Proms Podcast

US torturers aren't fools, they're using their Gray matter

David Gray songs are being used on prisoners at Guantanamo Bay. Could this be a cunning move towards really silly warfare?

With all that junk in the back, there’s no room for altruists

The combination of a damp field, a burger van and the contents of 500 people’s attics is potent

We've all got our own ideas of how we could straighten out Amy Winehouse. Here are mine

As debate rages as to who should be the new Doctor Who, the answer stares us in the eye - Amy Winehouse

Explaining sex to a young child is one of the big perks of parenthood

At what point will my seven-year-old realise that ovaries do not make a “hatching” sound when they ovulate?

Glasto grows up but it's still exhilarating

If this festival was a person, it would have turned from a troubled teen to a thirtysomething who builds his own sauna

It takes nerve to breastfeed in public. Time to get out the mummy-guns

These girls deserve our gratitude

Instead of looking down on teenage girls who opt for an abortion as feckless, we should be grateful for their decisions

Don't laugh at Mrs La Tour Eiffel - I took my new Apple laptop out for lunch

We're all objectum sexuals, really. We might not promise to love, honour and obey the Thames barrier, but we're still in love...

To stop binge-drinking, make people drink more

I seemed to have taken part in an alcohol experiment so extreme that, like the Hulk, I had altered my own DNA

I want to save the planet, but how can I tell how green I am? I need a green-o-meter

‘Green issues' would be much more effective if they were called ‘cracked, parched earth and antelope skulls issues'

I do have views on celebrity couples, if anyone cares to ask

I have a pretty convincing memory of Elvis and Marilyn, sitting in a red T-Bird, driving off to meet James Dean in a diner

A Brown Sugar - Hazel, what a sweet idea

It would undeniably be more fun if, as a special surprise for Gordon, they got in Cherie Blair to be his Margaret Mountford

Gordon Ramsay should leave the profanity to the professionals

I feel the Australian parliamentary inquiry will conclude that his swearing is the swearing of an amateur. A child. An uninspired dilettante

Walkin' tall, feelin' sassy. At least until the revolution

Footwear should enable you to outrun the angry mob, not make you hobble for a dozen yards, then clutch at the wall wailing:...