Gordon handles it badly as Labour’s have-a-go hero praises Salmond

Here’s the real reason why Gordon Brown decided against an early election: he just wasn’t feeling lucky. First he got a kicking for that ill-judged trip to Iraq, and now another publicity stunt seems to have blown up in his face.

The prime minister no doubt thought he’d pulled off a cunning political coup when he produced John Smeaton, hero of the Glasgow airport attack, at the Labour conference. But now it seems the have-a-go baggage handler is not quite the staunch Labour supporter Brown had us all believe.

It’s true he says he’d back Gordon in a general election – which is only polite after the prime minister showed him around No 10 – but he’s also heaped praise on Scotland’s first minister, Alex Salmond, the SNP leader and Gordon’s staunchest enemy.

“I think Alex Salmond is doing a fantastic job,” says Smeaton, who fought with one of the bombers during the attack in June. “He’s the best first minister we’ve ever had.

“Scotland’s upbeat now. It’s not the old dread and drudgery of Scottish Labour party politics. I would vote for Alex Salmond to be my first minister. He’s a great guy.”

David kicks up a stink over health and safety’s sewer rules

A stroll in the sewers appears to have landed David Dimbleby in the . . . well, in the sort of stuff you find in sewers. A scene from his BBC series How We Built Britain has had to be cut from the DVD version because it breached health and safety rules.

The BBC were given permission to film in Manchester’s Victorian sewers as long as they attended a three-day health and safety course. But, as Dimbleby told an audience at the Cheltenham Literature Festival yesterday, the television crew were too busy to complete their training.

The BBC agreed to remove footage of the sewers after a complaint.

“Health and safety rules!” moaned Dimbleby. “I ask you.”

Where’s ‘Ming’s No Minger’ in the Facebook face-off?

Too late, Gordon! The election is already is full swing on Facebook after David Cameron mentioned the internet site in his conference speech. At that time a group called Am I the Only Person Who Doesn’t Like David Cameron? had 379 members. Yesterday it boasted 1,761. The good news is that David Cameron Is a Hottie now has 557 members – up from 74 – and I Can’t Bloody Stand Gordon Brown has 341. But where are the Liberal Democrats? Is there nobody who thinks Ming Campbell is a hottie?

Somebody from Windsor – no, probably not her – is trying to sell a golf ball, autographed by Cherie Blair, on eBay. But there were no takers yesterday, not even at the bargain price of 99p. One day you’re the prime minister’s wife, the next you’re just lips that passed in the night.

He might have shrugged off his no doubt arduous duties as deputy prime minister, but it’s business as usual for John Prescott. He has landed a nice post as leader of the British delegation to the Council of Europe’s parliamentary assembly in Strasbourg, where he has a chauffeur-driven Renault and last week enjoyed tarte flambé, sirloin steak and an agreeable pinot noir at a local restaurant. Who says there’s no life after political death?

Jane Seymour, the former Bond girl, is quietly offering her Somerset estate to potential buyers after a feud with local residents over its use for corporate functions.

A Russian businessman recently offered more than £10m, and representatives of Von Essen, the hotel chain, have also inspected, according to local sources.

Property finders are telling clients Seymour can be persuaded to part with St Catherine’s Court. Mark Strutt, 59, a land agent who lives nearby, said: “I think she’s been seeking a private buyer for years, but I don’t think anybody wants to pay her price.”

President Nicolas Sarkozy was in the crowd at Cardiff’s Millennium stadium – an honorary French venue for the Rugby World Cup – to see his country unexpectedly beat New Zealand last night. If the president happened to totter out into the Welsh night for a celebration drink, he would have felt quite at home. There’s a street in Cardiff called Boulevard de Nantes.

Labour’s Austin Mitchell will be disappointed by Gordon’s election decision. The Great Grimsby MP had even made an appeal in verse: “The party’s ready, the media squared/And all the unions well prepared/To wait means you’ll regret it/So go go go. And get it.” Or as the updated version should now read: “The party’s ready, the media squared/But Gordon Brown was just too scared.”

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