When America’s railroad workers went on strike in 1946, Harry Truman (a Democrat) came up with a simple yet effective plan to get them back to work. He drafted them into the Army.

A radical move, yes. But, by God, it worked. In fact, Truman was only halfway through his speech to Congress announcing the legislation when someone passed him a note confirming that the strike had been settled, “on the terms proposed by the President”.

I mention this because Hollywood is preparing for its own strike: the first in 20 years by the Writers Guild of America (WGA). The walkout is expected to begin next month, when the WGA’s contract with the TV companies and movie studios runs out.

Now, you may be thinking: what do I care if a writer of House starts having to miss the repayments on his Aston Martin DB9 because he’s too busy protesting at being not overpaid enough?

And if you don’t watch imported TV – or watch imported movies – you shouldn’t care. But for those with a DVR/popcorn habit, you’re looking at a long, cold and empty winter of repeats, reality shows and stockpiled movies, probably featuring Steven Seagal. To make matters worse, writers’ strikes are usually accompanied by actors’ strikes, which are usually accompanied by directors’ strikes. Indeed, few people outside Hollywood realise that Hollywood is so unionised.

Which is not necessarily such a bad thing: although Hollywood salaries might seem absurdly generous, they are also notoriously unreliable. A $125,000 fee sounds like a lot of money until you’ve deducted the standard 25 per cent for agents, managers and lawyers (not to mention another third for taxes and union dues), and factored in all the time you’ve spent “resting” between jobs.

Without the WGA, most writers claim they would be too busy foraging in dumpsters to entertain us. As well as offering its members collectively negotiated minimum fees for script drafts and “residuals” (fees for repeats, esssentially), the WGA also offers health insurance (including those all-important shrink sessions). The current dispute has arisen partly because the media companies are trying to replace the WGA’s system of residuals with profit-sharing agreements, which would be fine, in theory, apart from Hollywood bookkeeping being about as reliable as Britney Spears’s underwear. Case in point: Frasier ran for 11 seasons and made $1.5 billion in revenues, yet ended up $200 million in the red – according to Paramount’s accounts.

It is, of course, in both sides’ interest to reach a deal. Then again, if the situation gets really desperate, President Bush could always do a Truman and send the striking Hollywood workers to Iraq. Sure, it wouldn’t go down very well in LA. But, who knows, with Steven Spielberg in place of General Petraeus, perhaps the war would finally get a Hollywood ending.

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