Just emerged from 5 months of a breast-feeding coma. Noone tells you the sheer exhaustion it involves. I gave birth to him, I have milk, he needs and deserves it, but hard, hard work. Hats off to those who refuse to be bullied. Do what makes you happy so baby is too. I began to resent it so stopped

Nadine, London,

ok im 11 yes i dont have ant kids but im not going to breastfeed idea of it disgusts me

emily, uk, uk

i'm expecting my first child - and the idea of breastfeeding disgusts me. i know it's supposed to be "better" - but i also intend to decide for myself, without being bullied or swayed by breastfeeding propaganda. it's my body, my child - and my decision.

lucy, wellingborough, uk

You get more sleep by bottle-feeding?! How do you figure?!

If a woman can't be bothered to have her life and career 'interupted', then she shouldn't have children. Simple. Some women seem to want to have their cake and eat it, at the expense of their children.

It is the epitome of selfishness

Laura, Leicester,

This journalist needs to get her priorities right and think more of her children than her career.

So many mothers here have said 'I couldn't breastfeed'. Only a tiny minority of women can truely not breastfeed; in Sweden over 90% of new mothers breastfeed their babies.

Chris, York,

If people were more honest with themselves breastfeeding would be done by nearly everyone. If you want a full nights sleep and a speedy retreat to work or basically, less responsibility, simply dont have kids! If everything else in your life for you is more important than your childs health development and love then you really shouldn't be thinking about having a family, just concentrate on your career and take it on the chin that it doesnt suit your selfish personality at that time. Being selfish in this regard is not negative, merely honest. Just because you are a woman doesnt mean you have to prove it! Why not be a career person-cant we women just stop trying to do a bit of everything and do fewer things 'properly' .....mmm I wonder where the pressure comes from!

maria, elton, uk

The comments on this subject show exactly why women will always be the weaker sex. So many women saying it's been "proven" that formula is bad and breast milk is good. I would like to see where they got this information from. It seems to be all second-hand info they get from BF advocates. Do any of you women know where, when, how this research was done? Have you read actual studies about breastfeeding? No because if you had you would know that most studies on breastfeeding are inconclusive to the point of not even meeting methodological standards for normal scientific research. Their validity is seriously compromised as It's very difficult to conduct studies that span an entire lifetime for any type of research; so how can it be done on breastfeeding so easily? It can't. Yet here are women not only believing it but accusing others of being bad or selfish if they don't believe it. Believing these studies is a choice, not a fact ,that should be left up to every mother individually.

Lynda, London,

I am just wondering what makes people think that they can determine what is better than what we have been given. Breastfeeding has been proven to be THE best for both the mother and the baby. Also, breastfeeding helps the mother's uterus go back to its original size, and what woman does not want her form back? Plus, if you breastfeed, you do not have to drag around a thousand bottles in the baby bag, then mix the formula while the kid cries his eyes out because he's so hungry, then take the time to sit down and feed him. Breastfeeding simply requires a blanket to cover up in public or just to lay down or sit on the couch at home and let the baby eat until he's done. Why does that seem so hard? Breastfeeding also gives the baby the fat he NEEDS--yes, NEEDS, because babies need to GAIN weight, not go on a diet a day into life!--and provides emotional and psychological bonding for mother and baby. I do not care what people say, breastfeeding is better and MORE convenient than formula!

me, Coeur d'Alene,

I totally agree with G-Medstudent. I had lots of information about breast-feeding, and it all started out well. But I have found over-zealous members of the breast-feeding lobby (who seem ubiquitous) unhelpful, simplistic and counter-productive. Practicality and problem-solving seem to count for nothing among such people. No supplementing with formula, regardless of whether your child is dehydrated and losing weight: no using nipple-shields, even if your child is vomitting blood he is drinking from your cracked nipples. Some of us find breast-feeding harder than others. Do we have to be bullied until we give up breast-feeding altogether, having failed the purist, stupid approach and hang our heads in shame for the early months of our children's lives? Feminism isn't dead - women should cut each-other some slack and stop this single-issue smug behaviour!

Celia Richardson, London,

do your research. breastfeeding doesn't change the shape of breasts, life does. the hormone shifts through life - particularly pregnancy, rapid weight changes (which also occur in pregnancy), exercising without a sports bra, elasticity of the skin, GRAVITY... these all change the shape of breasts. MANY women who NEVER breastfed end up with the unwanted breast changes that kept them from breastfeeding.

maybe your breastfeeding class didn't cover the downs as well as the ups, but it's shared in many classes, and in most research if you take the initiative to look for yourself that breastfeeding isn't easy. but who says life is? are your children not worth the effort? it can be done and is proven over and over again by moms who care to think of their children's health in the long-term and not just the present.

if you ask me, there is nothing more convenient than breastfeeding. but if you see caring for your children properly as a hassle, you shouldn't have children.

Leona, cleveland,

I am infruiated that people think they have a right to criticise mothers own individual preferences - what on earth has it got to do with them?? YES WE KNOW BREAST IS BEST!!!! Its drummed into us mothers every 5 minutes ..... My good lord shoot me down... I dare to give my baby FORMULA.... But she is a very HAPPY, HEALTHY AND BELIEVE IT OR NOT NORMAL.... BABY!! Sure.. I did want to breastfeed - but the simple fact was I COULD NOT .... so what was I meant to do - USE MY HUSBANDS BREATS - Wow if that was the case Formula would be a rare commodity!!

Sarah, hampshire, england

I breastfed both of my children, it was convenient and I did not have to worry about mixing the formula right. It was difficult at start, had to give up at 3 months with 1st child because of mastitis and at 9 months with 2nd because of going back to work. There is a lot of evidence to support the benefit for the child, but I personally found that when breastfeeding I felt totally chilled out, I also had an excuse not to wash-up or do anything because I was busy feeding. I loved it and the benefit to my well being was beneficial to my children.

What the debate needs to consider is that a calm mum makes a better mother and if a mother is stressed trying to breastfeed then she should do what she feels comfortable with and if needed then switch to formula and aim to reduce any feelings of inadequacy (lets not pretend they dont exist) by concentrating on an area she can impact ,such as healthy weaning. Raising a child is holistic.

G-MedStudent, Norfolk, UK

Sadly I haven't time to read all 184 comments.

Melanie McDonagh seemed pleased with the idea that she could go back to work in an office environment, because she didn't have to breast fed. One day, all of us will be lying on our death bed, including Melanie McDonagh. Will you be lying there wishing you'd worked harder, Melanie McDonagh? Will your office co-workers be standing around your bed thanking you for all that effort you gave?

Children grow up and leave home far too quickly. Perhaps you should enjoy them while you can.

NickT, Aldershot, Hants

Interesting that McDonagh refers to her child as "the baby" and that dumping "the baby" and returning to work as a journalist was seen as "getting her life back".

Matt, Chislehurst, Kent

How can anyone be so insane as to believe they can out think our creator? Isn't it really that simple? GOD prepared for the eventuality that you couldn't get to the store. That is why you have breasts.

albert miller, Paterson, NJ

My mother-in-law received her Ph.D. in nutrition for her analysis of human breast milk in lactating mothers. Based upon her findings and what she's related to my wife who has sinced nursed our kids all the way through, there's no question that modern formula is pretty much junk to be reserved for emergencies only.

Scott, Durham, NC, USA

Breast is best, but if the mother isn't enjoying it the baby will pick up on her anxiety and it won't bring the full benefits...chances are the milk won't be as good quality either if the mother is distressed. Better a happy bottle feeding mum than an unhappy breastfeeding one.

Rachel, London,

How many of you pro breast feeding mothers would offer to wet nurse infants of mothers who cannot breast feed.
Breast feeding is not always as easy as is made out. A significant number of women go through hell and find it difficult to feed for various reasons from infections, to lack of milk. They find themselves under constant pressure from the 'breast is best' brigade, half of whom have never experienced parenthood, let alone breast feeding.
Some of the comments here are ludicrous such as Adam from Reading and I quote, 'you'll have no one to blame but yourself if your baby catches a disease and dies.' Holier than thou tripe.....Yes that is right it is best, but not always possible. In our antenatal group probably 20% had problems breastfeeding in one way or another. It was difficult for my wife and she ended up stopping at 8 months because it was too painful. Climb down off your high horses and stop demonising women who have to bottle feed, every parenting experience is different

James, Sheffield,

I am a 25 year old mother of two. My first son who is now four, I breastfed for five months; my second son is 9 weeks and I intend to breastfeed him for 6 months. Breastfeeding demands commitment, especially in the early weeks. With my first son I was in agony at first but once I had overcome that hurdle I found it the most rewarding thing I could of done for both of us. Now, with my second baby it has been so much easier. It is a shame that so many women give up breastfeeding in the early weeks when so many problems asscociated with it can be solved with help of a midwife or health visitor. Once breastfeeding is established you can express milk when you return to work,or just to let someone else feed the baby for you. I have no problem with bottle feeding though. It is entirely up to individuals how they decide to rear their children. However in my personal view breastfeeding is best, it is best for baby, good for you, convinient, free and environmentally friendly.

Becky, Norfolk, UK

Certainly it would be wrong to tar all 'pro-breastfeeders' with the same brush. I was, and am, extremely pro-breastfeeding in theory. Awaiting the arrival of my first baby, I couldn't wait to breastfeed and silently judged all the mothers (including my own) who had failed to meet the 'exclusive till 6 months' recommendation. Clearly they hadn't tried hard enough - afterall, my NHS pregnancy handbook told me breastfeeding was 'an easy and enjoyable experience for most women'. Ha!

I gave up after 8 weeks. I hated myself at first. I was absolutely heartbroken to give up breastfeeding, but that's life. 3 months on, my son is a healthy, happy little boy and I have no doubt that, agonising as it was, I made the right decision for my family. To those who succeeded with breastfeeding, fantastic! But everyone's experience is so different - don't judge. Particularly if you happen to be male - how can you possibly presume to judge any woman on any aspect of her labour or feeding method?

Rachel Lane, Barnet, UK

Reading through the various comments on this article, what is abundantly clear, is that, in the main, the pro breast feeding brigade are a bunch of fanatical, intolerant bullies, who vilify anyone who does not follow their diktat. Any mother who chooses, for whatever reason, not to breast feed, is condemned as, ignorant, selfish or stupid or even, in effect, condemned as guilty of child abuse. No other view but theirs is permitted, hence all choice should be eliminated and any alternative banned, even from being advertised; yet they are indignant when accused of acting like Nazis or fascists. It has been known for years that ‘breast is best’ but that doesn’t mean that alternatives are, therefore, rubbish. It is up to the individual in a free society to make their own choices based on available facts. The interfering busybodies should confine themselves to giving information (without the biased propaganda) to allow mothers to make their up their own minds, and should, otherwise, shut up. The article, by Melanie McDonagh, and her comments on Jordan’s choice, seemed as much about standing up to the bullying purveyors of whatever is the latest orthodox view, as about the choice not to breast feed.

Bystander, Lincoln, UK

I suggest McDonagh gets to know a little bit more about the NCT. The NCT promotes choice, whether it be breast feeding or bottle feeding. The NCT antenatal classes my wife and I attended gave us all the facts we wanted and told us that there would be times when the baby would feed very frequently. They also told us that some women will not be able to breast feed and that some will not want to, we only found support from our local branch (the Chairperson bottle fed her child from birth)! Our two children have both been breast fed exclusively for 5 months and have been bottle fed as well, unlike McDonagh my wife wanted to spend time with our children rather than take the first opportunity to return to work after a week or two. I took my turn doing night feeds by using milk my wife had expressed.
My personal opinion on the advertising is that the Governments of all countries should ensure that parents have all the information they need to make an informed decision.

Brian, Bedfordshire, UK

We were told that if you even breastfeed for 3/4 weeks you have given your child a huge help in terms of their immune system etc.


Surely anyone (who is not very sick after a difficult birth) can get that far? Top up with a bottle if needs be but get some breast milk in. A little bit of effort at that time could avoid you dealing with years of problems caused by food and other allergies, which have risen exponentially in the past 40 years.

S. Quinlivan, Brussels,

To not breastfeed when one is properly endowed and capable is tantamount to child abuse.

Come to grips with the enlarged sweat glands which are the mammaries. They are there for a purpose. Use them!

Scott, Durham, NC, USA

Beth from Manchester, never compare 2 different people even if they are sibblings. It's like saying my aunt smoked for 30 years and she is healthy and another died of cancer when she never smoked in her life. 2 people are different biologically and what they do effects them differently. You say your brother was breastfed and has been sickly and you were bottlefed and are healthy. Had your brother been bottlefed, he may not be around and if you were breastfed, you may be healthier than you are now. Try as you may to convince yourself, human babies were created to drink human milk and a cow's milk are meant for the calf. What do you think will happen if there were no formulas? Mothers would not have a choice but to breastfeed. Now they have an inferior choice and like most sub-intelligient people, they have made the inferior choice. That is fine in the short term but dont say that it is just as good because IT IS NOT. !! Just like smoking, people make bad choices.

virginia, Brisbane, Australia

There is nothing wrong with breast feeding your child I am sick of people being so negative about it. Women have a right to choose to breast feed or not, and for the men out there who think breast feeding is disgusting i would like to see you get pregnant, go through labour and then turn your child away when they need feeding, wake up peolpe not everyone has the means to buy baby formula what about people in third world countries who can't afford it! PLUS BREAST FEEDING HAS GREAT HEALTH BENIFITS!!!

TES, bradford,

So, we now all know that breastfeeding is natural and designd by millions of years of evolution to be the most suitable way of feeding an infant.

We also know that living an active hunter/gatherer lifestyle is natural and the way that millions of years of evolution have shaped adult humans.

Go fgure

Bob, Reading,

does it not occur to anyone that 'Jordan's' implants probably preclude natural breast feeding?

I recently had an e-mail from someone who did not feed her baby 40 yrs ago and therefore suggested that a relative use formula, when she could see there was excessive pressure plus weariness building in the situation. The lady resisted and took the advice as criticism, as do new mothers in those first sensitive,'treading on eggs' days.

I sent a reply to this e-mail pointing out that it would even out as the first few days passed, mainly because the babe was playing 'catch-up' having arrived a few weeks early, and starving, thus needing frequent feeds for a short while. Given his head, he would settle to a routine quite quickly provided she got some rest, practical help with nightime napkin changes, and a brew for herself, whilst she enjoyed actually feeding, then handing him back.
Extra calories, cat naps often, help with older child?

Friend intrigued at pituitry/let down cycle.

Ella Townley, Blackburn, Lancashire, UK

McDonagh, like her colleague India Knight, has serious emotional problems with breastfeeding: some of the language she uses suggests she sees it as a sexual act, and it's not uncommon for women who have a negative body image (didn't Knight used to bang on about how fat she is in a newspaper column on a weekly basis?) or who have psycho-sexual issues, to be uncomfortable with physical acts which might 'desexualise' them in the eyes of men. I pity them for not being able to give their babies the right start in life in spite of all their social advantages, and it's a shame they're in a position where spouting their self-justification in a public arena is an easier option than coming to terms with their psychological ill-health. Let's hope they don't pass their hang-ups on to their daughters.

Clare, Nottingham, Notts

Although bottle feeding clearly delivers a range of important social benefits such as enabling a new mother to go back to work at a time of her choosing and a father to take a more active role in child rearing, at the end of the day any parent's top priority is their baby's health. Therefore, with the exception of mothers who can't breastfeed for health reasons, considering the National Institute of Clinical Excellence, the Department of Health and the World Health Organisation say that breastfeeding is better for infants than bottle feeding, surely the time for debate is over.

Kerstin Doe, London,

We are all influenced by advertising, no matter how intelligent we are, no matter how much we deny it. The NHS does give information on bottle-feeding. It does, however, point out that it is not as good as breast-feeding. That is information, not advertising. Formula manufacturers are only interested in profit: That is their purpose. As to why I breastfed, well that was for 2 very selfish reasons - my mother died of breast cancer and I wanted to do what was best to reduce my chances; the 2nd reason was very simple - having nannied and made up bottles, I really was just too lazy to mess about with them. Yes, I had problems at the start but with the right support from an excellent midwife, I got over them. I loved breastfeeding and feel very sorry for those mums who struggle and don't get the support they need. FYI there are phonelines to ring to get support from women who have been there and know what it's like.

Helen, Darlington, UK

You know what puts me off breast feeding! The way that some women still keep their ''bits'' out after the baby has finished. Or take it for granted to feed their baby where-ever. Most of the experiences I have had are with women who use breast feeding as an excuse for ''Look at me.'' My children were not breast fed and you know what......they are OK and in their 30s now.

smiler, bretagne, France

My eldest daughter didn't put on enough weight when I breastfed her and eventually the health visitor suggested formula - after that my daughter wouldn't go back to the breast. My second daughter was breastfed for what seemed like forever and thrived on it. I really think that this decision should be left up to individual mothers to do what they feel comfortable with and what is best for their child. Surely it is more important for a mother to feel happy whilst feeding her baby in whatever way she has chosen? By all means advise that breast is best if at all possible but why cause so much misery by implying that people who choose not to breast feed are bad mothers. There is so much more to being a mother than that.

Sara, Suffolk,

l totally agree with Joe from Plymouth that breastfeeding is totally disgusting and was never intended for feeding babies in the first place. lt is so obscene to see a baby feeding from its mother. The first priorty is for pornographic movies and also for moves like baywatch and the likes of Jordan (if that a man or what?) That is partly why we have this mentality is because of the introduction of cow's milk, look what happens to our IQ? Breastfeeding should be banned, then at least the pharmacy industries, doctors, dentists can all continue to profit from sickly babies. We can hope that the breast will evolve and will be filled with saline or silicone substance instead of milk then all the breastfeeding mothers will have no choice but to bottlefeed their babies. In fact as a modern woman, men should evolve to also carry the foetus for 9 months in their bellies so that there is total equality for all. But then Joe, you are being sarcastic aren't you? OF COURSE.

virginia, Brisbane, Australia

Heather, I'm glad to read your comment about the poor dairy cows, I so agree. In what other species do the adults drink the babies' milk of another species?! Now THAT is pretty weird!

barbara, Ilkley, UK

Isn't it absolutely hilarious when men talk about women being "too posh to push", referrring to C-sections (try one, they're really fun,boys) and extol the virtues of breastfeeding? If only it could be arranged for just one of these macho types to experience a long and excrutiating labour, followed by painful attempts at breastfeeding. They'd write a book about their heroic suffering!. I am reminded of a male doctor being interviewed on radio some years ago who announced, with, presumably, a straight face "there's no such thing as period pain". Well, right. If you say so.

anne, bournemouth,

As a breastfeeding mother of a 13 week old baby, I have to say that I'm not surpised by the author's comments re 'embarrassment' - any time I have publicly breastfed, it is women who visibly flinch, not men, when they witness me and my son in action. This is really disappointing - it's almost as if they want to keep breasts as objects of desire and provocation, choosing to forget that nature has a predetermined use for them.

I know that some women can't or won't breastfeed, and that it can be and is very hard to get used to at first, but once you and your baby know what you are doing it is so much easier than using a bottle. My son doesn't cry in the night - I can hear him waking up as he is in the same room as us (not all of us are white and middle class, some of us live in small, one bed council flats) and can pre-empt any tears. The satisfaction of seeing him sated and soothed instantly is worth any initial difficulty.

Lucy, London, UK

Breastfeeding is disgusting and I believe psychologically damaging to a child. I mean come on, putting your breast into your baby's mouth?! Think about it. It's pretty perverted and completely unnecessary now that we have other ways. Plus it excludes us fathers from bonding with our children.

Yes yes it's 'natural' but the point of civilisation is to distance ourselves from all that.

Clive, Plymouth,

Also interestingly Sharon ... many women have successfully bottle fed their child , and similarly there is no good evidence to suggest that Breast feeding with implants is 100% safe . In fact it seems that the main finding is that much more research needs to be done on this very subject and this view seems prevalent in every report that i have read .

Benzo, Nr Chelmsford,

Has anyone ever wondered why when pregnant, the breast enlarge and prepare for milk production? The human race would have died out if women are unable to feed their young. To say that one is unable to feed is rubbish. Just say that you dont want to. lf the mother is unwell, going through depression or taking medication, it is understandable that she will not want to feed or will not suceed. But to say that it is as good as feeding from the cows is absolutely ridiculous! The initial discomfort and inconvenience if persisted will soon pass and the mother will soon realise that it is more convenient and beneficial for both mothers and babies alike. The plus points for both are too many to list. Mothers should be encouraged to breastfeed and not to be made to feel inferior. Say goodbye to asthma, ezema and other allergies. Enjoy your baby, soon it will be a distant memory.

mia, Brisbane, Australia

I tried very hard to breastfeed my first child as it was drummed into me that giving formula was like giving my child poison! It all started whilst in hospital, my son would not latch on and therefore after many tears and fighting with a newborn who had not and would not feed from me for nearly 24 hours, I decided to give him a bottle. Once I said those immortal words "Can I please give him a bottle", the midwife attitude changed and I was made to feel as if I had completely failed as a mother. I feel very strongly that this was the start of my post natal depression. I expressed (once my bleeding nipples had healed) for a few weeks as I felt that at least this would be some goodness from me, but the whole experience scarred the first year of mine and my son's relationship. I am now expecting my second child and know that I will do what I feel is best when the time comes. What doesn't help is that my sister is training to be a midwife...umm, I have a feeling we may different opinions!

Vic Sudds, Worthing, England

It is absolutely unforgivable to force upon your child an inferior milk substitute when you are able to feed them properly.

MotherOf5, Kenilworth,

It is all very well for people to say 'let us make our own decisions' but I believe that cow's milk should onlt be used in cases were there is no or little other option. Why?

I do not want to go off onto a different thread but to broaden the debate a little, it's not just the babies health I am considering but the effect formula milk adds onto the environment and on the cows themselves. I'm sure you could find much information about this issue on the web as well as the serious health hazards of giving babies cow's milk that a rarely discussed!

So while you're feeling the pressure of people making you feel guilty about formula milk when you are perfectly capiable of producing milk yourself - just think yourself lucky that you're not a dairy cow being forced to produce more milk than is natural so your breasts almost burst after already having their four week old baby sntched from them!

Heather, Yarm, UK

I beastfeed my child for the first six months, I was 17 and didn't know much about it (this was 24 years ago) other than it would give him the best start in life and protect him from virus. I did it because I had the breasts and he was my baby. Simple really. If I had another child, I would also breat feed. I can think of nothing worse than giving my new born baby chemically made powder that has been 'made' to resemble my own milk, espeically when my own milk is waiting to be drunk.

Kim, London,

Benzo - why do you feel the need to comment on something you clearly know NOTHING about? Many women with implants successfully feed their babies. Implants are usually place BEHIND the milk ducts so don't interfere with breastfeeding and there is no good evidence that the breastfed babies of women with implants have problems associated with their mothers surgery.

Sharon Quinn, London, England

I loved this article!
I think as mothers, we have the right to decide what is best for our babies. Yes, breast is probably best, if you can manage it, even if only for the first few weeks. At the end of the day though, a happy Mum will have a happy baby and if they are starving and colicky on the breast then surely a bottle is the better option.
The same goes for the c-section vs natural birth arguement. Here in South Africa, my local hospital is otherwise known as Ceasar's palace because of its Dr's reputations to favour c-sections. Here, is is almost considered the norm, as so many Dr's think it is a safer option (and it fits in with their golf schedules!).
So each to their own, let us make our own choices. Good parenting is not just about being "au naturelle", its about embracing what miracles babies really are!

Samantha Jankovich, Johannesburg, South Africa

I don't have children, and reading these comments I'm filled with anxiety already! I'm amazed, is it really like this, women are divided like this? How pathetic. I have a feeling men wouldn't judge each other like this!

In the comments it seems that some of the very passionate breast feeders are quite judgemental of the 'non's calling them things like lazy and selfish. The non breastfeeders just seem to be defending themselves and asking to be free to make their own decisions. I haven't seen anyone criticising the breastfeeders for breastfeeding. If I have children I wish to be free to decide for myself what to do. I'd like support and advice if I decide to bf but I DO NOT want 'encouragement' in the making of my descision. It is my business and it is my body, i will do what I want. There are many things that will be better for my child - living on a mountain top breathing in crystal pure air, drinking from a natural spring, avoiding all chemicals - how many of us do all these?

Sophie, london, london

How many bottlefeeding mothers would be horrified at the idea of smoking in front of their children? Or at feeding them on junk food? Why is it 'propaganda' to inform on the well documented risks of formula feeding but useful 'information' to point out the hazards of cigarettes and burgers?

barbara, Ilkley, UK

I was made to feel incredibly guilty when I decided to bottle feed, but as breast-feeding was completely halting any bonding process with my first daughter, it was absolutely the right decision for me. It's hard enough being a new mum without having added pressure from others. New mums also need the correct information in order to aid their decision. Banning advertising from baby milk companies is going to make things a whole lot harder for those who decide to not breast feed. Let people make up their own minds!!

Alex, Buxton, Derbyshire

I have worked in the maternity services for many years and I have never seen nor heard any midwife make women feel guilty regarding her feeding choice - quite the contrary. I consider myself very pro-breastfeeding, however I would not push a women to feed in a particular way - midwives want to see happy, healthy women and babies. I have no right to tell someone how to feed as it not me who is physically doing it. I would fully support them in any decision they make. However the 'information' from formula companies is advertising - you would not consider adverts from any other profit making companies to be information but a sales pitch. I also think the NCT etc do a marvellous job ( I am not a member) and they only speak to people who approach them. And I find comparing midwives etc to Nazis absolutely abhorrent - there is no comparison. They would be castigated if they did not give their support -perhaps they are reflecting their own feelings on health professionals?

helen , scotland,

I am adopted, as is my sister. She was breastfed for six months of her life, and suffered from childhood asthma, excema and was generally a fairly sickly child. I was raised on formula from day one and was absolutely fine. A friend of mine recently gave birth, and suffered from horrendously cracked and bleeding nipples, only to be told by the midwife that if she stopped, her son would be unhealthy and sickly etc. It was only when her husband found her crying with the pain that she felt able to stop. Another friend of mine loves breast feeding, and fully intends to continue as long as she can. Each to her own!!

Emma, Bridwater, Somerset

As a Dad of 3 boys who were breast fed, I agree 100% that new Mums should be left in peace to bond with the new arrival. Once it has been explained that "breast is preferable" there should be NO BULLYING !.

BUT Jordan ? What ? can you really feed a baby on Silicone ?
and this article comes over as just deliberately "in-your-face"

Dave , Penarth, S Wales

Yes L, you can all console yourselves of the "fact" that these women will "probably" feed their children McDonalds everyday despite going through all that breastfeeding malarky. Does that make you feel a bit better? Do have any statistics showing the amount of junk food given to previously breastfed vs bottlefed babies? And how does this in any way detract from the bald fact that breastmilk is far far better for babies in every way than formula? That's right, it doesn't. The breastfeeding 'debate' should not be about the moral credentials of individual women.

Marcella, London,

Breastfeeding is only a tiny part of being a good mother, yet so much emphasis is put on this. My sister-in-law always refers to herself as a good mother because she breastfed both her children until they were a year old. This will no doubt compensate for the fact that she abandoned them a few years later and sees them only rarely. Get a grip, being a good parent is about so much more than how you feed your infant!

G Hawkes, Norwich, UK

no-one seems to have mentioned that breastfeeding is also FREE. Those "disposable bottles" apart from causing waste that may never biodegrade probably cost a few pounds each and with a baby having 8 5-8 feeds a day that is not cheap.

I struggled with breastfeeding both of my daughters now 3 and 5 but with support from an excellent breastfeeding counsellor was able to continue past the initial painful period and had a very satisfying breastfeeding time. I didn't want the cost or hassle of bottles initially.
They both also had formula during the day from 6 months as I was working part time but with each baby I kept up a morning and evening feed until they were one. It may have nothing to do with it but we never have any stomach bugs in our family. (One daughter has been sick once and the other one twice in their entire life.)

Catherine, Exeter, England

Interesting that it is only the male comments on here that highlight the possible practical reasons for Jordan's decision , i.e Silicon implants . It would be wholly irresponsible to breast feed with implants , but for some of the ladies here that doesn't seem to be an issue . Interesting that some even promote the babies health as reason for breastfeeding ... I can only assume that they didn't read the article or are just too busy with their own agenda to give people a fair go .

Benzo, Nr Chelmsford,

You could have bonded with your children some other way, Leigh. Feeding is a mother's job.

Rita, NI,

Nobody publishes the fact women who do choose to breastfeed come under attack from random members of the public when they feed their child in public, noone mentions that they are pushed into corners in restaurants or sometimes asked to leave do they? That they are told to stop because its disgusting and indecent!

I've never seen anyone who formula feeds come under fire and be subjected to that sort of abuse and humiliation! So forgive me if I have no sympathy for Jordan or any other formula Mum for that matter..

Just because I choose to breastfeed and because I think Im giving my child a better start in life (yes, I really am) and that I agree with the NCT that formula should not be advertised does not make me anysort of mafia, fanatic or nazi. Using these terms just adds to the abuse that breastfeeders have to put up with on a regular basis!

Lisa , Ipswich, Suffolk

Personally I think whatever suits the mum is best. I have just had my third baby who is breastfed and bottle fed. My other two were completely breastfed and it was really restricting and they refused to take bottles when I was going back to work. No 3 only has 1 bottle of formula in the late evening which allows me to go to bed and get a few hours kip. Jordan is perfectly entitled to her own opinion, however I do worry about her non- enviromently friendly outlook re: chucking bottles away.

jenny shepherd, kedington, england

Who wants to drink silicone anyway?

David Masu, Zürich,

Sick to death of all the accusations of 'bullying' levelled against midwives and breastfeeding advocates. Challenging the sort of ignorance evidenced by so many of these posts, and challenging the poor practice of health professionals who don't understand breastfeeding or know how to support it is so important and the only way to do it is by breastfeeding advocacy. Mothers having unrealistic expectations of the intensity of the early breastfeeding experience, medical problems with breastfeeding, babies being readmitted with dehydration after poorly managed breastfeeding - breastfeeding advocy is not responsible for these things: ignorance about breastfeeding is! The ignorance of the anti-breastfeeding posts on this board are the strongest argument for stepping up the campaign to promote breastfeeding and challenge the manipulations of formula marketing. And by the way - most women with implants CAN breastfeed. It's women who've had breast reduction surgery who *may* have problems.

Sharon Quinn, London, England

The formula manufacturers are no doubt delighted that the consternation over the product placement in OK has reverted to a heated breast versus formula debate with bottlefeeders asserting their right to choose. and breastfeeders proclaiming the superiority of human milk. This has taken the spotlight off the real issue which is that all mothers, regardless of how they feed their babies, need accurate information founded on evidence based research and not written for commercial purposes.
Strengthening the regulations by banning the adverts will protect mums and babies by ensuring bottlefeeding mums know how to bottlefeed safely and breastfeeding mums will no longer be undermined.

barbara higham, Ilkley, Yorkshire, UK

Well done Melanie and Jordan. Finally some mums who are willing to stand up to the pressure to breast feed. I have lost count of the number of mums I know that have had those early months blighted by feeding difficulties. People should stop jugding people who choose to bottle feed and mums should stop apologising. Early motherhood is difficult enough.

Yvonne McGrath, Oxford,

I am currently awaiting the arrival of baby no 1, and throughout my pregnancy I have found the breast feeding propagnda oppressive and distressing. I too have had the NCT/midwife experience, and have been reduced to tears on several ocasions by both, simply for expressing the view that to combine breast and bottle feeding would allow my husband to become involved in feeding our child too, something he greatly desires.

I have felt so pressurised and bullied by the pro-breast feeding movement that I have come to dread midwife appointments - even at my very first appointment (at 9 weeks pregnant!) I was asked 'you are going to do the best thing and breast feed, aren't you?'. The NHS has provided me with huge amounts of information about breast feeding, but nothing at all about bottle - surely we should be enabled to make informed decisions about how to feed our children, and not demonised for being reluctant to accept the 'breast is the only way' mantra?

Hannah, Newcastle ,

I think "deep-at-heart" all Mothers want to breastfeed their Baby, but sometimes the pain and discomfort wont let them and not being supported by a caring midwife or doctor wont help.
It takes allot of effort to breastfeed for some mothers and you will get the ones that are "to-posh-to-push" types that just wont breastfeed!
But you may be Jordan and if she was on TV breastfeeding, like some mothers, this would of been the best ever advertisement, for something thats only natural!
Jordon or not! to see a breastfeeding Mum is just beautiful!

Charles Linskaill, Edinburgh, UK

You know this formula/advertising issue would be circumvented entirely if formula could just be provided under a generic label in white tins labelled BABY FORMULA - possibly provided by prescription, but in any case at one fixed price and with no brand - same for follow-on milk.

Let the babyfood manufacturers fight it out over the jars and packets (none to be sold to mothers of babies under 6 months of course)

Jane, Lancs, UK

I worked very, very hard at breastfeeding. It was so painful I was almost screaming with every feed. Sometimes the feeds lasted 2 hours but my baby was never hungry. My GP said don't worry it's nothing serious, the baby is just chewing at your breasts.

One night when he was 2 months I was in so much pain we decided to express before attempting formula. He screamed and refused to take the milk.

Luckily after consulting several BF professionals, including a useless NHS BF counsellor, I came across Gill, a wonderful La Leche League lady who saved my son's food supply. She got me to lie on my back and put the baby on my stomach. When he had to find the breast himself, he opened his mouth so wide there was absolutely no pain. I was amazed.

So many women and babies suffer unnecessarily because of poor instruction/medical care.

If so many women didn't find BF problematic they wouldn't feel pressured, or guilty, or that there is a BF mafia out there. It would be a matter of true choice.

Anna, London,

Good for you, your baby dropped out with the minimum inconvenience to your important life and breast shape. It's this type of advanced thinking, with the use of drunken celebrities as role models, that makes this country what it is.

Toby Martin, Bungay, Suffolk

hmm... baby's health or nice pert breasts? Any women who chooses nice pert breasts doesnt deserve the child.

Jamie Brown, Maidstone, England

I hd my daughter 3 weeks ago and she was taken off me and after she was born for no reason so no helped me get her to latch on until 9 hours later by which time she'd stopped sucking everything in sight and refused to latch on, I tried to breastfeed her for 2 days and it where it got to the point where she'd had absolutely nothing so I got my husband to get some formula so she wouldn't starve, she is a happy, contented baby who is loved and that is all that matters, both me and my brother were bottle fed and we turned out ok

claire, barnet, hertfordshire

Emily in London, (posting starting Penny and Sarah) you talk so much sense! It's a balance surely. I tried to b/f my eldest for 10 days before collapsing in an exhausted tearful heap, and that was WITH loads of support. When i gave up, the quality of life for the whole family improved a million per cent. It was the right decision. I b/f my second baby for 11 months with no problems, and yes, it's great..when it works.

This whole debate is absurdly out of proportion. We are lucky in this country to have clean water and a perfectly acceptable alternative to b/f.

Jane, Hampshire, UK

Isn't it amazing that we seem to be the only species on Earth prepared to put milk from another species into our off-spring!
Who knows what goes into cows milk these days.

Brian Wildey, Fleurance, France

Ms McDonagh is entitled to her opinion but please don't trog out the line about being embarrassed which plays right into the hands of certain men and women who regard breasts as simply sexual rather than functional.

By the way, when Jersey was occupied during the war all mothers breastfed. This line that women can't is a nonsense. The bigger issue is that women should be helped to breastfeed and many are not.

CM White, London,

The genuine needs of a baby do not include breast feeding. As any mother knows, there are other significant ways to bond with a child. A genuine need for a baby DOES include receiving the proper nutrition. That can be delievered via bottle or breastfeeding. The advantages a baby receives from mother's milk as opposed to bottle formula are just that--advantages. It's misleading, judgemental, and quite silly to seriously suggest that bottle feeding will lead to unfortunate outcomes for one's baby. Countless, I do mean countless happy, healthy , successful adults walking around today were bottle fed. New parents have many , far more important things to to be concerned about when it comes to caring for their children.

F. Durrer, Alexandria, VA/ USA

There's nothing more divisive than the old breastfeeding issue is there? Both sides can always turn things round in order to support their argument.

I have seen people struggle so much with breastfeeding that it wasn't worth it for them or the child. And this has to be taken into account.

Just to dispel a few myths though. I found that the best way to get your figure back after childbirth was not crash dieting but breastfeeding. I was back in my size 8 clothes six weeks after giving birth. And my breasts have not suffered remotely from a year's breastfeeding. They are now sitting pertly in their 34A bra again. It didn't curtail my life in any way - it made it easier as there was always milk, no sterilising to do, no planning ahead. I went back to work full-time too, nipped to the childminder's at lunchtime to feed my child and fed him exclusively for a year.

Sure it's not easy at the start, but with a little bit of perserverance and support, it is very rewarding.

Liz, Reading,

"A midwife told me that fish eyes are put in formula. I don't know if this is true, but this sort of comment makes mothers like me feel very guilty" says Mirren Thompson.

I knew one breastfeeding enthusiast who would drink a glass of beer most afternoons because she found it made the baby sleep well.

cam, uk,

Breast feeding is a very old problem. In less affluent times, so many mothers who cannot breast feed would have had to let the infants live on cow's milk, or nothing. It is rarely admitted that breast feeding is a physical gift, or trait, and apart from tiredness, stressful lifestyle (and what is more stressful than a new baby?!) making unsuitable or insufficient milk,cracked nipples etc are the main reason for taking to the bottle.

Those who to whom breast feeding comes easily should have more imagination and sympathy for those who cannot feed, always in the majority.

a dahn, bangor, n.i.

I absolutely adored breastfeeding my children. It was rather like an extension of pregnancy - that connection. I grew them inside me and continued to grow them outside. I just loved that I alone could provide everything they needed food and comfort wise for so long from my short-arsed 4'11" body. It helped me shed my weight gradually and healthily from everywhere but my bosom! =] I'm certain it contributed to their being such secure, tender teens and pre-teens now. Never felt so womanly and beautiful in my life than when I was pregnant and/or breastfeeding. Fantastic. I sing its praises whenever I can because I hate to think of any woman or baby missing out due to the sometimes testing first few days. Relaxing is the best advice I can give.

Buying some powdered substitute in a tin just wouldn't cut it for me anyway.

Val, Gywnedd,

" I have to say that I am constantly shocked at how much pro-breastfeeding propoganda is thrown at mothers-to-be." Ian, Oxford.

Propaganda? If by propaganda you mean plain facts based on raw biology that inform mothers-to-be that they can supply their babies with the best source of nourishment possible without spending a penny if they just put the effort in then bring on the propaganda!

"Pro-breastfeeding propoganda [sic]"... that really is a new one on me.

Sara, Bethesda,

Any intelligent woman who thinks Jordan is a suitable role-model in ANY sphere of life needs her head examined, if you ask me.

Jenny Jonas, Glasgow,

Although I'm not yet a mother myself (and may not decide to have children), I'm endlessly amazed by the way in which mothers give each other a hard time about their parenting choices - presumably to valid their own, opposing, choices.

Give each other a break! There is NO one 'right' way to raise a child. Breast-feeding suits some people, and not others. The aim of the game is giving a baby adequate nourishment, surely? Both milk sources produce well-fed babies. Mothers who choose to breastfeed are not all hippy earth mother types. Mothers who choose to bottlefeed are not all selfish career women who prioritise their figures over their baby's health.

Why don't you all try minding your own business and being a little more confident in your own choices, so you don't feel the need to be quite so critical of anybody different to you? You're all giving women a bad name when you carry on like this.

Jacq, Letchworth, Hertfordshire

Claire: so the point you're making is that 1) Lots of parents who breastfeed are complacent and smug 2) Breastfeeding doesn't protect children against illness 3) Promoting breastfeeding is the same thing as demonising women who formula feed.

Actually Claire, nobody is stupid enough to think that the 'only thing that matters' when it comes to raising children is whether you breastfeed or not. Being strongly pro-breastfeeding doesn't automatically make you complacent or smug or judgemental of other people, just like being strongly pro-formula feeding doesn't make you a bad mother. I don't know anyone who claims to be a 'good parent' based on the simple fact that they breastfed their child and I don't think you do either. Why do you feel the need to label people in this way? Do you think that polarising the argument along personal lines is helpful? This is just another way of smearing breastfeeding advocacy and discrediting the motives of those people involved in it.

Sharon Quinn, London, England

I find it amazing no one has mentioned the fact that after many of these mothers have done the 'best' they will probably then feed their child junk food for the rest of their childhood. A much greater evil.

L, England,

Despite the fact that it is sometimes painful (you do wince when they first latch on) I enjoyed breastfeeding my two children. It provided really lovely time with them, which was very special and I'm glad I could do it. I can see that formula can be more convenient, less embarassing (I wasn't personally embarassed to breasfeeding in public, but some of my friends have been) and anyone can feed with a bottle. However, I do think there are pluses to breastfeeding which perhaps aren't mentioned, such as it being a very emotionally intimate and special experience. I also found my babies never really cried for food as at the first whimper, I could feed them so they were never howling for food. I don't feel strongly that everyone should breastfeed, I have friends who have chosen not to as well as those who have found it difficult, but it seems a shame to stop for work or saggy breasts, it's for such a short time in your life that you have something unique to offer your baby.

Mumoftwo, Exeter, UK

To all you women who demonize artifical milk, I would like to say: good for you if your children were breastfed, but don't patronize women who use artifical milk! I gave birth to a premature baby who would not be here with us without the substitute, thank you very much! As regards my milk "production", no matter what the amount of water I drink everyday is, the amount of supplement I take to increase the milk flow I ingest, the amount of hours I spend stimulating my nipples with the "milking machine" and the delirious pride and happiness I felt while breastfeeding my baby, I could only raise a bleeding hamster family, so I am very very happy I can still complement my kid with the artificial stuff!!!

Stephanie, Paris, France

OK - could all those breastfeeding advocates who believe women shouldn't be allowed to choose how they feed their babies stand up? And what about all those pro-breastfeeding advocates who feel that women who choose not to/can't breastfeed should be publically shamed for not breastfeeding? Anybody?

Please, please, please can everyone stop talking as though being pro-breastfeeding is the same thing as being 'anti choice'. It's not. It never has been. I've never met a breastfeeding advocate who has argued that women should be denied the choice as to how they feed their baby, or be left unsupported to bottlefeed, if this is her choice. I can't believe the number of posts here that refer to pro-breastfeeding being 'anti choice'. Where's your evidence? And what on earth would be the mechanism for denying women of the choice as to how they feed their babies?

Sharon Quinn, London, England

I am amazed by all the negative comments about the NCT. This cannot be the same organisation whose volunteers provided me with endless support, both with breastfeeding and in adapting to life as a new mum.

I've now been involved with my local branch for 6 yrs, organising drop ins and support groups for new mums (all mums, not just breastfeeders) and I'm now training as a breastfeeding counsellor. As one of thousands of NCT volunteers I feel gutted to be referred to as a "breast milk nazi"! I cannot over-emphasise that NCT policy, and counsellor training is about support, not passing judgement on anyone - we are not anti formula, we just believe mums are entitled to support and information to make informed decisions. Unlike a lot of our critics we try to provide this support by training hundreds of volunteers for a min of 2 years to become breastfeeding supporters, but we also feel that parents should not be put under commercial pressure - advertising is not information!

Catherine, London, UK

'Being selfish' 'can't be bothered', putting own needs before that of the child' 'your fault for not breastfeeding if your baby dies' -what fantasy world are you inhabiting? 'Natural'? throughout history, there have been so many attempts at 'artificial' feeding. How many mums gladly handed their babies to the wet-nurse after struggling with sore breasts? Now here's a provocative statement for you - I HATED BREASTFEEDING! Within hours of giving birth and breastfeeding, I had swollen, cracked, bleeding nipples. Depressed, in agony, I cried at the prospect of each feed. After several days, during which my baby lost weight, I put her on a bottle, the world didn't end, and I bonded with her at once. Some staff made me feel like a criminal - so I discharged myself and came home to the most wonderful support from my husband. Bottle feeding was convenient and easy. Oh - and not only are both bottle-fed daughters healthy, high achievers, my husband and I are proud to call them our friends.

Anne, Blandford, dorset

Melanie McDonagh does not mention the greatest benefit for the mother - prevention of breast cancer.

The longer women breast-feed the more they are protected.

Short duration of breast-feeding is a major contributor to high rates of breast cancer.

John Doherty, Vienna , Austria

Breastfeeding has positive implications for the mother too. Women who breastfeed have a lower chance of developing certain cancers in later life. Also breastfeeding helps shed the extra weight. After breastfeeding my baby I weighed less than before my pregnancy. However, after being given the facts it should be each woman's choice whether to breastfeed or not.

Robyn, Buckhurst Hill,

To all the women who chose the bottle because it suites your lifestyle better, (not the women who have no choice) I feel very sorry for your children. They have only just come into the world and your first message for them is 'mummy comes first.' Then again as long as you can watch big brother who cares right...

sam, birmingham,

Of course it is possible to work and breastfeed! I have been doing both successfully for nearly four months now, having returned to work part-time when my baby was six months old. He has a morning and an evening feed and it works perfectly well.

Breastfeeding is by far the lazy mother's choice. No sterilising, no bottles, and no sleep-walking downstairs in the middle of the night. I have breastfed everywhere and have never, ever, experienced any negative comments from anyone. I find nothing convenient about carrying bottles when I have my own, temperature controlled storage vessels within my nursing bra.

Rebecca, Warwick,

wanting "the liberation of women from the constraints of their own biology" is the most un-feminist comment i've ever heard! don't you see a contradiction in women wanting to be liberated of their womanhood? that is anti-woman, not feminist at all!

lexi, manila, philippines

It seems like there are only two camps - it is very black and white. Either we campaign strongly for breast feeding as it is the Only Holy way or we protect our jobs, boobs and sleep with bottle. There seems to be no middle ground. Why having a child and making decisions about him/her has become so political and argumentative. You fed your baby formula? Good for you and her, why not - but your reasons sound very you-oriented and I didn't find many reasons why it is better for your child...

Marta, Prague,

I agree with you about Jordon and breast feeding in general. As a mother of a very healthy, vibrant six and half month old baby girl, who was bottle fed almost from the day she was born, I am very bored by all the breast feeding hardliners. What these people fail to understand is that it isn't that easy to breast feed and for some people it is just impossible. Not everyone is capable of doing so and I for one preferrred to have a happy, well-fed baby right from the start rather than a grizzling child and me all anxious about how much she'd taken in. I tried to get her to feed but she really wasn't interested. As I was also bottle fed and did very well on it indeed, I don't feel that I'm letting my daughter down whatsoever by bottle feeding her. Also I don't understand why breastfeeding is made out to be the most important part of being a mother. I'm still quite new to the job but it seems to me that there is an awful lot more to it than that.

Hazy, London, UK

I agree whole-heartedly! Well said!

I have not had children myself, but do people not think that women have better things to do with their lives than spend half their lives being a human version of dairy crest!

I overheard a conversation in work recently, a male colleague with two children over the age of five was talking to male another colleage who's wife is due to give birth in the next few weeks. Male colleague number one said 'Do make sure she breast feeds won't you', it just angered me so much. Like don't give the woman any choice!!!

I was raised on cow's milk and formula, I have had fantastic health all my life, excellent bone structure, overall very healthy. I don't get what all the fuss about breast milk is, it certainly isn't the end all and be all.

Angela Whelan, Cambridge,

Speaking as a Mom who has b'fed 2 EXTREMELY large and hungry babies, and is considering having a 3rd: I did it because I loved them, and wanted to do what was best. I felt enormous pressure to breastfeed...almost as if the hospital was going to kick me out on my ass if I didn't give it a go. Will I do it again? Yes. But not because I believe that I need to do it in order to bond with my baby, and that that is impossible to bond without breastmilk. Being the sole source of nutrition for a very small couple of someones was a LOT of pressure and the NHS, despite being officially listed as a B'feeding friendly employer, isn't. Some of the best Moms I know have opted for the bottle for a lot of reasons, and their little families have been better off because they were no longer stressed out of their minds/feeling like failures. Being a Mom is hard enough without someone making you feel like a failure when your child is 3 days old...

Mary, edinburgh, scotland

Wow, great mother you sound...selfish to the end....its hardly a chore surely to feed the baby yourself is it? Its easy to roll over and breast feed the baby half asleep, than it is to fuss about getting bottles warmed up.
Breast feeding is better for baby, its fact, not fiction...and if you wanted a baby so much, why dash back to work so soon? You coem across as selfish and uncaring, but thats just my opinion.

Sarah, Herts,

I was not breast fed. Something which my mother feels guilty for - 20 years on. It was a matter of not being able to as her nipples were inverted meaning the pain was immense and that the milk got stuck, blocked the tubes and got infected everytime she tried. I am not unhealthy, I was not a sick baby, i am not over weight and my brother is the same so if the formula milk that i was brought up on is that bad, why have a turned out ok? This is such a pointless argument fair enough there may be benefits but is it really something that is worht all this arguing? As long as children grow up fir and healthy then there should be no problem!!!!!! Either method gives children the necessary nutrition. Do which ever feels right!

Lisa, berkshire,

breast or bottle you should do what is best for your own baby. I breast feed and work - i express milk each morning for my baby to have during the day, its easy and i think going back to work is often used as an excuse so women can give up breast feeding. Breast feeding is easy (although was v hard for me at first) and convenient for me and my lifestyle. I agree midwives can be "nazis" about it; but they can also make it very difficult - my baby was labelled a problem feeder at just a few hours old, he was just tired not hungry!
We need more women in the public eye being positive about breast feeding!

Melissa Wright, Chipping Norton, UK

In response to those who say that they think breastfeeding is more convenient and less time consuming than bottles - I disagree. The reality for me meant being stuck in a chair for 45 minutes at a time every two hours (across the WHOLE day) whilst my son leisurely snacked and snoozed alternatively.

Formula/Bottles you can prepare in a flash when you know the drill and my baby at least drinks the lot quickly, burps and then is satisfied for up to three hours - precious time to ensure their other needs are met, let alone mum's need for sleep and eating (yes I know selfish mummy for needing sleep and food).

Brenda, Bedford,

Again - please, focus on the issues here. Mum's are not all about getting back to work. If I didn't work my family would lose the very modest roof it has over its head and we'd end up in a council house claiming benefits. Perhaps the 'full-time childcare is bad, formula is ok' advocates here would be happier if I did that - but I'm not prepared to let that happen and work hard to avoid it. I'd kill to be at home with my 18 month-old daughter and not out working.
For the record: the above is not a class-based dilemma: it's one faced by every family I know and is mostly to do with the fact that few people can afford to pay the mortgage out of just one salary.

Sue, London, UK

Whats amazed me about the comments is thtat when it comes to breast feeding its an exact science i.e all women can do it! Everything else around the human body is variable, look after yourself you wont get cancer - kids do? keep fit you won't have heart attack - how many healty sports individuals do?....etc.etc..my wife cried for a long time after the midwife (on sporadic visits) decided that my sons heath was been affected by lack of nourishment hence the jaundice....advice from said midewife...get some SMA before we take him back to A&E!!! Some women want to, some women can, some women don't, some women can't, the reason why they do/don't are a lot more complicated than adverts!!!

Fax, Halifx, UK

Melanie McDonagh clearly feels she made the best choice for her family by choosing to bottle-feed. Why she then has to so vigorously defend that choice I don't know. To do so in an article peppered with innaccuracies and misleading facts about breastfeeding is both irresponsible & poor journalism.

It is of course possible to breastfeed and return to work, either by mix-feeding, or by expressing breastmilk. Many women do.

Oh and by the way, I believe Jordan's child Princess is a girl.

Fiona, Glasgow, UK

Thanks Melanie for this article. Most mums I know were overjoyed when they started bottle feeding their babies for all of the reasons you cite.
However this is only something that can be admitted behind closed doors as every mother is being made to feel terribly guilty about the whole thing.
It is not selfish for a mother to want some independance from her child and it is not putting your childs health at risk. As statistics show most children are on the bottle by six months old and I'm sure you medically can't tell the difference between bottle fed and breast fed babies in a class of 5 year olds.

Jane S, London,

I have to say that I am constantly shocked at how much pro-breastfeeding propoganda is thrown at mothers-to-be. This then creates a feeling of guilt and inadequacy for mothers that (for whatever reason) can't\don't breastfeed. That isn't healthy. Surely we want happy mothers rather than guilt-ridden ones. Heaven knows bringing up a baby is hard enough.

Whenever anyone questions breastfeeding they always have to try to justify their position like it's a sin not to breastfeed.

I'm pro-choice - let mothers decide for themselves what's best for them and their baby.

Ian, Oxford, UK

There is a reason why the FSA and the Department Of Health recommend Breast feeding; It is the baby's right to be breastfed - it is natural, sterile+has a changing composition according to the growing baby's needs.
I'm not sure Jordan is the best role model but sadly she is worshipped by many future teen mums- remember Harvey's condition is due to her ignorance during the pregnancy.
Modern society forces women back to work - but there are some who are ignorant on the benefits of breastfeeding and how to fit it in with their lifestyle. Don't berate those who advocate breastfeeding. It is clear that the unhelpful comments above have been made by those who don't really know much.
One does not need to measure milk intake -Baby's feed on demand - they take in what they require.
I'm guessing David has unresolved issues of his own...
Clearly some women have to use formula - it should not be glorified; it should be remembered that it is an alternative.

Fathima, Croydon, UK

Mothers don't (and say they "can't") breastfeed because they're not supported enough in the early days post partum. They're often too busy to relax and take the time.
Of COURSE we're designed to sustain our babies beyond birth - with our own magnificently capable bodies no less!

Those who simply can't be bothered are in a different class altogether. Basically they lack the capacity to parent unselfishly. In many cases they often also lack education.

Anne, Wellington,

My Mummy breastfeeds me and I love the special times we have together. Daddy isnt left out either, he winds me afterwards which means I get a cuddle with him too! Mummy and Daddy have tried to give me a bottle with Mummy's milk in but I dont want to drink out of it, I prefer a proper booby cuddle!

I love that Mummy is giving me her special milk to make me a big strong boy and to protect me from nasty things that might hurt me.

I love that I dont get a milk beard like some of my friends do when they have milk in a bottle! It looks very messy and also alot of my friends get poorly tummys, Im not sure why!

Joe, 9 weeks old, Ipswich, Suffolk

Feminism has destroyed a baby's chance of being breastfed. Why did you even bother having a baby??

diane whittingham, Meifod,

Melanie McDonagh taking the path of least resistance again. Instead of a considered piece of journalism questioning why so many women are not able to/choose not to breastfeed beyond the early weeks. She serves up her own, not very illuminating, anecdotal experience to fuel the war between the 'Formula Fanatics' and the 'Breastfeeding Bullys'. This tired, boring, unproductive polarisation of the issue hasn't ever helped anyone make an informed decision on how to feed their baby. Most women know that breast milk is the best nutrition for their baby, but they also know that getting enough practical help, support and encouragement to breastfeed successfully is a completely different matter. Perhaps if Melanie was able to look outside her own experience and put in some hours volunteering at her local breast-feeding drop-in, she might find something more eloquent to say.

Netanya Phillips, Worthing, West Sussex

Oh, you ignorant people.
As WHO states, breastmilk is best for babies up to 2 years old.
You say that your kids are very healthy and very advanced for their age... imagine what kind of geniuses they would be if only they had been breastfed!

And in fact... bottle fed babies are not more relaxed than breast fed... au contrair... they are more tense because they don't have as strong a bond with their mother... and babies up to 3 years old really only need their mum. It's not untill after the age of 6 that the father is REALLY important for a childs development.

Bottle fed babies are also more inclined to develop food alergies and they are more timid then the breast fed ones.

Giving up on breast feeding so you can be 'free' is shelfish and shows that you have no respect for the little child you brought into this world.
I pitty you.

Andrea, Reykjavík, Iceland

My first baby was born 6 weeks early. I spent 3 weeks in hospital. I followed the advice of the hospital and breast fed her from birth. She was home for less than 48 hours before having to be rushed back in - the milk I was producing was of such poor quality that she became seriously ill, her heart was struggling to cope. I also had borderline pnd by that point. I stopped breastfeeding and switched to formula feeding and it was like someone had flicked a switch, she started to gain weight, became awake and alert. It was like a dark cloud had been lifted for me and I did not go on to develop pnd. As for her health - she hasn't seen a GP since.

Our second child is due later this year. Will I be breastfeeding? No, Absolutely not. Not only did it nearly kill my first baby it almost destroyed me emotionally, so yes I am one of the lazy, selfish women who is going to take the easy way out. Sorry to all the pro breastfeeders, but its my right to choose. My body, my child, my choice.

Jane, stevenage, uk

All this talk about breastfeeding gives the impression that giving a child a good 'start' is all that matters.

I know many parents who trumpet how long they feed their children - who are now eczema clad mini rhinos. And yet they claim to be good parents - simply because they breastfed ... er once. (Or is that being good girls for society).

A parent I know (yes I know it's anecdotal - ye who live in the world of statistics), who's child had yards of intestine removed wailed at me, ' You bottle fed yours and they are as fit as anything - I breastfed till the child was 18 months'.

Nurturing a baby is all about doing your best, as far as you can. Melanie has been extremely honest and unafraid to say that I've formula fed all my children, on demand. All three are slim, fit and extremely happy and healthy.

I'm just saying that children need nurturing right up until adulthood - and demonising mothers who formula fed skews the picture of what constitutes 'good' parenting.

Claire, Plymouth, Devon

It seems to me that this article illustrates the rather sad perception that children are no more then an inconvenience to be farmed out to somebody else at the earliest oppotunity.

You don't "get your life back quicker" if you formukla feed. That is such a myth. Babies don;t need les looking after because they drink formula milk. In fact, formula feeding is far more of a bind because youi have to wash up bottle and sterilse them, not to mention boiling ater and making up feeds (and who want to do that at 3am with a bawling aby in the background???)

I have no problem with formula feeding (both of my sons were given formula at some time) but this sort of baloney really gets my dander up.

This comment "Mothers, I fancy, have other, better things to do with the time they spend not breast-feeding." makes me incredibly sad. The first weeks of your babies life are so fleeting and precious, why not just enjoy the natural bonding feeling you get when you feed them, breast or otherwise.

Shelly O'Doherty, Bath, UK

There is no debate about the benefits of breastmilk versus formula. We all know that- What seems to be up for debate is the question of how formula milk is an expression of the great 21st century plague -The culture of selfish convenience. 13 months still breastfeeding, working from home, partner thinks my breasts are just as gorgeous and sexy as before and never used formula- it can be done. Jordan's lifestyle doesn' t suit (her) breastfeeeding - anti depressants, too large implants, promtional tours,etc so let her get on with her second rate choices. Do today's women really look to her for any sort of guidance? As far as I can see it's a big PR stunt and some people are laughing all the way to the bank.

I am more concerned about the children in developing countries where the infant formula companies are responsible for the deaths of at least 1 million babies a year (according to Sunday's newspapers).

Sharon Farnum, Edinburgh, United Kingdom

I loved breastfeeding; the oxytocin feeding rush, the closeness, the liposuction effect on fat... but it was hard work!

Hard remembering to drink enough fluid to sustain two; hard keeping supplies up when I returned to work part-time (and yes, some of us have to work to pay that mortgage) because when are you supposed to express without compromising the next feed? At work in the loos? In the middle of the night? It was hard avoiding the sharp baby teeth that came through at 3 months.

It was hard was hard not being 'me' anymore when every other compromise was being made: sleep, time, income, relationship (leaky boobs don't make great bed companions).

So thanks all you guys taking the time to berate mums who choose a sense of self, not over the health of their babies, because data shows that's not so, but because modern life has given us a choice.

I guess there will always be people out there who resent modern women having a choice. Clearly not just The Taleban and Islamic extremists

Abbi Rouse, Guernsey, UK

I have to add my voice to the pro breast feeding group. It is hard work and does not also happen as naturally as we'd like but is so much more benificial for mother and baby than bottles. Jordan should realise what a huge role model she is for new young mothers and how irresponsible she has been.

Sue, Henley-on-Thames, Oxon

As a 19year old mother who breastfed her son for over a year im shocked at this article, when you have a child its all about whats best for them and you shouldnt care about yourself you have a bigger priority and responsibilty than worrying about than the shape of your breasts, please stop being so self centred, its an easy and sensible choice to breastfed and to be honest i would feel embarssed buying baby milk for any of my children in the future!

Tiffany , britain,

If a mother thinks that breastfeeding is the way to go. Fine. If a mother has various reasons for choosing bottle feeding that she believes outweigh the perceived benefits of breastfeeding. Fine.

Why do so many of us want to make decisions on behalf of others?

Take care of yourself and your family and offer advice if it is requested but do not force your beliefs on others. The Crusades are over.

(I think it is more important that all babies are actually fed rather than the container that provides it)

Mitch, London, UK

Not every mother is a good milker. In Jordan's case, the implants may make it difficult.

Frank Upton, Solihull,

The formula companies will be laughing up their sleeves that the spotlight has been turned away from them, while the public reverts to an emotive breast versus bottle debate. The real issue is that all mothers and babies need protection from commercial pressure. Mothers are undoubtedly influenced by advertising - it pervades our entire culture - every time you see a photo of a baby story in the news it has a bottle or a dummy. The slick presentation of the 'educational' material that comes from the formula companies compared to the more rough and ready websites and leaflets written by the true experts.clearly illustrates that there is no money to be made by breastfeeding.

barbara higham, Ilkley, Yorkshire, UK

I pity these babies, only 2 weeks old and mother has had enough. Can't wait to abandon ship for a 5am start at the office. To 'get your life back'? Why have any kids if it's so interminable? How desperately selfish.

Heather, Reigate, Surrey

How refreshing to see an article from another mother who breast & bottlefed. Sometimes is feels like motherhood is polarized into those who "do" and those who "bottle". I'm sure there must be many, many more of us who muddled along somewhere in between.
I disliked breastfeeding. I am profoundly grateful that formula milk was available, when after 3 months I was ready to stop breastfeeding. I did feel I was making an informed choice. I had attended NCT classes, spoken to a breast-feeding counsellor and had reviewed all the formula available on the market. I gave my children the best I could for as long as I chose to & then felt glad they could have something else instead!
We should be able to choose either way, without castigation or vindictive judgementalism from anyone else.

Fiona, London, UK

The Breast Milk Nazis are really starting to annoy me... I, my family and my daughters have all been raised on bottled milk for various reasons. My wife chose not to breast feed simply because she didnt want the stress or the inconvenience that befalls those who succumb to the overtures of the BMNs!!! incidentally, all of my family are very healthy, my daughters in fact are very advanced for their years in terms of growth, intellect and many other facets you may care to mention... Breast Milk may have some qualities that formula lacks but it clearly does not mean your baby will be missing out in any way or be in any way adversely affected... In fact, bottle fed babies are more relaxed, they sleep better and so do the parents, it also allows the father to create an early bond, all of which are critically important to a child's development... Fight back people! make your own decisions!!!!

Leigh Simmonds, Cardiff,

It is a scandal that the Government spends such a small amount on promoting breastfeeding. But don't blame that on the formula manufacturers. My wife breastfed both our children (for 4 and 8 months), and they both have eczema. Why... because they inherited it from me. Nothing to do with