Giles Whittell
The man, the films, those blondes. Free DVD collection starting this Sunday
One — no, two! Yea two at once in one/ Great city: titans of the screen who play/ On splint'ry planks, in velvet, hissing spit/ As if time had congealed four centuries past.
What rapture. Two big Shakespeare shows with film stars in them clamour for our attention, and we and our dear readers, and two theatres and several dozen actors and Ticketmaster (most of all) are suddenly like pigs in high-class literary merde. And I cannot stand it.
This is an article that my brother, who writes plays for a living, has begged me not to write. Well, sorry mate. Its time has come.
The gist of it is that nothing — not spoilt children nor even the staggering hypocrisy of Meredydd Hughes, the 90mph South Yorkshire Chief Constable — so o'erwhelms my sanity and clouds my better nature with the dark red mist of rage (and poisons what might have been a prose style to call my own) than William bloody Shakespeare.
I have nothing against the man himself, or whomever he hired to sit around churning out endless neo-Tudor histrionics. It was clearly nice work for those who got it. And I bear no grudge against Ewan McGregor (Iago at the Donmar) or Sir Ian McKellen (King Lear at the New London). If they can remember the words and afford the pay
cut, the very best to them.
It's the plays I loathe, and the orgiastic groupthink that drips from every one of them; the industrialised, irresistible consensus; the greatness thrust upon them by brainwashed English teachers, polished with coach vomit and fish-and-chip fat on every school trip to Stratford, mindlessly reaffirmed by every A-level English examiner, and worshipped with world-class, awestruck claptrap by academics and directors from Stanford to Irkutsk.
I have tried, so help me God, to fight through the sheer opacity of Shakespeare's language to establish what in Heaven's name is going on in his damned plays. I think basic plot awareness matters. It brings an entry-level appreciation from which, apparently, bliss follows. But my hopes of keeping up have always been dashed within a scene or two by simple confusion, curdling via frustration, shame and boredom to cold anger by the blessed final curtain.
Actors never help, since their only two options are to be self-consciously Shakespearean or — even more preposterous — somehow contemporary, apeing (or being) Kenneth Branagh, as if modern conversational cadences when talking about love and death in iambic pentameter were the most natural thing in the world. They aren't. They are ridiculous. You want contemporary love and death? Try the great Mexican telenovela Los Ricos también lloran.
I believe there are three main reasons why Shakespeare has acquired immunity from the big, loud puncturing he deserves. He is, first, out of copyright — perfect for schools and am-dram but also professional theatre companies and movie studios wanting to lay spurious claim to a “great script” without paying anyone or tangling with the strike-prone Writers' Guild of America.
The second reason is the academic compulsion to fill the literary- historical void between Cheerful Chaucer and the true, protean genius of Dickens. Shakespeare sticks out, for purple prolixity if nothing else, like an impenetrably forested atoll at the fag end of the 16th century.
Thirdly, the post-industrial bourgeoisie needed a canon of secular scripture whose base obsessions they shared and whose entirely non-prescriptive world view they could agree on. Shakespeare, cloaked in reassuringly antique language, fitted the bill, and loyalty to his greatness became tribal.
His defenders say he repays study. As does the Highway Code, on so many levels. I have no objection to Shakespeare being taught in schools as long as pupils have a statutory right to diss him without being marked down for their dissent.
They also say that Shakespeare, not Dickens, was the true genius. Wrong. He filched most of his stories from the ancients and English history. That took care of content. As for form, he was a dedicated follower of fashion. Everything from the five-act structure of King Lear to the soporific dum-de-dum-de-dum of its monologues was borrowed. With so many of a writer's decisions made for him, it would have been bizarre indeed if he hadn't turned a florid phrase or two.
Shakespeare isn't terrible. He was a decent, jobbing wordsmith chosen by accident of history as a vessel for the projected yearnings, every bit as intense as his own, of succeeding generations. He was literature's Brian (as in Life Of). If he were alive today he'd be a copywriter with a blog.
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"the soporific dum-de-dum-de-dum"
It will be of vanishingly tiny importance to you, Mr. Whittell, but by and large it goes, 'dee-DUM dee-DUM dee-DUM dee-DUM dee-DUM'.
A friend who pointed me in the direction of your essay (and with friends like that who needs enemies?) wrote this:
"It reminds me of a comment in Dr. Kildare over 40 years ago:
KILDARE (Richard Chamberlain): How do you figure out a guy like that?
DR. GILESPIE (Raymond Massey): You don't.You have compassion!"
David Duff, Milborne Port, UK
I realized when reading this article that maybe the fact that you in Britain have to read and analyze these plays in school distorts your perception of Shakespeare and makes you think he is more difficult than he is. English is not my first language but despite this I've found the plays of Shakespeare to be neither obscure nor difficult to understand. In fact what draws me to these plays is that they seem to contain characters, emotions and situations that most people can relate to in any century.
However I have seen quite a lot of Shakespeare on stage in the UK and have noticed quite often (especially at the history plays) when looking at people in the theater that they seem to have some difficulty following the play. Maybe they are not really 'hearing' it because they expect to be very difficult and aloof?
Or maybe its just because English is not my first language and I have to listen to it very carfully always anyway that hearing Shakespeare is no extra chore but a pleasure.
Harri, Reykjavik,
Getting back to actual events on the ground, "Stratford" is the wrong Stratford & every river is Avon in the ancestral Celtic tongue.. As with the historical Jesus, we could start a new study in academia of the historical ShakeSpear. Is either relevant? Maybe not, but don't close your eyes to reality, you have them for to see. The Tudors lacked legitimacy esp after English ruin in the War of the Roses, France had won the Hundred Year War: Wot, so soon after Agincourt? Yes, & because of it. The French were not amused when Tyrolian yew longbows decimated their knighthood. With Katherine Valois the wife of Henry V the Welsh solution, Frances's way out vis-a-vis England, offered itself in Owen Tudor. He brought poison to her and though the outrage at court was great, the King lay dead. The couple's grandson was king Henry VII of England. His great-grandson Edward de Vere put Harry V in Falstaff's bad company, had him say "I'm Welsh, boy!" in camp on the eve of Agincourt.
Hermann Burchard, Stillwater , Oklahoma
Drop Shakespeare. Spend a few years learning classical Greek. Read the playwrights of the ancient world in the original. Then read Shakespeare again - go and see his plays at The Globe - then fall on your knees and repent your childish ignorance.
Edmund Burke, Kingston upon Thames, England
As a boy in the 1950s I remember seeing Olivier as Coriolanus and Christopher Plummer as Benedick at Stratford. I've always been in love with Rosalind and Viola. And who can forget Anthony Quayle as a jolly but menacing Falsfaff in the BBC Shakespeare series? Helena in All's Well, Hotspur, Hal: you can go on and on.
Never mind the plots and the language. What about the characters?
Christopher Chantrill, Seattle, USA
Oh how I'm with you! In every play I've seen over the last 30 years, some performed by professional companies, it seemed that the only way the actors could remember their lines and get through the evening was by shouting very loudly very fast, with the result that the poor audience, me, couldn't understand a word and the plot was entirely lost on me; and when the current trend seems to be for modern dress I was denied even a tiny amount of pleasure by looking at period costume. Give me Dickens and Hardy any day.
The patronising comments from your correspondents about "Dancing with the Stars", what is this?, are not even worthy of comment.
Jane, Hants,
Firstly may I say that students are allowed to 'diss' Shakespeare-it's called critique and I have done it in some of my a level essays without being discredited.
Though I've not done it often.
And that's because there's not much to complain about.
So what if the basic plot is copied? After all there are only so many stories it's possible to tell. it's the way it is told that matters.
Shakespeare picks the right words, the right structure, the right tone to shape emotion and reaction felt by the audience.
Naturally the language is hard to understand; it wasn't written in the time of extreme slang and 'text speak' thank goodness!
Hatred generally comes from not understanding.
Velida P, Leeds,
There are two greatest gifts from Britain to the the World.
Scotch Whisky and Shakespeare and debate should end there.
Dr K Mukherjee, Kolkata , India
sorry, but i first read shakespeare when i was eleven, out of my own pure choice (it was 'the comedy of errors', & i likedit alot!). i am not a mindless shakespeare fanatic - i don;t really like othello much, nor hamet really, but i do like a midsummer nights dream, taming of hte shrew, much ado a bout nothing, merchant of venice - i could go on, but you get the idea. & i am 28, b4 you discount this as an elderly person's viewpoint
amanda, london,
Shakespeare has always been difficult to read and that feature has been considerably exacerbated by the style of delivery that actors have traditionally employed. Early Gielgud, for example, was something you listened to rather than followed. I think it has got a lot better, but it is still spoken too quickly, and without sufficient pause and accent to make the more difficult language as comprehensible as possible. Having listened to a short excerpt of Othello on radio, this tendency still prevails. The actor should convey the language to the audience but they invariably sacrifice the meaning for the drama.
Henry Percy, London, UK
You should have taken your brother's advice.
Raymond Palmer, Taunton,
Most of us don't read Shakespeare for pleasure. It's too turgid for a bedtime read, which is all most of us can manage, but worse still, it is forever tarnished by being forced upon us at school.
I quite like Tristram Shandy which is arguably even worse but at least I had the satisfaction of finding it for myself. Ban Shakespeare from schools and it will soon become a teen cult. Give the kids something fun instead like Sherlock Holmes then they might actually be encourage to read instead of turned off.
Ben Grumpie, Bristol,
Obviously a fan of "Survivor" and/or "Dancing with the Stars."
Gary Geoffrion, Cleveland, Ohio
I used to think this way when I was young and didn't know better. But Shakespeare is an acquired taste. When we are young and confronted by the difficulty of the language of Shakespeare it can be a turn off. But it rewards persistence and dedication. The stories of course are often ludicrous and far fetched but then so are many others of the literary canon. Dickens is melodramatic, Austen relied too much on coincidence. And of course we now know that their and other writers of their age had an understanding of the world and particularly of medical conditions which was faulty.
But it is the language of Shakespeare that has made him so pervasive in our culture. Every day people who have probably not read or seen any of his plays since being forced to do so at school quote him a dozen or more times without knowing it. The man could write a telling phrase and he has undoubtedly stood the test of time.
Paul Owen, Birmingham, UK
It seems to me from reading this that you dislike the fact that a lot of people love Shakespeare. Not all of us who enjoy his poems and plays have been brainwashed into doing so, or simply like him unthinkingly without making up our own minds about his writing. The language employed in this piece causes your argument to be ridiculously overstated at the expense of credibility.
emm, RI, USA,
Well done. Youâve set before us all the cons, but none of the pros, and I must profess I think youâve conned yourself. You dislike Shakespeare and in your need to justify your distain all these poorly reasoned reasons you make to appear.
For my part, and my parts are no more than an East End upstart, Iâve always enjoyed Shakespeare, for entertainment when done entertainingly is always entertaining â there, I just managed to get that out without the sunset of a blush embarrassing my cheeks.
Just as love is in the eye of the beholder, opaqueness is in, or not in, the eye of the disbelieve: just what do you not understand of the opening monologue of Richard III, Now is the winter of our discontent made glorious summer by this Son of York�
Bill M (Pom), Sydney, Australia
This is merely a tale told by an idiot, full of sound and fury, signifying nothing. Amusing at best, ridiculous at worst.
Danny, London,
Wow... someone sounds bitter and angry. Who knew that being too thick to understand Shakespeare could cause such frustration?
Thank goodness for "I'm a Celebrity" and the like - something you can understand.
Mark, Smithfield, NC USA
Once you are persuaded he is Edward de Vere and the son of QEI, then it all becomes much simpler She had him raised, and basked in his glory when he won at the lists, shaking his spear (lance) - over his head, as was the custom after a win in the tilt. Later she kept him in cash after he had squandered his father's fortune. -- Does this help to clarify the situation? Not so much a wordsmith as just your nobleman extraordinaire, his job was to extol the Tudors and blacken the vanquished Plantagenets.
Hermann Burchard, Stillwater , Oklahoma