Get on to your insurance people straight away and tell them it's official.

A bishop, no less, has confirmed that last week's flooding of biblical proportions was indeed an act of God. And it means the Almighty is not at all pleased, according to the Bishop of Carlisle.

Graham Dow says the heavy rain is a judgement on the West for decadence, the introduction of pro-gay laws, lack of respect for the planet and a woeful ignorance of the Bible.

"This is a strong and definite judgment because the world has been arrogant in going its own way," says the bishop. "We are reaping the consequences of our moral degradation, as well as the environmental damage we have caused."

He was supported by James Jones, Bishop of Liverpool. "God is exposing us to the truth of what we have done." he said. "If we live in a profligate way then there are going to be consequences."

They didn't say why the Lord picked on South Yorkshire in particular, but dow was speaking from bitter experience. Carlisle was badly hit by floods in 2005, when a month's rain fell in 24 hours.

Rebellion stirs as Mong's troops get ready to hand him revolver

Just when you thought it couldn't get any worse for Sir Menzies Campbell, he could be facing a leadership challenge. It's reported today taht the Liberal Democrat leader could be forced out by senior colleagues if the party does badly in forthcoming by-elections.

One YouGov opinion poll last week had the Lib Dems down at just 15%, and Sir Ming has been heavily criticised for holding talks with Gordon Brown about cabinet roles for colleagues. Many MPs now fear a catastrophe at by-elections next month in Ealing Southall and Tony Blair's constituency of Sedgefield.

"There is now outright rebellion," says a senior Lib Dem. "If we come third he will have to go. We are hoping he will go off on his summer holidays with a pearl-handled revolver in his suitcase."

Tory defectors keep the port, claret and red flag flying

Long before new “Labour” MP Quentin Davies discovered he was a horny-handed man of the people, he was in an upmarket dining society for Tory MPs called the Sibyl Club. Shaun Woodward, who made the same ideological journey, was a fellow member. “At the end of the meal, after port and Sauternes, a selection of new and delicious clarets were proffered,” wrote the diarist Alan Clark after a particularly convivial evening. “I left the Porsche in the street and asked Shaun’s butler to feed the meter.”

You know, I wonder if the latest recruit will feel entirely comfortable in the New Model Roundhead Labour party. Still, after you, Quentin: “The people’s flag is deepest red...”

- “I connect with people,” says the new communities secretary, Hazel Blears. “And I cheer people up.” God save us from being cheered up by the government. At least we’ve been spared that so far.

- The new schools and children secretary gets a rather lukewarm reception from teachers on the Times Education Supplement’s online forum, where it is feared education is being downgraded. One contributor is keen, though. “I quite fancy Ed Balls,” she says.

- There was confusion at the first meeting of the new cabinet about who should sit where around the table, and not just the usual jockeying for position.

Gordon Brown is blind in his left eye, thus the most prestigious positions are directly opposite or to his right. So is it significant that Jack Straw was placed directly to the prime minister’s left. Especially as Jack Straw, the new justice secretary, is deaf in his right ear.

- Lloyd Grossman, the former presenter of Through the Keyhole and Masterchef, has been welcomed into Gordon’s big tent and appointed chairman of the Churches Conservation Trust. His best known public service so far has been modernising hospital menus. So can we expect pitta bread and a light beaujolais at holy communion in future?

- Once Gordon has settled down in No 10, he faces a long war of attrition from Scotland’s SNP government. No issue will be too small to pick a fight over. Papers just released show there was tension between Scotland and England in 1970 about which football managers should get knighthoods. “An undue proportion of honours for professional football is going south of the border,” complained Scottish secretary Willie Ross to prime minister Harold Wilson.

Perhaps Gordon should knight Sir Alex Ferguson again, just to be on the safe side.

Times Recommends

• Fantasy world fuelled by sex, drink and drugs
• In short, the story is growing on us again
• A literary feast that I can’t wolf down