Daniel Finkelstein
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I mean well, I assure you. I know that most of you are happy to accept this assurance. You’re so nice, honestly you are. But there may be a small minority among you who aren’t convinced. And if you are one of them, I can only repeat – I mean well.
I am talking about the Liberal Democrats. You see, I am about to offer the supporters of that party some political advice. The problem is that they might not want to take it, coming as it does, from me. Because the Liberals and I, well, we’ve got history.
Most of you adopt what one might term a passive-aggressive stance towards the Liberals – refusing to pay the slightest attention to anything they do, just for example. I went far, far farther than that.
As an ally of the former SDP leader David Owen I took fighting the Liberals so far that I eventually found myself tramping round the streets of the Vale of Glamorgan promoting a by-election candidate who couldn’t understand any policy and had a spare tooth in his top pocket that he only put in for press conferences. And all just to stop the Liberals getting in. There is a nice Yiddish word for what I was – meshugener. It means lunatic.
So I’ll excuse the Liberals for wanting to shoot the messenger, rather than listen to the message. But what I am about to tell them it really is in their best interests to heed.
Guys, Ming Campbell has got to go. Now. Shut the door behind you, Ming.
This is not a practice drill. Let’s begin with a cold hard look at the position. Amid all the ink spilt writing about the Brown bounce and the Cameron crunch, one thing has been missing from the coverage. Ming. The driving force in British politics is the uselessness of Ming. What makes the gap between the big two parties go up and down is simply the identity of the party to which the Lib Dems and their hopeless leader are losing votes on any given day.
Throughout the last Parliament the Lib Dems averaged more than 22 per cent and scored 22.7 per cent on election day. When David Cameron became Tory leader the Liberals fell to 18.3 per cent. And since Gordon Brown became Labour leader they have averaged 16 per cent. In other words, Ming Campbell now presides over a party that has lost 30 per cent of its support. Journalists on The Times are discouraged from calling grave situations a crisis. This is a crisis.
And they won’t emerge from it until they get a new leader.
Now this may be monstrously unfair. Sir Menzies has his fans, who describe him as courteous, thoughtful, intelligent. I am willing to believe it. I’ve nothing against the man. But fair isn’t the point. There is a wonderful moment in the film The Fugitive where the escaped prisoner, Harrison Ford, is being pursued by the cop, Tommy Lee Jones. “I didn’t kill my wife,” protests Ford. “I don't care,” replies Jones. When friends of Ming plead his case, “I don’t care” should be the tough, unyielding reply of Liberals who want to win seats at the next election, not lose them.
For Ming just doesn’t work. He sounds and looks feeble and past it. His Commons performances are weak, his television soundbites limp. He hasn’t given his party any sense of direction. When Gordon Brown tried to mug the Libs by putting Paddy Ashdown in the Cabinet without offering policy concessions, Ming said he needed to think about it overnight. He has got to go.
And anyone who isn’t a signed-up Lib Dem activist can see it. Indeed, most of the signed-up activists can see it too. At the last election the Lib Dems pushed the Tories into third place among the under35s. Now the Tories are 7 per cent ahead among this group.
There are, of course there are, arguments for keeping Ming. But not one of them really stacks up.
The first is the idea that Ming will come good. When people get to see Ming in the election campaign they will take to him. Oh. No. They. Won’t.
The Liberals are convinced they get a bounce during the election campaign. Careful study of polling suggests that this is largely a myth. Even if it wasn’t, in Ming’s case repeated appearances on television will only make things worse.
The second, and by far the most serious, argument against deposing the Lib Dem leader is that he won’t go quietly and it would be unthinkable to push him out. Much too messy and embarrassing, especially as it would be the second time in a single Parliament.
This is an understandable concern. But it’s also wrong. When you fight as hard as the Lib Dems do for the smallest scrap of media attention, it must be very tempting to believe that when the attention comes, it actually matters. It doesn’t. If the Lib Dems had enough money to pay for focus group research they might stop fighting so hard for coverage, because they’d realise how little attention voters are paying and how poor their recall is. I guarantee you, my Lib Dem friends, that weeks of television news broadcasts featuring arguments about your party will entirely pass voters by. Remarkably few people will shout through to the kitchen: “Hold dinner for a moment, love, Sarah Teather’s on.”
Who you end up with as leader, though, that does matter. Installing either of the credible alternatives to Campbell – Nick Clegg or Chris Huhne – would be easily worth the pain of making the change.
Then there’s a final argument. Yes we should do it, say the Libs, just not now. Gordon Brown may call an election. Well, yes, he might. That’s why you can’t afford to hang around. You need to act now. In fact, there’s an irony. The only reason Mr Brown can even think of an election is that Ming has meekly surrendered so many Lib Dem votes to him. Want to stop him? Get a new leader.
It’s too hard? It’s too difficult? It’s not the moment? You can’t do it to him? He’s a decent sort? Fine, then go ahead and lose. See if I care.
Daniel Finkelstein is a weekly columnist and Chief Leader Writer of The Times. His blog, Comment Central, is a personal round up of the best political opinion on the web. Before joining the paper in 2001, he was adviser to both Prime Minister John Major and Conservative leader William Hague
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It matters not who leads the Liberal Democrats, in much the same way as the Liberal Democrats' policies don't matter. 'We're stand for yadda, yadda yadda, and blah, blah, blah!' 'Oh yeah? Fancy that...' Is anybody bothering to consider who will lead the Communist Party of Great Britain? Nope. Is there even a Communist Party here anymore, or did they merge with the Lib. Dems?
Let Ming Campbell, other wise knows as that old man who likes to sit and watch the government in Parliament occasionally, lead the Liberal Democrats. Why not. He can't do any harm.
What we really should proabably concentrate on is ousting that guy who took over without being elected, Gordon something or other.
Sam Howser, Leeds, UK.
I say keep Ming exactly where he is... anything to make the Lib Dems flop.
Just An Observer, London, UK
For the first time in a while, and being a true Brownite i find myself agreeing with a Tory but 'i dont care' because he is damn right. i couldnt have put it any better than DF has.
DF please stop giving the Lib Dems good advise because Ming is helping Gordon increase his chances of winning the next general election!
Francis Puni, Cheshunt, United Kingdom
I totally agree with Daniel Finkelstein that Ming has got to go. I am not a Lib-dem voter, but I think they would have a better future having a young leader like Nick Clegg who can grow in stature over the years and force labour into coalition.
Just who would vote for an old and bald guy? I am afraid to say but appearance matters. Howard and Hague had no chance against Blair: could you ever imagine them representing Britain?
Cameron has the looks of a future Prime Minister and Blair was starting to look old and pass his prime, hence the need for Brown. Now, are the Lib-dems that stupid they can't get this???
Ahmad, Tunbridge Wells,
Bit aggressive old chap. I would back Ming over this hyperactive Londoner any day of the week.
Daniel, Brighton, UK
Ming needs to lead the LibDems into the next election and lose by a mile.
It is likely that many middle of the road Tories will go home to Cameroon leaving Ming looking like a bit of a relic from the past.
Then, all those stories about how smiling Ming was behind the deposition of the lovely Charles Kennedy will come out and justice will appear to have been done in a sort of a way.
Why didn't Ming leave Charles Kennedy to carry on losing general elections - he was made for the part in a cheerful inhebriated sort of a way.
MarkS, Leeds,
That line from The Fugitive is also Tom Stoppard's favourite - now isn't that much more interesting than all this politics stuff?
Bryan Appleyard, London,
I CARE !
The Liberal Democrats are the only party who stand for personal liberty, real democracy, an ethical foreign policy and the only ones willing to take real action on the environment.
That matters.
Stephen Rutherford, Bedfordshire, UK
Shhhh! Mr Finkelstein -- sssshh! You're supposed to be a Tory!
LibDem readers: don't get rid of Ming. He's great. Really.
Graeme Archer, Hackney, London, UK
What is it the Liberal Demorcrats stand for anyway?
I mean it, really. I don't know.
JW, Leeds,
Clever of DF to mention Harrison Ford on this piece. Believe it or not, Ford and Sir Ming are almost exactly the same age - whereas Ming's looked 86 for the past 20 years.
If he could just shift that "old buffer" tag somehow...I hear they're making a new Indiana Jones movie...
James, London,
As a spin doctor for David Owen, and John Major when he imploded I thought you would be a bit more sympathetic to principled men fighting lost causes. Lets face it, unless Gordon Brown says he likes eating babies he's going to stroll the next election.
Jim, dublin, ireland
If Ming is so politically astute, he should realise the predicament he's in and do the honourable thing. The difference between him and Charles Kennedy is that Charles lost the support of the parliamentary party whilst retaining that of the membership who were sorry to see him go. My own sense is that Ming no longer has the support of the membership but the parliamentary party are unwilling to take action.
ST, Abingdon, UK
I think Mr Finkelstein is just bitter that he failed to win Brent East - whereas Sarah Teather won and held the seat for the Liberal Democrats
Daniel, London, UK
Who have they actually got who is better? I haven't heard of Nick Clegg or Chris Huhne. None of the other candidates during their recent leader election were extremely inspiring. At least the Lib Dems are offering a choice to the voters. They're very green these days.
Kevin Varney, Reading, UK
One thing that the LDs lack is anyone with any focussed energy.
Morrisdriver, Horsham,
Danny, It's not the Liberal Democrats whose MPs and old lags are currently in the news every day briefing against their useless leader and complaining about a lack of direction... what was your point again? Best,
Andy, London, UK
Agreed he could be a bit stronger or perhaps a change of leader would bring a fresh touch to the Liberal Democrats Party but do you really believe that a change of leader would guaratee more votes or even a win for the lib dems? It's quite clear that it isn't the party's leader that is the problem, rather it is the system of voting that needs to be changed, because under first past the post, the Liberal Democrats, no matter who the leader is, will never win in a General election. Of course though it is to be appreciated that neither Labour nor Conservatives are going to change the system if it means the Liberals will have any sort of chance. But it is still unreasonable to blame all the setbacks of the lib dems on Ming himself when the voting sytem in this country is ridiculously unfair toward any party which isn't Labour or Conservative.
Mary, Reading, England
The minnow Finkelstein babbling about one of the most impressive political minds of recent times. Finkelstein was political advisor to John Major and William Hague - nuff said?
Richard, Oxford, UK
Nice guys finish last.............
Al, weybridge,
Ops, had to back and read who the subject of this article was about, for a minute I thought you said Dave (Cameron)
Tom, Alicante, Spain
The Liberal Democrats are NOT the Liberal Party.
The Liberal Party is a completely separate entity BUT many elderly people throughout the land are'conned' into thinking that a Lib Dem is in effect a Liberal Candidate!!
Take just one issue. EU. The Lib Dems would let Brussels walk all over them again and again. The Liberal Party are opposed to the EU.
Please, please, stop this nonsense of calling the Lib Dems LIBERAL they are most certainly NOT.
alan Eastwood, Falmouth, England.
I was beginning to wonder if we still have a Liberal party -Since Ming has been in charge there has only been a deathly silence. We desperately need an alternative to the two tory parties (labour too far right, tories too far left). WAKE UP, PLEASE!
Jill, london,
Ming is is weak I had almost forgotten there was a party called Lib Dems and I used to vote for them.How sad is that. ? Could they not get a leader in touch with today instead of a geriatric who may be a "good and nice guy" but is hopeless.?
M McGregor, Tunbridge Wells, Kent
At least he doesn't visit rent boys or have seedy liaisons with other men.............
NN, Plymouth,
Fortunately the Lib Dems are a complete irrelevance --except to Council Tax payers in areas they control who have to put up with an inferior service, inflated costs and stupid meddling with their dustbin arrangements. Ming should stay. He perfectly epitomises this self-regarding, posturing party.
Adrian Gilbert, Tonbridge, England
I have ignored most articles about the Lib dems from a biased media for some time now ... I have also given up reading Stinkelsteins articles as they are usually awful ...
This one lives up to all my expectations . The truth is , Ming is the finest PM this country will never have ... we need a better media who actually have some intelligence and don't spend most of the time writing articles that suit there own agenda .
Compared to Cameron and Brown , Ming is a star . Better politician with more experience and understanding than the others put together , but these things are unimportant ... lets keep electing liars !!!
Benzo, Nr Chelmsford,
Ming Campbell has always struck me as a decent and honourable human being.There is therefore no place for him in British politics.
Declan Forde., Eastwood.(Notts), Great Britain.
What is more important is that they remove the Liberal from their name !!!!!
Benzo, Nr Chelmsford,
Perhaps Ming; coming from a different dynasty is too precious!
Alan Mead, LOndon, UK
Oh, who cares? Perhaps Britney Spears should lose some more weight or George Clooney gain some? Who really cares?
The important thing is whether we can avoid such stunningly unimportant considerations during our lifetimes.
Marek, London,
Actually, why should the Lib Dems care about your opinion, or some polls at this stage? Polls haven't usually been good for the Lib Dems between the elections, because media (like The Times) gives them less coverage than for Labour and Conservatives. And that means, that the poll rates probably wouldn't be any better for Lib Dems, who ever was the leader. So why change leader simply because some bitchy journalist is bored?
Amelie, London,
I'm a nice bloke.
Can I be the next LibDem leader?
geoff, Birmingham, UK
Unfortunately he is right.
We have personality politics and everything that the Lib Dems have offered policy wise, such as the polluter pays principle, is just hijacked by other parties - see George Osbourne this week.
But there are structural issues at play here - what can the Liberals do when they consistently show the best judgement on the big issues such as Iraq and make no political capital out of it?
I think the electorate and media can't comprehend a truly plural Britain and multiple parties and interest groups - Greens, UKIP, etc... that would possibly do well under a PR voting system.
Moz, Coventry,
A well publicised campaign to put Ming on his bike would certainly take the pressure of the Tory Party who at the moment talk themselves into every poltical disaster they can.
Who better to start such a Campaign running in the media as Mr. Finkelstein who used to work at central office.
There are far more important things to be addressed at the moment by the media. Where we will each of the major UK political stand if, as Sarah Baxter of the Sunday-Times forecasted 3-days ago, GW Bush does go-ahead and attacks Iran.
Michael Blatchford, Bath, UK
Ming who?
stephen bluestone, London, UK
the weakness in Lib Dem support is mainly because both the main parties are now on their territory. It always picks up at election time anyway. Replacing Ming is unlikely to make much difference.
John Ware, London,
I agree with everything here. Labour are pretending that everything's changed/nothing's changed since Blair left, trying to keep the best and lose the worst of that aura. Meanwhile Brown does 'comepetent but dull' very well, while the Unions make velied references that he should remember 'who put him in power'. Cameron seems well-meaning but the 'old Tory' gang are still in charge and the 'new Tory' set have no idea what they stand for. Neither of the main parties inspire any excitement for the future. So the third party, reasonably well supported at the last election, should be in the driving seat now. It is almost the case that ANY vaguely credible Lib Dem Leader - or even a shaved monkey in the right suit - could hold the balance of power. It seems extraordinary then that the Lib Dems failed to elect that vaguely credible leader when they had the chance. Time to break out the razor...
Richard Glover, Redruth, UK