Green party senator Dan Boyle is the political equivalent of a gas-guzzling SUV. An ostentatious status-symbol, ludicrously over-equipped for the mundane functions he’s usually required to perform, he is cherished by the Green leadership for his ability to go “off-road” from the narrow track to which senior party members are confined by coalition government.

Boyle’s latest joyride was his call for the Standards In Public Office Commission (SIPO) to be given the powers to clean up Irish politics. Welcoming proposed changes to legislation governing politicians and political parties outlined in the watchdog’s sixth annual report, he stressed the urgent need for new rules to regulate funding for political parties.

Existing controls on political funding are worse than useless, creating a façade of regulation behind which politicians continue to allow private money to wield untold influence. Parties and candidates spent €11.08m in total on last year’s general election but, as the commission points out, less than €1.7m of this was declared as donations.

The unaccounted-for €10m proves that parties and politicians can raise huge sums but avoid declaring them by asking donors to break up their donations into multiple contributions beneath the reporting thresholds (€5,078.95 for a party, €634.87 for a candidate).

Urging immediate implementation of the report’s recommendations, Boyle condemned “business-funded political parties” and their resistance to reform. “Creating a democratic and transparent political system is a central Green party policy,” he declared.

Is it, indeed? The only problem with Boyle’s statement is that it’s entirely at odds with the behaviour of the Greens in government. After barely a year in power, the Greens have gone native and become a reliably craven alibi for Fianna Fail, the slipperiest of all the “business-funded political parties” and, not surprisingly, the most resistant to reform.

Nobody in cabinet was more unquestioningly supportive of Bertie Ahern at the height of his Mahon tribunal travails than John Gormley, the environment minister and Green leader. It was Gormley who, last February, declared that the then Taoiseach was “tax compliant” despite mounting evidence of revenue liabilities arising from the assorted monies he received from businessmen during the early 1990s.

In a laughable attempt to argue that the Greens in government are already advancing sweeping political reform, Boyle cited Gormley’s “postering” initiative. This is the wheeze whereby the environment minister is examining the “pollution and littering” caused by election posters. It’s as if a crusading cop who’d promised to bring order to the streets had decided to start by alphabetising police-station mugshots.

Ironically, nothing undermines confidence in the Greens’ capacity to clean up politics more comprehensively than Boyle himself. Not for the first time, the esteemed senator is evidently being deployed by the party leadership as an anointed keeper of the flame, licensed to say things in public which Green ministers are unable or unwilling to say.

This is an old and disreputable junior-coalition-partner trick, used most frequently by the Progressive Democrats during the days when the party still boasted a membership that exceeded single figures.

Back then, whenever PD ministers felt railroaded at cabinet, we’d immediately hear impassioned voices from outside the parliamentary party, reassuring the grassroots of the leadership’s unwavering dedication to core principles. More often than not, however, recourse to this tactic was a dependable signal that the battle was already lost.

Boyle may be flattered to be seen by his party as a “people-carrier” but he should remember it’s the Greens themselves who insist that such lumbering dinosaurs are a luxury we can no longer afford.

One sheet man sketchy on the details

As taoiseach, Albert Reynolds promoted himself as the “one-sheet man” — a swift decision-maker who believed the crux of any issue could be synopsised on a single page. But sometimes the outline details can confuse rather than enlighten.

We learned last week that Reynolds will give no further evidence to the Mahon tribunal as he’s suffering from “significant cognitive impairment” — characterised by memory loss and communication difficulties. The news came two days after he’d appeared on Radio 1’s Morning Ireland, reminiscing about his 41 attendances at the Galway Races in 42 years, and reflecting on Fianna Fail’s fundraising efforts at Ballybrit racecourse over the decades. The one-sheet man sounded as focused as ever.

A bad case of festivalitis

The summer festival season is the ultimate celebration of Irish creativity. From music to sport, food to literature, the country is currently heaving with cultural carnivals. And, immediately after every event, dozens of citizens express their artistic ingenuity by lying to their employers and pulling sickies.

According to a survey by recruitment firm Monster.ie, 54% of workers admit faking illness after festivals. Post-fiesta Mondays are the most popular “duvet days”. There was a time when any self-respecting carouser would tell his boss to “take this job and shove it”. The modern equivalent asks his boss to “take this sick note and approve it”. Like their duvets, these people are featherweights.

Mayor defends race week ‘rip-off’

A notable faller at this year’s Galway Races was Galway’s newly appointed mayor, Padraic Conneely, who made a thoroughbred ass of himself by calling trainer and TV tipster Ted Walsh a “motormouth”.

Walsh provoked the city father’s ire with on-air criticism of the “exorbitant prices” being charged by local hotels and guesthouses during race week. “Galway has been good to (Walsh) and his family and he’s simply taking a cheap shot,” fumed Conneely.

In reality, it’s the racing confraternity — of which Walsh and his son Ruby are leading lights — that’s been good to Galway with its support of an event that generates around €60m. By defending rip-off merchants, the mayor confirms the growing suspicion that institutionalised commercial greed is strangling our tourist industry.

Galway’s hospitality trade should heed Walsh’s motormouth rather than Coneelly’s claptrap.

A dual 'man date'?

Peter Robinson has avoided association with Ulster unionism’s apparently rampant homophobia. The north’s first minister refuses to comment on wife Iris’ view that homosexuality is “an abomination” or Peter Tatchell’s claims that William of Orange was gay.

Robinson might have remained above this distasteful row, had he not waded into the “dual mandate” controversy over the enterprise minister Arlene Foster’s candidacy in a council by-election.

Concealing his feelings will be impossible now. When he appears in public, he’ll have to use the phrase “man date”.

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