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From The Times

March 11, 2008

It's Horrid Ken v Chaotic Boris

He has his unattractive side but the present mayor of London has got the big issues right

David Aaronovitch

Can one imagine two more zoomorphic politicians? Ken Livingstone and Boris Johnson are both, for me, recent escapees from David Attenborough programmes. Ken slides out of Life in Cold Blood, like some Lambeth axolotl, emerged from underneath the stone to sit in triumph on top of it. Everyone who has attempted to kill off his career has been left only with a handful of tail and a vague feeling of having been made to look silly. Boris's series, David Attenborough's Life on a Warm Sofa: The World of Pets is as yet unmade, but would feature a smiling, boisterous Johnson destroying a house by knocking everything over, eating all the food and pooing in the beds.

Clearly, at the empathic level, one prefers the Tiggerish mammal. What is not to like about Boris? Whereas there is horrid Ken down the years: Ken and his “I was ahead of the game in talking to the IRA” self-whitewash; Ken and his fondness for Castro and Chávez; Ken and his denial over the downsides of certain visiting Muslim clerics; Ken and his description of any criticism of him or his staff as being a “smear”; Ken and his silly, petulant battles against Gordon Brown and Trevor Phillips; Ken and his absurd hangers-on, like the ridiculous Lee Jasper, soi-disant (and soixante-huitard) spokesperson for London's unconsulted “black community”.

This past few weeks we've also seen Ken and his champions. I think I know the Left and its strengths and foibles pretty well, but it was beyond foible for a signocracy of left-wing luminaries to create and lend their names to an “open letter” attempting to awake the British people to the almost fascist quality of the Johnsonian threat. “A battle,” they claimed, “is being waged in the country and it is time to stand and fight to ensure that Livingstone wins so that the ideals of democracy, equality and sustainability endure and are given new hope...” And so on.

It was one of those absurd internal bulletins that the Left sometimes sends itself in default of talking to the public. What person, after all, considering voting for Boris, will be swung back to Ken because the far-left Labour MP Diane Abbott recommends it? And anyone who thinks that the journalist Andrew Gilligan, now working for the Ken-loathing London Evening Standard, is “a battering ram... against the ideals of a more democratic, egalitarian and sustainable politics” does not understand Gilligan's complete lack of higher belief.

Like Ken, Boris has also offended, although he may not have meant to. The crass columnar references to “piccaninnies” and “watermelon smiles” were probably part of his only partly constructed self-deprecatory “oh crikey” act. He has, like Ken, fulfilled his daft quotient, joining the Plaid Cymru-inspired attempt to impeach Tony Blair and indulging in fairly standard contrarian diatribes against targets such as the city of Liverpool. Some of this barminess still leaches out into his mayoral website where - in a reverse Salmond - he lambasts “a Scottish Chancellor and a Scottish Prime Minister” for being somehow anti-London.

Many readers, having got this far, may well say one or both of two things: don't bother voting then, and who cares, anyway? Is this not all a metropolitan obsession, in which the media resident in a pampered capital try to get the 53 million of us who don't live in London, to care about the seven million who do? Well, I understand the sentiment - but, in Puritan spirit, I must recall you to yourselves, because the plain fact is that London does matter, and what happens there will affect most British people in some way or another.

Now, I originally thought Ken would be a lousy mayor, always show-boating, always blaming others if things went wrong, always setting up Utopian and expensive schemes that would then collapse. But it didn't happen. Instead we got the congestion charge, the most successful and courageous attempt to turn back the inevitable gridlock to which the city was condemned. London managed what Edinburgh and everywhere else flunked, and it was Ken who made it happen. The mayor got Londoners back on buses, Tube and bicycles at the expense of the cars that were killing the capital. Ken also helped to win London the Olympics, one of the most important and sought-after honours that any city can attain. Far from alienating the bankers and industrialists, Ken wooed them when necessary. Ken, wrong on all the things that don't matter in a London mayor, has been right on almost all the things that do.

Boris? Visit the website. In general Boris will do everything that anybody wants, and all for less money. There isn't much that is specific, but such stuff as manages to declare itself includes bringing back the old, dangerous Routemaster bus - the steam train of the bus-nostalgia world - and a commitment to “rephase traffic lights”, which is code for giving pedestrians even less time to cross the road, and motorists even more. This is almost the exact opposite of what we need to do, and might best be described as a uniquely anti-green and anti-child measure.

But there is another truth about Boris, one which I am reluctant to state, because it is both ad hominem and self-incriminatory. I recognise in myself someone who shouldn't really be allowed to run anything other than himself. I did once have delusions that I could be an executive, but the commitment to doing boring things, at high levels of detail, eventually defeated me. Even now my expenses go unclaimed, my occasional forays into other media remain uninvoiced, some solicitors of my services go long unanswered. And Boris makes me look like Mr Efficiency. There is hardly a senior soul in this business who hasn't turned up to an evening with Boris, to discover that it is an evening with anyone but. “I'm sorry,” says the chair, anticipating the boos of disappointment, “but Boris Johnson is unable to be with us,” followed by some lie.

The man is chaotic. The notion that a Boris administration will, as his website promises every few lines, subject London's finances and procedures to the most rigorous of scrutinies, is beyond parody. I was discussing this problem with a Conservative commentator the other day. His slightly apologetic view was that Boris might be able to surround himself with a good team, who would compensate for his rather obvious lack of qualifications. Then he looked up, caught my expression, and laughed. It was a capital joke.

I for one will definitely vote against Livingstone.
I am Jewish and am profoundly against this crass fool who has told a Jewish newspaper reporter that he is like a concentration camp guard and refused to apologise and told a Jewish businessman to go back to Iran (where he does not come from)
What really irritates me about Livingstone is that he parades himself as an anti-racist but clearly feels it is a good political move for him to insult Jews. Clearly this is part of a political agenda for him as is his support for Qaradawi. I urge all in the Jewish community regardless of political affiliation to vote him out. He is a dark figure and his atrocious public comments have furthered the cause of anti-semitism more than any other mainstream politician in the UK in living memory as he has made publicly insulting Jews acceptable in public discourse in this country. Finally, Nicky Gavron should stop apologising for Ken's disgusting behaviour and speak out against it. Shame on you.

Jonathan Black, London,

Livingstone seems to want to represent everyone except the English Londoner - if he gets back London could well become evan more of an empty husk, and more of a no go area for honest hard working people than it is now.

Marty, London, England

So David is sticking with Labour - big suprise.

robert everitt, wolverhampton,

The congestion charge has not reduced congestion. And that's according to TFL's own figures.

The total volume of traffic has fallen slightly, but this has been compensated for by road narrowing and traffic light "re-phasing".

End result? Downgraded roads, same journey times and increased costs.

Nice work Ken.

Redcliffe, London,

Interesting article and I clearly share your view when it comes to Boris Johnson. All my friends and colleagues thinks he is a big joke and can't believe that he seriously could become the next Mayor of London. However, according to the (extremely partial) Evening Standard, Johnson is now ahead of Livingston in some polls. It deeply worries me and I am seriously considering moving from London if he becomes the next Mayor as he represents everything that I detest about one specific part of British culture, male boarding school smugness. Many find him highly funny and amusing but I don't think it will be funny any longer should he run as the new Mayor of London. The Evening Standard has been very clever in its way to present Johnson as someone one shouldn't take too seriously but just serious enough to be able to vote for him in favor of that "awful Ken Livingstone."

Victor, London, UK

Not being one of Ken's screaming socialists, and not having my copy of the PC dictionary to hand, can anybody enlighten me as to what "sustainable politics" is?

Boris and Ken make Brian Paddick a pretty likely winner, as most people do not want either Stalin or a buffoon for mayor.

Peter , London,

Gridlock in London cured. You must go through a different capital than everyone else! The congetsion charge along with Livingstones other anti-car measures have ensured gridlock in an attempt to force people from their cars.
It has achieved nothing but larceny on the grandest scale.

David Thijm, Stourbridge, UK

David,

You are ignoring the numbers.

- The Congestion Charge has taken Â£1.2 billion off Londoners in five years and it has all been spent on ... the Congestion Charge.
- Subsidy of bus operating costs last year Â£617 million.
- Subsidy of Tube operating costs last year Â£553 million.
- Mayor so desperate to add Crossrail to his train set he has taken on unlimited liability for Londoners in respect of what is a national asset.

Finally, the Mayor is strangely quiet on the way London gives Â£17.8 billion, or comfortably one whole Crossrail, per year to the rest of the country in excess revenue over government spending in London.

PS Boris hasn't missed anything lately, least of all a meeting with one lonely blogger who had done some research into Transport for London, ie me.

Phil Taylor, London,

Ken has got one big thing wrong and that is his support for and appeasement of the fundamentalist Islamists e.g. the repellent Quradawi. Why should anyone who is a woman, gay or Jewish vote for a Mayor who supports someone who wants to oppress or kill those groups and who supports suicide bombings. Or has Ken forgotten the 52 people murdered by fanatics inspired by the sayings of leaders such as Quradawi? Frankly, when I travel on London transport I'm concerned at not being blown up by terrorists so will never vote for a man who gives a public platform and money (my money!) to someone who approves of and justifies suicide bombings.

Carroll, London,

As a cyclist, the plans by Boris to allow motorcyclists to use bus/bicycle lanes alarm me far more than bendy buses (the dangers of which are primarily due to the odd dodgy driver).

Meanwhile, Ken's plans for dedicated cycle 'super-highways' radiating out from central London to the suburbs look - in a word - superb. I even have resolute non-cycling friends telling me that they'd would commute by bike to work if they were implemented. - The current risks and unpleasant nature of bicycling in to their offices dissuade them, despite the benefits to health and wallet.

Poor show Boris.

Oliver, London,

Yes Ken is a most unpleasant man and for that reason I hope Boris who actually seems like a decent bloke gets into power.

Dan, Winchester, Hants

Never mind trivia like independence for parts of the Uk, let us all agree to just expel London from the Union. We would all be better off (even London!).

BP Vallance, Corfu, Greece

I was working in Friern Barnet when the congestion charge came in, and found myself unable to park or drive in the area as it became one of London's car parks. Shortly afterwards I got a job in the City and found I could maybe squeeze on to one in every four Central Line trains, generally speaking. My Oystercard fares have soared every year while the service has become demonstrably worse. And given Ken's gas-guzzling trips abroad to meet dictators and despots, I'm not buying his green or liberal credentials. Add to that the man's crass insensitivity, his support of homophobic antisemitic terrorist supporters, his offensive remarks to a Jewish journalist for which he has never apologised, his dodgy advisor who screams "racism" when called out for his appalling behaviour and his demented bendy buses that clip corners dangerously.

And he banished the pigeons from Trafalgar Square, even though he poos on Londoners far more than they do.

Emma, London,

London does not need a mayor, least of all a vain self-regarding one. It needs good administration, proper policing, and a good deal more vision, on a much grander scale. None of this is provided by Livingstone's silly panem et circenses attitude, and the other candidates appear no more convincing. Could we not simply try to do without this figurehead?

SG, London, UK

Why does everyone rush to congratulate Ken on his "courageous" decision over the congestion charge.

First Ken hates cars, and is canny enough to realise that many of those who have to pay don't have a vote.

Second, Ken took a great idea in theory, and managed to obtain absolutely none of his objectives. Congestion is little changed, total net profits are zero and he is having to reinvent the whole thing as an environmental issue.

He has screwed up what should have been money for old rope.

Serf, Istanbul,

Ken Livingston seems to be one of the most unloveable candidates for the job but, I agree David, he's managed to do a pretty decent job. Anybody who complains about the Congestion Charge should actually get out of their cars for once and take a walk along a heavily polluted London street.

Nick, London, UK

Ken Livingstone doesn't flap in the wind like the blairites, he actually stands by what he believes , he is a creative thinker an innovater who thought of 'fares fare'( Look up GLC )30 years ago no less, BEFORE public transport was fashionable. Ironically he would make a great CEO and I am someone who knows about business.
I am sure he will eat the well fed bullenden boy for breakfast.

tari, London, uk

routemasters dangerous? compared to what, bendy buses? they might be dangerous if you jump on and off at the wrong time, but they are a lot more convenient and far safer for cyclists, pedestrians or for anyone actually sitting on the bus with a conductor and they don't block up the road.

as for traffic-light phasing, ken has rephased them all to bugger up the traffic. undoing that is not about giving pedestrians less time to cross. you just made that up.

the congestion charge is a joke (not to mention it penalises the poor), its expansion unwanted, the charge on 4x4s disgraceful (along with the rise in sleeping policemen and other traffic calming measures). public transport has not improved to the extent you can force people to use it (and it would collapse if they did) and children cannot get safely to school on foot.

meanwhile ken is happy to fly a team of carbonbusters to venezuela to meet a despot, he's a bigot and his team are scammers. I'll take the happy idiot.

jem, london, uk

A balanced and considered article. it is about time that everybody (including Boris' mates in the media) wake up. Boris winning the mayoralty may make a good story, but it would make a terrible city. The best we could hope for under Boris would be only the occasional gaffe, and a general drift of direction. At worst, we could face a series of disasters.

Paddick may well make a decent job of being mayor but let's face facts , he isn't going to get in. The real choice is between Boris or Ken. Londoners have to face reality and give Ken another turn. It may not be ideal (I wouldn't vote him in for a fourth term) but its the best option on the table. Forget about the next GE, this contest will have far more of an effect on Londoners than who is in number 10. This is an important choice and we need to get serious.

Adam Bienkov, London,

I hope Tom in Barcelona is right about Boris leaving his party. I reckon Ken was best in his first term when he stood as an independent. London is too important too be messed about by party politics.

Nobby in Perth also makes a good point. The congestion charge is fine in principle, but Ken should have worked on refining it - relating it to mileage, cutting the huge discount enjoyed by central London residents, extending the area but at lower rates for the outer zones - instead of worrying about "gas guzzlers."

Boris has one brilliant idea which at the moment secures my vote - he'll let us use our mobile phones to find out when to reach the stop just in time for our bus.

Barry, Wallington, UK

"...London does matter and what happens there will affect most British people in some way or other".

Well maybe. But London has long been seen by most of the population as a foreign country. Remember the beer advert where two "alien beings" walk into a provincial pub, and the barman says "up from London are we?" - or didn't they show that in Londonia / Londonistan?
That you're faced with a choice between a slimeball and a buffoon is a huge source of mirth to the rest of us.

Ken Leyland, Liverpool, U.K.

You may think Mayor Livingstone has got most things right but I can tell you one thing he has got catastrophically wrong and that is the conversion of the capital's power requirement to Combined Heat and Power (CHP). In doing so he has increased the city's vulnerability to a European gas peak in 2010 and a global peak not far behind. Their motto of 'greater resistance to supply disruption is provided by providing local energy needs through locally generated CHP' is a myth. This overlooks the fact that gas will be supplied by Russia with their known propensity to shut off the taps and how soon gas reserves will peak.

Alastair MacGregor, Dubai,

It's not Boris's plan to bring back the Routemaster which is reprehensible, but his admiration for total bus deregulation outside London. As a bus user who lives outside London, I can only envy the capital's system of partial bus regulation.

Richard, Leek, England

David after much thought there is one MAN who I would vote for mayor. He is open, strainght forward and stands up for the vulnerabale and against corruption LENNY HARPUR. All the poloticians today look like emotional pygmies. Apologies to the vertically challenged but am only 5 foot 2inchs myself.

Shona Canterbury, Canterbury, England

"...originally thought Ken would be a lousy mayor, always show-boating, always blaming others if things went wrong, always setting up Utopian and expensive schemes that would then collapse. But it didn't happen"

Er, David, which part of Ken's last 8 years have you missed? He is guilty of all of the above, and more. The Congestion Charge is a good example: utopian and expensive, and all but collapsed in name as it gets re-invented as a Carbon Tax.

Nobby Clark, Perth,

You state it as a fact that Livingstone has got all the major issues right. It is merely your opinion.

You are comparing a mayor who's been in power for two terms to a man who has yet to prove himself in that position, however he managed to edit a national magazine, which either takes organisational skills and the ability to meet deadlines, or else the intelligence to hire eithers who can make up for his claimed deficiencies. Bill Clinton was notoriously late for most things and yet managed to run the world's only remaining superpower for several years.

Livingstone is a political animal who can grease his way out of anything and appears plausible to a large number of people including yourself who can't see through him. Johnson may and probably will mess up royally in certain respects, but at least it will be on the surface. Better the devil you don't know.

Jack, London,

"Ken and his silly, petulant battles against Gordon Brown"

I think fighting the imposition of PPP on tube renovation/maintenance was the opposite of silly and not petulant enough, as the UK tax payer is now too well aware.

Mark, London, UK

David, "pooing in the beds", is such vulgarity necessary to depict your point? If so, you have a pretty weak point.

Pauli, London,

Boris has one very important thing in common with Ken. Ken hated the party he was a member of and left it. Boris will do the same with the Tories who he equally disdains. I challenge anyone who knows him well to deny this.

Boris can't bear little Englander Tory knee jerk nonsense. He is a decent, liberal, intellectual. And therefore pretty hopeless all round when it comes to making a career in the vain world of politics.

Tom Bertram, Barcelona, Spain

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David Aaronovitch

David Aaronovitch is a writer, broadcaster and commentator on international politics and the media. He writes for The Times Comment page on Tuesdays. He has previously written for The Guardian, The Observer and The Independent, winning numerous accolades, including Columnist of the Year 2003 and the 2001 Orwell prize for journalism. He has appeared on the satirical TV current affairs programme Have I Got News For You and made radio broadcasts on historical topics