Well, nothing really alters. Call it the true dawn of the third millennium if you will, but the fact is the black guys still get all the lousy jobs. Recession, debt, energy crisis, healthcare crisis, war in the Middle East, does anyone honestly believe that, had America been in a position to let the good times roll, a landslide victory would have been achieved by a black guy advocating social change?

Good for the people, they turned out in numbers and did the right thing. The United States belatedly turned its back on a corrupt, cancerous administration, and voted for the man who promised to be different, regardless of the colour of his skin. We can get very smug about this in Europe, but in France, Italy and Spain there is still more chance of a vote being cast for a guy who identifies with the theories of the Grand Wizard of the Ku Klux Klan than there is for one who looks like Barack Obama.

Even so, can we stop now? Can we stop patting each other on the back? Come on, you know the trouble we’re in. It is amazing the Republicans won any states at all, let alone 46 per cent of the vote. Did you hear the latest? According to John McCain’s aides, Sarah Palin thought Africa was a country. One big place and South Africa was just a region of it. That was the alternative, folks. Another four years of White House chimpanzees. No wonder so many on the Right do not believe in evolution: for them, it would be playing catch up.

So, with the right guy elected, the news bulletins went big on change, on history, on inspiration, on a nationwide elevation of the human spirit. But the media overlooked the greatest motivating force of this surge to a new, liberal America — the deafening ring of alarm bells. Here is the alternative bulletin:

'Change has come' - Obama wins in landslide

Sweeping victory for America's first black president is greeted by tumultuous scenes Watch our video

• Analysis: Barack Obama's victory is head-spinning stuff

• Full video and text: Barack Obama's victory speech

• Early US Election exit polls give hope to Barack Obama

Michelle Obama: a new type of First Lady

For Carla Bruni the game is finally up. In Michelle Obama she has truly met her match - a First Lady like none before

BACKGROUND

• Bush - 'We should all be proud of Obama'

• The challenge that greets Obama

• Full video and text: Obama's victory speech

• Voters honour Martin Luther King's dream

Multimedia

• Bonjour 'Barack'

“. . . addressing a crowd of frankly terrified people yesterday, including those whose houses have been repossessed, whose medical care is inadequate, whose employment is under threat and whose children have been sent to a seemingly endless War on Terror, Barack Obama, the black guy mandated by a quivering nation to sort this mess out, promised to do whatever it takes to clean up the problems left behind by more than a century of old white guys . . .”

Cut to Mr Obama:

"If there is anyone out there who still doubts that America is a place where all things are possible, who still questions the power of our democracy, tonight is your answer. It is the answer told by lines that stretched around schools and churches in numbers this nation has never seen, many for the first time in their lives, because they finally realised how screwed we are. Young and old, rich and poor, Democrat and Republican, black, white, Hispanic, Asian, native American, gay, straight, disabled and not disabled. All screwed, the lot of them.

“Americans are sending a message to the world. We have never been a collection of blue states or red states. We are, and will always be, the United States of America. And, boy, are we screwed. It has been a long time coming, but change has come, and I will never forget who this victory truly belongs to: George W. Bush. Seriously, I’m not kidding myself. Without him: no chance. I was never the likeliest candidate for this office. We didn’t start with much money. Our campaign was built by working men and women who dug into what little savings they had. And thank God we did it when we did because these days, you know, good luck with that.

“Our campaign drew strength from young people who rejected the myth of their generation’s apathy and finally pulled their damn trousers up for long enough to look into their future, and see how much it was going to suck. And, boy, was it going to suck. It drew strength from the not-so-young people who braved bitter cold and scorching heat to knock on the nailed-up doors, or tarpaulin flaps, of former homeowners and ask what the hell happened to their house and whether they still fancied voting whitey. So this is their victory, too.

“And even as we celebrate tonight, we know that tomorrow we will rise and it is still going to be all the way up to our necks. My neck, to be precise. Don’t worry. I know why I’m here. It’s not coincidence. Wars, a planet in peril, the worst financial crisis in a century. You can’t fool me. I’ve seen those statistics from Vietnam. I know the score. You white, middle-class, college-educated boys will be looking to steer well clear of this mother.

“To those Americans whose support I have yet to earn, who have not yet realised quite how screwed we are, I will be your president, too. Because it’s coming, baby. The big one. It just hasn’t got to you yet. Yes sir, buckaroo. Read my lips. Severe. Economic. Downturn. Then you’ll understand. You’ll see. To those watching tonight from beyond our shores, huddled around radios in forgotten corners of the world like Iraq and Glenrothes, our stories are singular, but our destiny is shared. Thank eight years of Republican economics for that. Come, join Obama’s ranks of the screwed.

“America, we have come far. This is our moment. While we breathe, we hope. Some do more than hope. Some pray. Some merely sit in the corner, rocking backwards and forth, mumbling in some low, indiscernible tongue, while rolling a set of worry beads through their shaking fingers, moist with sweat. Yes, we will be met with cynicism and doubts, and those who tell us that we can’t. Yet we will respond with the timeless creed that has propelled a first black president towards the White House and sums up the spirit of a people scared like never before:

And we will say: Jesus H. Christ!"

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