“Senator Hillary Clinton said on Monday that the opposing sides in the divisive debate about abortion should find ‘common ground’ to prevent unwanted pregnancies and ultimately reduce abortions, which she called a ‘sad, even tragic choice to many, many women . . . ’ Mrs Clinton, widely seen as a possible candidate for the Democratic Party’s presidential nomination in 2008, appeared to be reaching out beyond traditional core Democrats . . . (She offered praise) for the influence of ‘religious and moral values’ on delaying teenage girls from becoming sexually active.”

The Times
April 25, 2005

Senator Clinton yesterday delighted delegates to the annual convention of the National Rifle Association when she expressed her unstinting opposition to the proposed ban on new classes of lethal assault weapons and dedicated herself to securing the right of every American to own “a fully stocked arsenal” if necessary in defence of his freedoms.

Raising aloft what she described as one of the favourites from her collection of AK47 automatic weapons, Mrs Clinton declared to wild cheers: “If they think some unelected judge in Washington is going to take away my constitutional rights, let them think again! Let them try! Let them come! I’d like to see them. They’ll have to prise this beauty from my cold, dead hands.”

Mrs Clinton has recently been reaching out beyond the Democratic Party’s core supporters on the gun control issue. Last week she was filmed while hunting in upstate New York, and was later seen dragging a dead deer to her new, five-litre Ford Exterminator sports utility vehicle.

The Atlanta Journal-Constitution
September 15, 2005

At a public ceremony near Waco, Texas, Senator Clinton was received yesterday into full communion with the Church of Jesus Christ of the Repenting Transgressors.

As her sponsors, the Rev Jerry Falwell and the Rev Pat Robertson looked on lovingly, the New York senator was fully immersed in the swirling waters of the Brazos River. A gospel choir sang a collection of spiritual hymns, including, Lo, the Yankee Queen In Bright Array, Rises and It Takes a Village to Smite the Evil.

Mr Falwell welcomed Mrs Clinton, dressed in a white toga, as a reformed sister in the family of former sinners.

“Mine eyes have seen the glory of the coming of the Voter,” he said. “The prodigal daughter has come home to the Lord! The sheep that was lost is found.”

Mrs Clinton has recently been reaching out beyond the Democratic Party’s core supporters on religious values. At a news conference after the baptismal ceremony, Mrs Clinton announced that she is to begin hosting a television show next month on Mr Robertson’s Christian Broadcasting Network. Cookies for Christ will feature her favourite housewife recipes for spiritually appropriate confectionery, including Rock Cakes of Ages and Apocalypse Apple Fritters.

The Times
January 17, 2006

Mel Gibson, the actor and film director, announced yesterday that he had concluded an agreement with Hillary Clinton to make a biographical movie about her life as first lady and senator of the United States.

Called, tentatively, The Passion of the Wife, the film will star Arnold Schwarzenegger as Bill Clinton, Scarlett Johansson as Hillary and Glenn Close as Monica Lewinsky. It tells the story of how Mrs Clinton fought for eight years while in the White House for tougher abortion laws and an end to Church-State separation. It also describes her long campaign to cleanse her husband of perverted and sinful desires.

Mrs Clinton has recently been reaching out beyond the Democratic Party’s core supporters to embrace ethnic groups. In an unusual move for a mass audience motion picture, Mr Gibson plans that the film will be entirely in biblical Greek.

The San Francisco Chronicle
May 23, 2006

Senator Clinton yesterday led a defence-of-marriage vigil on the steps of City Hall in San Francisco. As supporters waved banners that said “Queer? Not here,” Mrs Clinton said marriage was a sacrosanct institution and urged gays: “If you want to get hitched, try the Lord.”

Mrs Clinton has recently been reaching out beyond the Democratic Party’s core supporters, and has been campaigning across the nation for a federal ban on gay marriage.

The Washington Post
September 16, 2006

Senator Clinton yesterday urged a chastened Donald Rumsfeld, the Defence Secretary, to stop “pussyfooting around” and get on with the long-deferred invasion of Iran.

At a Senate Foreign Relations Committee hearing on the growing tension between Washington and Tehran, Mrs Clinton, dressed head to toe in desert khaki fatigues, rounded on a plainly intimidated Defence Secretary and said that she had had enough of Mr Rumsfeld’s insistence on pursuing a diplomatic approach to the nuclear crisis in the country.

“Are you a man or a mouse, Mr Secretary?” she asked. “Rummy or Runny? There’s only one language these people understand. And let me tell you, it isn’t Farsi!” Mrs Clinton has recently been reaching out beyond the Democratic Party’s core supporters on defence and national security issues. Last month she joined the US National Guard and quickly impressed her commanding officers with her tactical genius.

The Des Moines Register
November 30, 2006

On her seventeenth trip this month to Iowa, Major-General Hillary Clinton (221st Battalion, New York Army National Guard) was introduced to Julia Ericsson, who according to Senate aides is Mrs Clinton’s seventh cousin, twice removed. Mrs Ericsson, a native of Dubuque, seemed a little nonplussed by the New York senator’s warm embrace. A tearful Mrs Clinton said that she had longed for this day when she would be reunited with her long-lost Iowa family.

The Union Leader,
Manchester, New Hampshire
April 10, 2007

While anointing sick children on a visit to New Hampshire yesterday, Senator Clinton announced that she was moving to Manchester.

“It’s actually a lot closer to New York than most people think; I can be in Manhattan in less than four hours. Besides, I just love the idea of living in a state where there is no income tax. In a way it chimes perfectly with the values I have always held dear throughout my long career in public service.”

gerard.baker@thetimes.co.uk

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