Christian a person has to ask Christ to forgive them, and no one deserves it. Robert, Tulsa, Oklahoma
I cannot imagine ever forgiving a person who deliberately set out to kill other innocent people. Vinay Mehra, Purley, Surrey
It takes time but the greatest hateful emotions are healed through much concentration on prayer. The resulting peace and love are amazing. God wonderfully looks after those who are no longer with us. Father Bryan Storey, Tintagel, Cornwall
Our complaint against Tony Blair is that he makes decisions based on his selfish, practical and secular view of his station in life, but then uses God as an expedient fall-back position to defend his actions. Many of us must feel that is very close to being wicked. Can anyone imagine Tony Blair resigning and retiring to a monastery to atone for his sins? I think not. But he will be in church on Sunday! Brian Lewis, Manila, Philippines
