‘Robin Hood’ Hain plans a smash and grab raid on City bonuses

Spend those City bonuses while you can: Peter Hain wants you to hand them over to the poor.

The Northern Ireland and Welsh secretary, who by complete coincidence is campaigning to be deputy leader of the Labour party, has suggested that wealthy City folk should lose two-thirds of their bonuses or their firms could face heavier tax and regulation.

“This is not a traditional left-wing cry to soak the rich,” says Hain (although you’d have to say it’s a pretty good impersonation). “I want the City to be the most successful financial centre in the world. I’m not in favour of high taxes. Let’s work this out on the basis of consensus. Let’s not have a big fight, because it will come to a big fight otherwise.”

Straying slightly closer to logic, Hain says the multi-million-pound bonuses have created a wealth gap, fuelling class envy. “Four thousand City workers receiving more than £1m each in bonuses? People don’t feel that is proportionate,” he told an interviewer this weekend.

David Frost, director-general of the British Chambers of Commerce, retorted: “These bonuses are taxed, and it is up to the individual how they spend them. There is growing philanthropy.”

Who wants a white wedding when you can have a green one instead?

It’s what young lovers dream of — low carbon wedding vows.

The Church of England is publishing a guide for couples who want a “green” ceremony.

Making the Most of Weddings, out tomorrow, advises brides to buy the dress from a charity shop (and give it back afterwards) as well as suggesting guests bring a bottle.

No more woks or mug trees either; the booklet suggests donations to a Third World scheme instead.

At least divorcees should find it easier to wed in church. After all, they’re just recycling spouses.

o As the SS New Labour begins to drift, even loyal shipmate Peter Mandelson is beginning to head for the lifeboats. He’s made his first-known slight criticism of Tony Blair. Asked on a new BBC series, Ten Years of Blair, if he thought the prime minister was ruthless, he says: “I’ve been on the receiving end of his steeliness once . . . no, twice.” When you’re such a statesman, it’s easy to forget how many times you’ve had to resign from the cabinet.

Three lions on his shirt — Brown’s got World Cup fever

Gordon Brown tomorrow launches a bid for England to host the World Cup in what will be seen as a fresh attempt to persuade voters that he’s really not all that Scottish. The chancellor, who has spoken admiringly of Paul Gascoigne’s Euro 96 goal against Scotland, will join players and FA officials at the new Wembley stadium. He plans a Treasury study into the financial viability of bidding for the cup so soon after London won the 2012 Olympics.

Tony Blair is not invited tomorrow. That’ll get one back at the prime minister for some mean comments by a No 10 aide who compared Brown to Steve McClaren, England’s hapless coach.

o John Gummer, the MP for Bernard Matthews turkey land, could normally have been relied on to do his patriotic duty and feast upon Turkey Twizzlers in front of the television cameras. Not this time. His daughter Cordelia, 20, who was made to eat hamburger at the age of four in the middle of the “mad cow” disease, has told him to stuff another photo opportunity.

o The Bernard Matthews turkeys did not die in vain. Their sacrifice has saved David Miliband from an embarrassing encounter. The bird flu crisis meant the environment secretary had to stay at the office, being important, instead of touring Cumbria with the Prince of Wales.

What embarrassed coughing and shuffling of feet we might have seen. After all, it is barely three weeks since Miliband attacked Charles for “green hypocrisy” for flying to America to collect an environmental award.

o There is no escape from the climate change debate. Regulars at an Islington bingo hall (“two women of weight — 88”) were enjoying a mild flutter when suddenly the fruity tones of The Guardian’s George Monbiot came over the loudspeakers with his customary message of doom.

Monbiot was conducting an interview at Greenpeace HQ next door, using a radio mike. No need to interrupt the fun, though — eyes down for a fully insulated, more climate-friendly house.

o The Liberal Democrats, short of celebrity endorsement, are now recruiting support from beyond the grave. The Liberal Democrat History Group last week claimed Alfred the Great would have voted Lib Dem. Actually Alfred, with his record of opposition to European immigration, would have felt more at home in UKIP. If any Saxon king voted Lib Dem, it would have been Ethelred the Never Quite Ready.

Times Recommends

• Bank charges hit us for being human
• Sorry, Father, thou still shalt not steal
• The shed where Santa’s failures go to die