First, a warning. What you are about to read might tempt you perform a Google search for “Ira Isaacs” and “video”. Don't do it. Seriously - trust me on this one. We might live in an age of Too Much Information, but some things are still better left unbrowsed.

Alas, for the 12 jurors in Mr Isaacs' obscenity trial, abstention won't be an option. When the proceedings begin this week, they will be forced to sit through several hours of footage from Mr Isaacs' DVDs, which feature such alluring titles as Hollywood Scat Amateurs No 7 and Gang Bang Horse (Pony Sex Game). If an advanced race of extraterrestrials ever makes a wildlife documentary about humans, this is the kind of stuff that will be used in the trailer.

The prosecution of Mr Isaacs is remarkable for a number of reasons. For a start, the Justice Department never takes on obscenity cases in LA. Why? Because Supreme Court precedent says you must prove that the material violates “contemporary adult community standards”. In LA, where glittering porn company HQs line the main thoroughfares, there are simply no standards to violate.

But then along came the US Justice Department's Obscenity Prosecution Task Force, created in 2005 by George Bush to please the right-wing Christian lobby. The task force intends to prove that, regardless of LA's ultra-liberalism, new, “extreme-core” porn - the popularity of which has been earning Mr Isaacs $30,000 a month - can shock even the unshockable.

What the task force probably didn't bank on, however, was the willingness of Mr Isaacs - a goateed and ponytailed 57-year-old who grew up in the Bronx - to defend himself publicly, and without any discernible hint of shame.

Mr Isaacs has on many occasions compared himself to James Joyce and D.H.Lawrence, both of whom faced obscenity trials in their day. Indeed, Mr Isaacs has chosen to ignore the community standards defence and will instead argue in court that his “shock art” deserves First Amendment protection.

But can a porno flick involving human defecation seriously be compared with Lady Chatterley's Lover?

Mr Isaacs' best shot at convincing the jury is probably to cite the phenomenon of another video in the same utterly baffling genre, entitled 2 Girls, 1 Cup, which became a viral hit on the internet last year. The video took off when hundreds of people taped their reactions as they watched the clip, then posted the (often hilarious) results on YouTube. All of which proves the Justice Department's point in a rather unhelpful way: yes, we can still be shocked. But if the material doesn't involve someone being abused or hurt, we might actually enjoy the experience. “People are trying to shock themselves, because people need to be shocked,” Mr Isaacs told Adult Video News, citing Fear Factor and Jackass. “What I've done, I think, is really shocked people.”

The man has a point. Still, I don't envy those jurors.

The terminated

At least Mr Isaacs' trial is a welcome distraction from the imploding economy. I got my own taste of the misery last week when I returned home from Texas to find a letter from my bank, National City, saying that I had been fired - as a customer. The reason? According to their automated computer model, my house is now worth less than a package holiday to Darfur. Naturally, no refund of the $400 I paid in account set-up fee was offered, although I am welcome to pay another $400 for my house to be reappraised by a human being, after which the bank will kindly consider unterminating me.

Ale and farewell

Even more depressing: America's criminally undersized 16oz pint glasses (as opposed to Britain's government-regulated 19.2oz glasses) are being shrunk by many establishments to 14-ouncers - known as “falsies” because of their trick-of-the-eye design - while barmen are being instructed to leave an ever-expanding gap at the top of the glass for froth. When confronted, landlords will grumble defensively about the rising cost of hops and barley. Amazingly, this Great Beer Swindle has attracted virtually zero media attention. How very different America and Britain can sometimes be.

Bore draw

More evidence of the great cultural divide: LA is on tenterhooks this week as the Los Angeles Lakers meet the Boston Celtics in the National Basketball Association (NBA) finals. During the game on Sunday night, the Lakers came back from 24 points down to lose by an excruciatingly slim margin of 102-108. Among the disappointed Lakers fans: one David Beckham. I suspect he's also finally beginning to understand why Angelenos aren't flocking to the LA Galaxy stadium to watch another 0-0 draw.

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