Mary Ann Sieghart
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Excuse me while I crack open my bubbly and spray it all over some adoring, half-dressed young men. I just need to celebrate one more year in which we won't be plagued by the mosquito whine of Formula One cars emanating from a BBC channel. It won't last, of course. From 2009 I'm going to have to start putting the sofa cushions over my head again.
Why is our licence fee helping to pay for this trash? It's not as if Formula One is even watchable. The noise is excruciating, and the tedium is enlivened only if one of the cars spins out of control and crashes. Then you, as a viewer, feel guilty for having hoped for a bit of drama, anything to puncture the mind-sapping monotony of vehicles going round and round the same track in the same order for hours at a time.
You can't see the sportsmen because they're encased in protective clothing, helmets and cockpits. They don't do anything interesting with their bodies, unlike gymnasts, athletes or tennis and football players. They don't even do anything very interesting with their cars, at least to the inexpert eye. Yes, I am sure you have to be very brave and quick-witted to race one of those cars, but that doesn't make it any more exciting to watch.
In these days of environmental awareness, Formula One is the ultimate petrolhead sport. These cars manage only four miles to the gallon. Great swaths of land are dug up all over the world to build new tracks, and noise pollution is horrendous for miles around.
The money spent on it is equally grotesque: $2.9 billion by the 11 teams alone in 2006. And that does not include broadcasting rights or sponsorship or ticket revenues. All this to create a supercar, the rules for whose design seem to be changed by the regulators every year. No wonder there is a temptation to cheat by spying on rivals.
This is a horribly macho sport, with huge quantities of money, petrol, champagne and testosterone sloshing around it. You don't need to be Sigmund Freud to analyse the symbolism of the traditional post-race celebrations - or indeed the height (nearly a foot) and age (28 years) difference between the diminutive Formula One president, Bernie Ecclestone, and his towering wife, Slavica.
And you haven't even got me started on “cash for fags” - the £1 million donation to Labour from Mr Ecclestone that was swiftly followed by a special exemption for Formula One from the ban on tobacco sponsorship of sport. Then Labour was forced to give Mr Ecclestone his money back, so he got his exemption for free.
Tacky, tedious, sexist and maddening. Well done, BBC. All you have to bid for now is Miss World. Go on: that would really make my day.
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as a woman who has grown up watchng F1 and continues to do so happily, i just wanted to state that not all females are such pompous individuals and can still appreciate and enjoy a sport which requires such skill.
Mel, Edinburgh,
Perhaps someone needs to show Ms Sieghart where the change channel button is on her TV controller!
Otherwise her comments on other matters are always worth reading.
Derek, Bromley, UK
Go watch Oprah. Or Trinny & Susannah. Or just about anything else on TV. TV's mostly for the little ladies.
Just leave us men alone with our sports.
Redcliffe, London,
All that money to watch boring cars go round and round?
At least they have MotoGP ,much more exciting !
Disgruntled Dorothy, Glasgow, Scotland
I happen to think that cricket is the most mind-numbingly tedious game ever devised by man, but I don't have a hissy fit because it is on TV, a lot of people like it, and good luck to them. Doesn't Mary Ann Sieghart's TV set on/off switch work for BBC as well as for ITV? And don't get me started on American football!
Peter Byles, Brackley, UK
"noisy, vulgar, tedious trash"? That's a description that can be applied to most soap operas on the goggle box, but I don't hear anyone saying that type of programming needs to be removed. F1 scores over such banality in that it's both real and has positive role models in the form of super-fit individuals who have the dedication and determination to perform at the top-most level in their chosen profession. Incidentally, I stopped watching F1 years ago when it became so processional due to the move away from slick tyres.
David, Cheshire,
I don't understand why the writer will have to cover her ears with cushions when F1 goes over to BBC next year. It is presently on ITV, as she knows. Does it mean that she can't get ITV in her house, or is the volume of sound higher on BBC? This does not make any sense. If she can avoid F1 on ITV she should be able to avoid it on BBC. If someone else in her household wants to watch it and she doesn't they will have to agree on who watches what - same as the rest of us.
Ray Jones, Rochdale, Lancashire
by the same token dear Mary Ann, should you be allowed to wear nice clothes and wear make-up?coz what a waste of money that would be!
Olivier, london,
The author's points do not stack up. Firstly, she doesn't like F1. Okay. I don't like Eastenders, or reality TV, or football. I don't watch them. But I still pay my licence fee. The BBC broadcasts a variety of programmes and cannot satisfy everyone all the time. Her main criticism of F1 is that she cannot understand or appreciate it without putting any effort into doing so.
Then we hear the rather tired environmental argument. The emissions of F1 negligible compared to many other activities. for example, all the dishwashers we use. Or, come to think of it, what is the ecological cost of the premier league? 10 lots of 50,000 people traveling to 10 or so locations around the country, every week? What about the 2012 Olympics? I imagine they have quite a "carbon footprint."
Formula One is the purest from of sport: you have a car, you have a track, you have to drive the car around the track as fast as possible. Perfection is achievable in F1. Not so in other sports.
Michael Cowley, York, UK
this article should be widely read, translated. anti-social politicians, planners elites should be made to compulsorily read it. they must stop supporting the monstrous sport of motor racing. unfortunately even a section of Leftists in the Left-front ruled state of West Bengal in India had planned to have Formula I tracks. fortunately, the idea did not work.
congratulations to the author Mary Ann Sieghart.
vidyadhar date
vidyadhar date, Mumbai, india
Well Mark, as one of the lowly and easily distracted plebes, I think you patricians can keep your hands off our toys. Furthermore, you can also keep your pompous, "socially aware" attitudes to yourself. Diverting the miniscule amounts of money devoted to Formula 1 racing is not going to solve global warming or feed the poor. That will take genuine, committed and co-ordinated action by all the world's governments. Perhaps instead of categorising Formula 1 racing as a crime against humanity, we could instead ban the BBC. From what I've seen, it produces far more damaging gases than a race car ever could.
Craig, Brisbane, Australia
I just love it when a feisty woman (and Mary Ann Sieghart fits the description) puts me in my place; I've traipsed around the world following and watching Formula One racing for more than 40 years, however, I've now seen the error of my ways and I've resolved to divest myself of the habit.
What time is Blue Peter on the Beeb? :-)
Gary, Bolton,
Why does the BBC waste money on this "noisy, vulgar, tedious trash?."
My thoughts entirely, on the round the clock middle class female pity parlour that is R4. And the celebrity dominated female targeted TV junk food that is most weekend TV.
Bob Grant, Leicester,
Waste of money indeed. But over here people like to watch cars driving in an endless circle. It's called NAS car. Talk about tedious.
Jerry, seattle, usa
Just to state on the record, Mr Ecclestone never cashed the returned cheque...
esayal, London,
'Pole position' article Mary! (sorry)
Maybe it's not so much the rather monotonous nature of the sport (except when there's a crash) or the stuff you've mentioned above that's the problem- but the fact that the BBC have decided to 'buy' sport to be shown on their channels- with MY money... without asking- again.
Hamilton has to be the main reason to switch the thing on these days but it all still leaves a sour taste when realising that doing so, it's just cost you £120+ quid!
BBC- hideously ripp-off.
Jez W, Leeds,
Get the tea in will you, pet!
Colin Soames, London,
Quick, get some more decorating and cooking programmes on for Mary, to go with all the other female dominated rubbish us men have to put up with.
David Leslie, Perth, Scotland
I couldn't agree with you more. I have no respect for the and therefore would not patronise companies that sponsor formula one. I would think it much more socially responsible and worthwhile if they put the hundreds of millions of pounds they spent on sponsoring that boring rubbish on feeding the starving in Malawi or something. I think most of the rational for the changes to the rules of this years formula one are to ensure that there are more crashes to keep the plebs entertained. There are nations in the pacific drowning because of global warming and we still have formula one? Well past its use by date I say its time to take these little toys away from the little boys.
Mark C E, Birmingham, UK