An Englishman, a Cuban, a Japanese man and a Pakistani were all on a train.
The Cuban threw a fine Havana cigar out of the window, explaining: “They are
ten a penny in my country.” The Japanese man threw out a Nikon camera out of
the carriage, adding: “These are ten a penny in my country.” The Englishman
then picked up the Pakistani and threw him out of the train window. When the
other travellers asked him to account for his actions, he said: “They are
ten a penny in my country”. Boom boom?
Not, in fact, the late and much-lamented-by-Jim-Bowen Bernard Manning, but the
Conservative MP for Congleton, Ann Winterton, in a notorious quip that five
years ago lost her her frontbench job (but not her seat).
She is probably not all that unrepresentative of a certain type of older Tory
MP who considers all this sensitivity about black people and gays to be mere
“political correctness”, a silly distraction from cutting taxes.
Glancing through the survey into the social attitudes of MPs published by The
Times on Monday, against a backdrop of Tory protest at David Cameron’s
attempts to reposition his party, it struck me that the Conservative Party
needs to decide whether it wants in fact to continue to be Bernard Manning
and Stan Boardman, or whether it might drag itself into the era at least of
Victoria Wood, if not quite Catherine Tate.
Britain today is less Boardman (“F****** hell. I am being heckled by Pakis
now. Why don’t you go back to your curry house or shop in Bradford? Your
elephant’s waiting outside”), more Ricky Gervais (to a man in a wheelchair:
“Thirty-one? You should be walking by now then”). Which is to say, if it’s
offensive, it’s with a sort of wink; slicker, subtler and much smarter.
Modern comedy can be extraordinarily politically incorrect – look at Matt
Lucas’s slutty single mother Vicky Pollard, or his only gay in the village,
or Sacha Baron Cohen’s Ali G, let alone Borat – but it is a lot
more clever about it than Manning was: “They actually think they’re English
because they are born here. That means if a dog’s born in a stable, it is a
horse.” That one he directed at the only black man in a 300-strong audience
of whites.
Now come back to the poll of MPs conducted for The Times this week by Populus,
and what it tells us about today’s Conservative backbencher. Where 59 per
cent of Labour MPs think Britain a united country, only 22 per cent of
Conservative MPs do. Where 98 per cent of Labour MPs consider Britain a
better country to live than it was 20 years ago, only 41 per cent of Tories
do.
The starkest gaps were on racial diversity. More than nine out of ten Labour
MPs agreed that “the diverse mix of races, cultures and religions now found
in our society has improved Britain”, but nearly a half of Conservatives
disagreed. A call for people to be more tolerant of different ethnic groups
and cultures found support from 94 per cent of Labour MPs but just two
thirds of Conservatives. How can you oppose greater tolerance? And
multiculturalism was backed by eight out of ten Labour backbenchers but
rejected by the same proportion of Conservatives. Oh, and on gay rights, you
have 83 per cent backing for equality from Labour compared with less than
half of the Tories.
What an astonishing poll. What a negative, backward-looking, divisive and
pessimistic view of Britain is contained in that profile of today’s
Conservative MP. Compared with the attitudes of Britain as a whole, as
polled by Populus two years ago on exactly the same questions, on the racial
and equality issues Tory and Labour MPs are equally out of synch with the
views of the country, but with this key difference: Labour MPs are massively
more optimistic than the population as a whole, Tory MPs equally as starkly
pessimistic.
Now who do you want to govern you, the optimist or the pessimist? The one who
thinks we can be a united, progressive, diverse and tolerant nation, or the
one who thinks the country went to the dogs (and the blacks, the Asians,
“Europe”) long ago? The one who looks forward, or the one who thinks there’s
nothing to be done?
This is what Mr Cameron is trying to teach his out-of-touch, negative,
intolerant and divisive party. And this is what Mr Cameron had to spell out
for them yet again this week: the reason why he has to move the Conservative
Party back to the centre ground: “We stopped fooling ourselves that if we
played the same old tunes we’d somehow get a different result.”
The point about the startling political incorrectness of modern comedy is that
it assumes a certain set of attitudes of its audience: if Gervais or Lucas
or Baron Cohen thought we were homophobic, or racist, or biased against the
disabled, they wouldn’t go near those jokes. They are only possible because
the country has moved so far since the days when Manning was tramping around
the airwaves.
But has the Conservative Party? The point of the derided Alist of Conservative
candidates was to try to broaden the Tory party in the House of Commons
beyond Sir Humphrey Battleton and his bridge partners to progress towards
selecting a more diverse, younger, darker range of candidates, to actually
effect a change in the Parliamentary Party itself. Sure, the list wasn’t
diverse enough, but it was a hell of a lot better than the current crop of
MPs.
And Mr Cameron had to drop it after the party at large rebelled against it,
just as it now threatens to rebel against him. If the Tory party turns
against its leader now, pressurising him to retreat to its exclusively white
male comfort zone and head off to the right again, it would prove its utter
insanity and condemn itself to oblivion, the ancient butt of old jokes:
“We’ve done gays and Nazis – that’s enough about the
Conservative Party.” (Ricky Gervais).
For did you hear the Bernard Manning joke about the three Tory MPs? There was
a white man, a white man and a white man . . .
Ricky Gervals is funny, what will happen is that the world will change and he will find himself isolated and alone, remember...Manning was at one time mainstream and not in any sense shocking, but the world moved on and he got left behind. Ricky Gervals will experience the same thing even if he sees that as inimaginable now.
rolf groth, liverpool, uk
The next election will be interesting.
I wouldn't mind betting that GB ditches the issues of the past (Iraq etc), sorts out the NHS, generally turns out to be a lot better than predicted, and NL get in for another 5 years with a good majority.
At that point the Tories might as well give up and disband for (at least until now) they have shown no sign of the attitudes or policies that would make them remotely electable. On the contrary, they don't even have internal discipline in their party. Being the youthful representatives of an ageing band of die-hard right wing electors is hard...
The Lib Dems, well, their only chance is a coalition if NL messes the next couple of years up badly. Failing that, they have even less raison d'etre than the Tories. So perhaps NL have reason for optimism. I can't see much elsewhere.
Colin , Shrewsbury, UK
bernard manning, comic genius. saw him live a few times in liverpool and he always came across as a real nice man, did you ever see him live? thouhgt not just your own pre - concieved idea of the fella but then again i'm just a working class man from up north why would i know any better? you would'nt last 5 minutes up here in the real world love. (oops i'm being politically incorrect )
david collins, liverpool, merseyside
The thing about optimists is they take risks. Fine for themselves, but taking risks on others' behalf? That's why we should be careful about their being politicians: Would you prefer an optimist or a pessimist to take care of your child? Which one would take a warm sweater for the child even though it was warm and the sky clear? Now apply that principle to the people spending your taxes and running your country.
Marco, bhm, uk
Very good article and one which I totally agree with and for those of you who are struggling to find a connection between the two, may I suggest you look up the word analogy.
The people who 'get' Bernard Manning's humour are the very people who get offended by him being called racist and may I suggest they look up the words 'projection'.
Personally, I have always taken great offence by the likes of Bernard Manning, i found his 'humour' and his demeanor to be nothing more than bullying.
kim, London, England
The conservatives ought to get the knives out before the election,
because at the moment it looks like it will be a hung Parliament.
With a lack of support from quite a few normal blue supporters.
And did you hear the one about the Labour Government.
There was an Englishman and 320 Scotsman voting on whether to have a Scottish Parliament. Because it was felt .there was a lack of representation in Scotland.
A Walton, Leicester, England
"If the Tory party turns against its leader now, pressurising him to retreat to its exclusively white male comfort zone"
In my part of the world, the Tory party has a certain blue rinse.
Richard, Canterbury,
“the diverse mix of races, cultures and religions now found in our society has improved Britain”
Improved? From what? The diverse mix of races, cultures and religions that have always existed in Britain?
Britain is the same as it has always been, which is great. It seems the Conservatives are the same as they have always been, which is not so good.
Derek Smith, Brighton, UK
Few points:-
Manning has a right to outrage and be offensive, we have freedom of speech.
You suggest his type of humour is out of date. Humour is subjective, he told jokes in the open that people still tell behind closed doors.
Regarding the Tories, perhaps many have real concerns about 'our rich multicultural society'. Would not people prefer a realistic party to an optimistic or pessimistic party?
Andy, London, England
Borat and Gervais work because we all are inherantly rascist, its ok, it's what make us want to win the olympic games and the world cup, we are different and like to feel we are better as well. it's not the end of the world. manning just hit a little to close to home.
rolf groth, liverpool, uk
David in London and Jack Lowe - are you purposefully misreading the article. The survey asked about Britain 20 (TWENTY!!) years ago - not 10 when Labour took office.
1987 was Lawson's recession creating Budget, the eighties were frought with violence in Northern Ireland, people in the country legally working on £1 an hour (approx £2.50 now), poll tax riots and miners' strikes.
78% of Tory politicians think Britain was better then than now. For them, of course, it was. For the rest of the UK...
Tony Hannon, London,
Dear Alice
I am brazilian and read everyday you news from the times online.
You quwstion atracks me because is acentral point in life.We habe to be optimist because there are no ways out.
That´s os my poinr in a shirt terms.
Thanks for you attention,
Roberto Fernandes Economist
roberto deoliveira fernande, Recife, Pernambuco BRASIL
Well who is Alice Miles and why would her hair stand on end?
I think everybody has missed the point here. It is not about optimism or pessimism any more than it is about Bernard Manning or the Office. If it earns money, because people accept the uncomfortable truth and can laugh at it in the comfort of their own seats, it is accepted and if it doesn't, it is not.
If people were prepared to pay me as much as Tony Blair's wife earns for one session as a barrister, after 26 meetings we would form the basis for a good referendum about joining Europe. I am not a lawyer or a barrister, but I understand what needs to be done, in Turkey and in England. Both countries need a referendum.
caroline russell, Istanbul,
In the few days or hours left before Blair signs up to the Con-Treaty, there is clearly a sheme afoot to try to cause as much mutual loathing between parties as possible. Yesterday Paddy Ashdown's reportedly stirring the pot, revealing his private converstaions with Brown. Today Alice Miles trying to get some god old left/right hatred stirred up.
It won't distract people from the reality that Britain's future existence teeters on the edge of a cliff. Maybe Miles should look again at her oh so modern Labour MPs. At least 50 of them are prepared to vote against their leadership if they sign the ConTreaty. Maybe we have more in common than divides us. We all want to be British and democratic first, and international second. Boom Boom.
Henry Curteis, London SW15, London
Miles is quite wrong to conclude that, if you recognise a problem and are inclined to do something about it, it makes you a pessimist. Look at the history of "managed decline" pre-1979: presided over by pessimists. Who made the most noise about the decline? Thatcher. She gripped it. She was an optimist.
She laments the standard of the "current crop of [Tory] MPs". Is she honestly saying the Blair babes, the union placemen and the ragtag of Labour backbenchers are better at looking after their constituents, make more intelligent contribution to Parliamentary debate, are better ministers-in-the-making? Rubbish. And Manning's audience was routinely Labour working class. Miles knows nothing.
Og, Midhurst, Sussex
I must have a good memory, but I remember a time when there were decent journalists and standards. To say a joke making fun about a disabled person is 'slicker and smarter' than a joke about a Pakistani. What an absolutely disgusting comment to make.
Dougie, Glasgow,
The spin-doctor or the honest man? Which one represents reality?
Anthony Barraclough, St Ives, England
I am struggling to make the connection between the late Bernard Manning and the sense of humour of the generality of people who make up the core Conservative vote at election time. Manning played the working men's clubs of the north of England in what are electorally Labour's heartlands because it was their sense of humour that he appealed to most. As someone who grew up in a manufacturing town in the south of England, he was barely known to me. I do recall that some people I knew who would describe themselves as 'we've always been Labour' held views that would make Alice Miles' hair stand on end.
Martin Litchfield, Wimborne, Dorset
Amazing, in order for the Tory Party to be 'modern' they should ditch all the reactionary ideas of their 'supporters'. The problem is, of course, that it is these 'supporters' who actually vote Tory. Without them their is no Tory Party.
Richard, London, England
Alex.P from Manchester-it's about the compulsive urge to control. Are you being intentionally dull?
Terry, Radstock, England
Well put Alice. I am not a Labour supporter but have been struck how our nation's attitiudes have changed (for the better) over the past ten years. Labour MPs and Blair cannot take direct credit for those changes - but they have been an influence. Poor Cameron - goodness only knows who will save us from Brown or the Tory right if he does not succeed.
DC, London,
What a load of pointless nonsense. The sooner people like Alice stop accusing whole groups of people of imagined thought crimes and start considering who would actually do a better job of running the country, the sooner we might get remotely competent government. This attitude of the liberal left - that it doesn't matter how good you are at your job so long as you hold the "correct" opinions on social matters - is the main reason our public institutions are in such an appalling mess.
Syd, Cambridge,
This article stared off as an interesting piece but Alice why did you have to fudge the main conclusion by not including some details from the Populus poll of the publics view. Surely, with many Labour and Tory MPs on opposite sides one group must be more inline with the pubic than the other.
Going by the higher than usual level of immigrants arriving here from the UK I think many people must agree with Cameron’s off message Tories.
Ian Davis, Sydney, Australia
Strewth, any more flights of fantasy like that and she'll have a shedload of Airhead Miles.
JimQ, Salford UK,
I've always thought Cameron's rebranding was a mere attempt to put the wolf in sheep's clothing. These results prove it. Oh dear, oh dear...
Garry W, London,
David Cameron happens to be white ,male, Eton educated and born with a silver cutlery set in his mouth with no practical experience in any field including politics, in short he is a classic Conservative leadership material of the 19th century, not the 21st, he tries touchy feely and spin (heir to Blare) but is very bad at it.
Unless the conservatives ditch him as their leader they can look forward to another ten years in opposition. I would ask the question not are you optimistic or pessimistic but are you realistic and practical, David Cameron has demonstrated he is neither of the latter, old tunes have stood the test of time, boy band pop quickly goes out of fashion (especially if you can't sing).
Simon, Leeds, U.K.
Miles spot on as always. However, the comparison solely between Labour and the Conseratives omits the party who may control the balance of power at the next General Election. The Lib Dem MPs, naturally, had the most liberal social attitudes in the poll. Given that the Conservatives harbour hopes of stealing liberal ground in Toy / LD southern marginals, this should be mentioned.
Julian Harris, London,
I enjoyed the jokes. 'Hadn't actually heard them before, and they had me LOL! It's a wonderful post-2nd World War humour -- gold dust; like when an 80 year old Admiral passed my father in a crowded yacht club bar recently and said, as he squeezed through: "my, your looking pretty this evening John; I could almost go for you myself!" However, surely the Conservatives aren't as bad as Alice suggests? I don't think so anyway, and I agree with Jack Lowe on the questionnaire.
Christopher Hall, Sheffield,
I didn't realise Conservative MPs were so in tune with the general public! No wonder more people voted Conservative than Labour across England in 2005's general election.
If only the Conservative Party were prepared to do something about it, they'd clean up at the next general election!
Paul, Manchester, England
Far form being a Conservative supporter, I find them a bunch of useless idiots too concerned with their own situation, rather than that of the country, however I am far from believing that the multicultural and tolerant society we have is an optomistic place to be.
My own feelings are that the importation of other cultures into this country, which during my teenage years made me glad to be British has become a poorly managed catastrophe with huge divides in the population and unease and unrest in peoples minds common place.
Be it skinhead white thugs, gangs of gun toting blacks, muslim terrorists and the greater uniter of races that is the hoodied vandals, I am loath to stay it but I fear multi-culturalism doesn't really work far from pessimistic, laws the are routinely broken and not enforced because of the fear of being declared racist leave this country open to strife as much as ever.
James , coventry, UK
To be quite honest, If I was to be the butt of a comedian's joke, I would much rather it be to do with my racial background than to do with my personal circumstances.
How can anyone think that Ricky Gervais wheelchair joke is less offensive than Bernard Mannings Born in a Stable joke?
Todays comedians more sophisticated? Your'e having a laugh!
Phil, Worcester,
It's tragic- we desperately need a modern progressive centre-right party to pull the country together- David Cameron understands that pretty well- but the old brigade are like a bunch of lemmings - they can't wait to self destruct. It's a pity- they are doing the country and the British people a grave disservice by vandalising any attempt to re-establish the Party as genuinely progressive and tolerant, in tune with the modern world and its broadening diversity. Mr Brown must pray every Sunday that the Conservative Party continues to sabotage its future and undermine its leader - if it genuinely changes, Gordon Brown would have no chance to survive as Prime Minister. If it doesn't change- he can't lose.
Doug, Glasgow,
"Why are the Tories like Bernard Manning?"
Do you mean dead?
S. Quinlivan, Brussels,
The majority of MP's are white middle aged males for a host of reasons. It is a lot more complex than the Conservative Party simply refusing to accept an ethnic minority woman candidate at a local level. To impose such a candidate on the local party is to accept defeat before the race has begun.
Any candidate forced on the local party will have minimum support and struggle to get his/her supporters to vote. Successful minorities would probably come from within the local party, so it would be a lot more helpful to make the local party more inclusive, rather than a top down dictatorial style.To steal G. Williams phrase, I'd rather have I Darkie I know than a Drunken Crook from Central Office.
C T, Wolverhampton,
Bernard Manning was very funny
i don't think he ever engaged in any vicousness in real life, in fact he was a nice man
maybe we should all laugh at each other more. it stops real extremism from growing
Kev, Shanghai, China
One can deplore the statistical methodology but I wince on hearing the homophobic and racist views of older Conservatives.
Margaret, Lincoln, UK
If I had to choose between oblivion or a party of people like Alice Miles I would choose oblivion.
Anthony Back, Wellington, Telford, England
Is Alice Miles really so naive? Does she expect Labour to vote against itself?
B,W,Johnson, Hurstpierpoint,
Terry from Radstock - what on earth are you on about???? Are you being intentionally hilarious?
Alex P, manchester, uk
I don't believe for one minute that all those people who have vilified the late Bernard Manning in the media over the past two days, have never told a joke that is either in bad taste or not politically correct. The only difference is, Manning told them in public, whereas others hid behind the curtains and then pretended how shocked they were at what Bernard said.
I think Bernard was more astute than what the public have given him credit for. Telling the jokes he told, kept him in the media limelight longer than those PC comedians and politicians who condemned him, the same people whose names are long forgotten. Bernard definitely had the last laugh and will constantly be referred to in the media for years to come.
Garry, East Wemyss,
Even for me, a long-time Labour supporter, the direction of the Conservative Party MP's who want rebellion is frightening.
I do not want to be part of a democracy with no alternative. I want to know that there is a sensible and reasonable opposition that can govern the country, even if it is with an economic and social philosophy that I don't agree with, when the Labour Party loses direction, quality or integrity (as inevitably happens after too long in power).
If the Tory Party can get behind Cameron they might win the next election or they might not, but at least the country will have a sensible alternatove.
Ian James, Blandford, Dorset
Sir,
What planet is Alice Miles on? The Populus questions on whether Britain is a 'united country' and a 'better country to live than 20 years ago' are effectively asking Labour MP's 'have you done a great job since you have been in power or not?' - a tough question and what a surprise that 98% said yes. Try it on a representative sample of Joe Public instead of on MPs. This issue has absolutely nothing to do with optimism and pessimism. Here's one: ' Has the invasion of Iraq improved race relations in Britain?' I wonder how many Labour MPs will answer honestly and impartially - another 98% 'yes', perhaps? Does disagreeing with the Iraq invasion and fearing for Iraq's future make one a pessimist?
Jack Lowe, Bickley, Kent
Sticks and stones Alice. If I close my eyes it's strange how easily I am able to picture you and all your smug 'intellectual by numbers' associates standing behind a Hitler or a Stallin. On the balcony with Prescott , Mandleson<Blair and Hain you all appear so happy.
Terry, Radstock, England
Could it not be because Labour are in power they have to be optimistic to talk up the changes they've made, whereas the conservatives as the opposition take a pessimistic view as to show nothing has changed under labour. Or would that far more obvious answer not work in your Tory bashing article?
David, London,
Reminds me of the story of a selection meeting in one of the old Conservative shire constituencies.
The Association Chairman was sounding off in the bar afterwards.
"We asked Central Office to send us a selection of suitable candidates, and what did they send us ? A Woman, A Darkie, A Homosexual, and a Drunken Crook ! I mean what choice did we have ? We had to select the Drunken Crook !"
Obviously nothing changes.
Gareth Williams, Caerphilly, Wales
Mr Cameron won't "teach his out-of-touch, negative, intolerant and divisive party" much by refusing to engage with our EU partners. His decision not to attend "a meeting of the centre-right party leaders, headed by Mrs Merkel, on Thursday" demonstrates how he's running scared of the intolerant, euro-sceptic wing (or majority?) of his party. They're still determined to go on fighting 35 year old battles. Expect a Hague-like panic induced lurch to the right if their poll ratings don’t dramatically improve soon...
Brian Hughes, Cheltenham, UK
Well, if I had to choose between optimist and pessimist to tell me about the true state of affairs, I'd go with the pessimist - it's been shown countless times that they are more accurate judges of reality.
But if I wanted anything done about it, I'd go for an optimist every time.
However, I don't think that's _really_ the choic on offer here.
William McIlhagga, Ilkley,
excelletn article. Just to put it into focus women make up roughly 50% of the population, among tory Mp's just 9% of them are women. Not a single black or asian woman among them.
There are 2 million Muslims in Britain, making up 3% of the population. Not a single Muslim MP, is it any wonder that the majority of this voter population (over 80%) votes Labour.
The conservatives need to be dragged kicking and screaming into the 21st century, it has for too long been the preserve of Sir Henry Battleton and his chums. This failure has cost the country the Iraq war to some degree as there has not been an effective opposition.
However Cameron may want to revolutionise the party, can so many shadow ministers from Eton and Oxbridge relate to the average man?
akram, London,
But that's the point, Boy Dave's views are not representative of the views of most of the Neandertory Party Mps, much less the usual Tory voters. So the question remains, why is he the Tory leader - beats me.
Al, Weybridge,
Whilst i agree with the general sentiment of the article, you have to be careful to ensure that the correct reference is taken from poll questions.
Alice says 'How can you oppose greater tolerance?', does this include tolerance towards honour killings, female circumcision, arranged marriages?
It should be argued that there should be tolerance for ethnic cultures, as long as they fit within the UK law.
Tim Bruton, Birmingham,
Are you really astonished by the results of the MP's poll? Labour has been in power for 10 years - how many of their MPs did you think were going to answer questions in a way that indicated that the last 10 years had been a failure? Ditto the other way round for the Conservatives.
Had there been a similar poll in 1996 I can assure you that a large majority of Conservative MPs would have given optimistic answers and a large majority of Labour MPs pessimistic ones. Really, what does it tell us?
Optimism comes easily to people-centred minds, but those of us who are ideas-centred cannot genuinely be bullish about policies we believe to be flawed. We can pretend, of course, and perhaps this is all you ask of us, but wouldn't it be better to invest more effort in getting the policies intellectually acceptable to us, so that there is no longer any reason to pretend?
Simon Stephenson, Windermere, UK
When Scotland is the worst small country in the western world and yet enjoys free personal care for the elderly, free prescriptions, no top-up fees - paid for by English taxes imposed by MPS with Scottish seats.
When you have suicide bombers and terrorists of Pakistani origin. When our culture of free comment is attacked by Muslims . You want to pretend this is a united country.
The same poll found that 90% of Labour MPs would invent the NHS if it didn't exist - yet it is far inferior to the inusrance based system in France. How stupid is that? Well unless you exist simply to beenfit public-sector workers. Yet another divide.
If you think mass immigration has benefited the English you want to try living in Aston, Alum Rock or Sparkbrook in Birmingham.
The problem is that no commentator - much less any politician - wants to fall foul of appearing 'nasty'. You all live in immigrnt-free areas and have no concern for those that don't.
eddie reader, birmingham, uk
I think you are missing a glaring hole in your argument. How can you marry greater tolerance and greater diversity of culture ie "multi-culturalism" when inherent in much of this diversity is an instinctive and sometimes violent rejection of tolerance. Lets all be more tolerant of a lack of tolerance!?! I dont think i am rightly accused of racism but i dont have a problem with being labelled a "culturalist". Why should we teach our children that we should treat all cultures as equal when this often contradicts our supposed values of female equality, homosexual rights etc. I am reminded that the same people screaming for the troops to leave Iraq will want them to go to Darfur today but be screaming for them to leave next week.
mike gore, london,
"Where 98 per cent of Labour MPs consider Britain a better country to live than it was 20 years ago, only 41 per cent of Tories do"
Really? Well I say, who would have believed it. Fancy the Labour Parliamentary Party believing that the country is better than it was. Wow! Dog bites man. The surprise is the 2% of Labour MPS do not.
“We’ve done gays and Nazis – that’s enough about the Conservative Party.” (Ricky Gervais)."
I have never seen the Ricky Gervals programme, but it sounds like that it would appear on the BBC.
Did you hear the joke that politicians intend to deal with immigration and protect our borders from the EU ?
R.Wilson, London, England
For the good of us all we actually need the Tories to fall into oblvivion and I speak as one who has usually voted for them. Public perception of them remains one of selfishness and narrow minded closet bigotry. Public perception is not far wrong by the look of things.
We need a new centre right party which believes in free markets, a small state, lower taxes etc but which does not have the hang-ups of the old Tory party and its history. Only a new party will win the trust of the nation to undertake the reforms we sorely need. The Conservative Party may be a rebranding too far, simply calling itself New Conservative a la Labour will never work however much Cameron and his ilk try to remake it.
Paul Owen, Birmingham, UK
David Cameron has stated two policies so far that I can think of. He doesn’t believe in selective schools in the state sector, and he’s not greatly in favour of cutting taxes. So, if we suspect that selective state schools can lead to greater social mobility, and if we believe that the fiscal burden is going to cripple the economy, then we're backward looking, racist and generally intolerant?
I agree that the Tories need to change, but Dave’s throwing out the baby with the bathwater. You don’t have to be racist to dislike what he’s doing. The article is simplistic, patronising and insulting.
Philip Oakes, London,
Now that the Conservative Party is just another liberal party, representing only metropolitan BBC liberals, just like the other two main parties, why should any true conservative care if it heads into oblivion? It would be better to start afresh.
Philip Cronin, Bedford,
Who should govern - optimist or pessimist? If I recall my early Psychology 101, pessimists tend to have better game outcomes than optimists. Be an optimist but be generalled by a pessimist.
Secondly, anyone who thingks we are a "united, diverse" nation needs a dictionary, a "large small" one would be ideal.
Serious much-publicised recent research indicated that higher-immigration/diversity nations had smaller social capital - the bonds between citizens. (Internet-search "Robert Putnam" for ref) So the evil Conservatives are in fact right on the factual money in their 'gut feeling' of what has occurred and it is the Labour Pollyannas whose fashionable right-on views do not reflect the experience of their hapless constituents.
In Labour's case the "optimism" generally manifests in ignoring the possibility of problems, then the probablity of problems, and then denying the existence of problems. Nice in game show host or dinner hostess. Disaster in the ships captain.
Alistair Stewart, London, UK
As the consequences of the political and moral decadence of modern Britain play out over the next twenty years, it is the Tory MPs that you are deriding as neanderthals who will be hailed as forward thinkers, indeed prophets. We do not need racists or progressives, optimists or pessimists, but realists.
Christopher Gillibrand, Brussels, Belgium in exile
The flaw in Alice Miles view of the world is that she believes everything is simply a matter of opinion. There is increasing hard evidence, amassed by the world's top sociologists, that ethnic diversity is on balance a serious weakness to societies, so if "More than nine out of ten Labour MPs agreed that the diverse mix of races, cultures and religions now found in our society has improved Britain”, all that means is that 90% of Labour MPs are wrong. Similarly, most social scientists who study "happiness" tend to agree that the populations of affluent societies have been getting unhappier in recent decades, so if "98 per cent of Labour MPs consider Britain a better country to live than it was 20 years ago", they are the ones who are out of touch. "How can you oppose greater tolerance?" she writes. Tolerating developments that are a threat is simply foolishness or cowardice. And the final inanity: "who do you want to govern you, the optimist or the pessimist?" How about a REALIST?
Dave, Harrogate,
Ms Miles asks:"How can you oppose greater tolerance?"
Answer:When the objective of the group/s we are tolerating is to destroy our democracy and our way of life including our highly tolerant attitude to most things.
Her other question:"Who do you want to govern you,the optimist or the pessimist?"
Answer:Neither,we need a realist,of ability and intelligence.
COLIN , Hong Kong,
Very biased. The survey wasn't 'do you think we can be' it was 'do you think we are'. Optimism or pessimism can't be derived from a question on the current status, only from a view of the future. Which isn't cited. Shoddy journalism.
Lucy, London,
Alice , there was an Englishman and a polish man,
the Englishman said I need someone to pick my strawberries polish man told the Englishman he would pick the strawberries but would need help I will help you
said the Englishman , no said the polish man you are the boss.
I will get more polish men to help me, so the polish man got more polish men to help him, the polish man needed a wife so the phoned his wife and she came from Poland and brought with her her children , and the Englishman
told the polish man, he could not afford to PAY THE POLISHMAN AND ALL HIS FAMILY AND FRIENDS ANYMORE SO THE POLISHMAN PURCHASED THE FIELDS FROM THE ENGLISHMAN AND NOW HES THE BOSS.
george william taylor , hull, uk
Does Alice Miles talk to anyone who does not live in Islington? In particular does whe ever talk to first generation Britons - other than those who have made it and subscribe to New Labour. She appears to be totally out of touch with any hoi polloi otherwise she would realise that hers are the outdated minority views.
Jacques Green, London,