Well said maggie...If you have an opportunity to be idle why shouldn't you take it? Does that make you lazy and/or boring? I don't think so. The non-married 21-35ish bracket seems to suffer with this need to fill time more than other demographics. Planning for the following weekend within my social circle starts first thing monday morning with emails flying around all over the place gauging opinion on potential activities...not that theres anything wrong with a bit of proactivity, but if theres nothing that catches my eye then i'll happily wake up on a saturday morning with an empty schedule. I think you start becoming more selective in choosing your social activities, company etc as you get older...quality rather than quantity.

RP, UK,

Re: Ray Jones (QPR)
I understand that all the players will wear a shirt with Jones's name on the back this Saturday and the number 31 will be retired from use. Fine but is this the best they could come up with? How about re-naming their academy after such a gifted footballer? More appropriate I would have thought. With all due respect, who is going to miss the number 31in the years to come?

Norman Cox, Manningtree, Essex

Appearance is everything. If everyone was as "stressed" as they say they are then we'd all be staggering round like we've just returned from the Somme in 1916.

In the office, if your Outlook isn't filled with little blue meetings from 8am till 6pm then you obviously aren't busy or important. Even if half of those meetings are lunch, gym, and going for coffee with friends (or writing comments on TimesOnline...)

And It's very fashionable to say that one doesn't really watch television - yet some people are remarkably well-informed about Big Brother and Lost, considering they say they barely turn it on.

Good article Caitlin!

Anthony Charlton, Swindon,

In this world we are born with only one thing: Time. It's all we have, nothing else.

People have resorted to telling others they're busy and can't do x, y, and z for abc because they want their own time to remain just that - their own.

It is a fault of socieity at large that people feel they can no longer simply refuse a request, simply say no.

I feel special - one of the few people on the face of this planet who has realised that the only thing I really have is time, and the time I chose to give is therefore more meaningful than ever; on the flip side the time I chose to keep is more valuable.

So say no, keep some time for yourself and be honest about it, you'll gain more respect in the long run!

Mike, Cardiff, Wales

"I'm so busy" is code for "I'm so important" which is an increasingly common short hand for "I'm fascinating and in demand". It just goes to show how insecure we all are.

Graham Bravery, London,

People make all kinds of excuses for not helping their community in any way. Mostly, people blame their jobs and children for making them "too busy". In fact a 9-5 job and a family just makes you average, and no busier than most other people. We all have at least some time when we are not working and could decide to offer help to others, but most people choose not to. The dishonesty of always pretending to be "too busy", or making the false excuse that "having children/a profession/a life makes everything soooo difficult" is worse than just saying "no I don't want to help" or "I'm too lazy and selfish to help".

Tina, Bristol, UK

I notice this morning you referred to the egyptian shop keeper as Mohamed Al Fayed. Why do you perpetuate this myth, using the egyptian his is simply Si (Mr) Mohamed Fayed. The Al or 'The' is an effectation usually bestowed or earned, He has had the benefit of neither. I had expected better of you. regards,

Tim Allsopp, Rotherham, South Yorkshire

People with full diaries are just saddo lonely people with no mates.

Merlin, Northampton, UK

Thank you, Caitlin. You have just explained to me why everyone looks at me like the man in the Bateman cartoon when I tell them I'm retired, I'm 47 and in rude health, and no, I'm not doing anything in particular. The emptiness of my diary extends to mornings and afternoons as well, and I revel in it. Of course the downside is that I am beginning to get targeted by those excellent ladies who organise all voluntary activity, knowing that I am a sitting duck....

Tim, Lancaster,

The "Too busy to help out in society" theme really struck a chord with me. There's a competitive swimming club in the North West that has, against all odds, managed to produce some top (olympic) swimmers in the past - but 2 years ago it was on it's knees, bankrupt and, well, drowning. Why? Basically because everyone - parents especially - was "too busy" to help out. They still are - only the thought of it going under (sorry) actually jolted one or two into helping out, fundraising, supporting the club for the 100 competitive swimmers (all under 18) and over 500 kids per year who are taught to swim...but all the while, clubs like this, whatever the sport or hobby are on a knife edge. I guess they always did struggle; it's just that nowadays, everyone is too busy to help out and contribute - it's always someone else's responsibility because, hey, we've all got more pressing things to do, don't you know? (and blogging doesn't count). Are we just getting lazy?

Jonathan , Manchester, UK

good post this. I think we are reminded that when someone says they are too busy to us, the message is buzz off, i could not be bothered with u. And we should take the hint and go and never ask them again.
Of course we might find we have no friends...haha.

anthony wong, london, uk

PLEASE FORWARD TO HUNTER DAVIES

SHARED CONCERNS, contd.

Moving on -- my Partner has recently suggested that I should not struggle with the quasi-empty toothpaste tubes but instead buy a large enough tin of salmon/mackeral fillets that will provide me with the key to wind out the last of the whitener !!

We also seem to accumulate alot of empty loo/kitchen roll inserts which must have a better use than encircling my young leeks up on the allotment ! Any ideas ?

Regards
Eco Worrier !

ALN ADAMSON, REDDITCH, ENGLAND

I find busy people in general make poor company, at least poor conversationalists. Constant activity is like a therapy, it is hypnotic, a distraction from thinking. I believe the more busy you are, the less conscious you are. Focusing on banal activities leaves no room for introspection, real thought, philosophy. We spend a third of our lives unconscious (asleep), busy people spend the rest of their lives semi-conscious. And when they happen across an intellectual musing on the inscrutable workings of fate, they'll call out 'It's all right for some!' I also believe since time flies when you're busy, busy people must feel, at the end of their days, that it all passed far too quickly. I have plenty of time, but very little for busy people.

Lawrence, Liverpool, England

It drives us nuts too; we've taken to calling it the new TB - TOO BUSY.

Robbie Robinson, Coventry, UK

Completely agree re Clarks toys in shoes ....will be boycotting them next time....

Lisa Davis, Banbury, England

is there anyone out there who knows what to do about BT service. I read in the times about a customer who was on hold for 20 hours. I have been on hold with them for 8 weeks. I have spent well in excess of 100 hours on the phone and it has cost me £1000s in lost work. I have now been told that there is nothing more they can do for me and I have to wait. After 8 weeks I get told I have to wait.

sean, london,

In my business we had a saying - "if you want something done in a hurry give it to the busiest man in the office". Now I'm retired, I regret that I am far too busy to do anything.

Mike Crowe, Cullompton, England

This hard pressed , time poor , nonsense really annoys me.
After all , you , me , him down the road , ALL have 24 hours in a day.
It's the individual who is responsible for choosing to fill those hours , why do people want to fill every minute of the day ? why don't you just say, NO.
I know people who are retired & still set the alarm clock for 7am, why ?
Another thing that strikes me as odd, why do some panic if they have nothing planned for the day ?
Isn't it a luxury to wake up thinking,what would I like to do today ?
For those working to a tight schedule in the week, why on earth do they feel they have to book the whole week-end with social activities ?
No wonder the nation is sleep deprived, is it because people have a fear of missing something or of being alone, ?
These are times when we are so much more creative, if it's true for children , it must be so for adults, it gives our minds time to catch up.
Slow down everyone, managing time is a skill, as is relaxing.

maggie millington, Brittany, France

There are very few people in the world who are as time-poor as they would like everyone else to believe.

Consequently, there are very few people who are too busy. On the other hand, there are a lot of people who are very disorganised.

Callum, Amherst, MA

It seems a no-brainer that in a society where three million people (or however many it is) spend some hours a day watching manipulated-reality TV, then there are at least three million people who by no stretch of the imagination can be described as "time poor". Their lives may be impoverished in so many other ways, but not by lack of unoccupied time.

As for copying with it, try this. The next time someone tells you they can't do something for lack of time, just say "Oh, I'm terribly sorry. I simply never realised you were that inefficient. I didn't mean my invitation to embarrass you, and I'll try to remember in future."

Ian Kemmish, Biggleswade, UK