Stephen Pollard
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I arrived at Terminal Five on Saturday, bracing myself. My wife and I had been in the US and we wondered if check-in would be the last time we would ever see our exchange-rate-gotten gains.
But when I say that T5 is, based on Saturday's experience, a waste of £4.3 billion, it has nothing to do with the baggage-handling chaos, which has returned this weekend. We were lucky: our luggage is safely unpacked.
Even the halfwits who run BAA should be able to work out how to move some suitcases from a plane to a carousel without losing them on the way.
The real problems with Terminal Five are far more fundamental - a design so inept that those responsible could not even build a functioning toilet.
Let's start with the hour-long wait after we'd landed before a gate could be found for the plane. Nothing new there, you say; that's long been a feature of Heathrow. Precisely. Our apologetic - and clearly embarrassed - pilot told us as we waited that there might well be an expensive new terminal but the same old problems remained.
What's the first thing many people do when they get off a plane? Go to the toilet. The genius who designed the men's loos placed the dryer at immediate right angles to the sink. So if one man is washing his hands, no one else can dry, and vice versa. Within seconds a queue builds up and the entire toilet becomes a mass of angry, frustrated and tired loo goers. The loos were, needless to say, disgusting.
But that queue is as nothing alongside that to leave the arrivals hall.
There are two working lifts to get to the car park (two more were broken). Each, with luggage, holds about five people. With no alternative exit route. And a constant flow of people trying to leave. So guess what happens? Another, far bigger and far angrier, queue. Chaos, designed into the very fabric of the terminal.
As for the design: T5's ceiling is one of those trendy affairs with all the guts showing - sort of urban metal chic (chic, that is, if it was finished, rather than with loose wires and cardboard hanging down). Mrs P, who knows about these things for a living, tells me that, if the innards are real, an expert need only study the ceiling for about ten minutes to work out how to disable the terminal. Terrorism? Who cares!
But, for all that, the single most annoying aspect of T5 is the mini-rail journey to the immigration hall. A recorded female voice tells us where we are going and what to do. In a thick foreign accent (Dutch, I think). T5 is in a British airport for a British airline. Why a foreign voice?
After using T5, it's obvious. It's in the hope that passengers will forget that Britain is responsible for this £4.3 billion farce.
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We had a similar experience to Stephen Pollard arriving from Miami on Sunday. Firstly the plane was delayed from 9pm to midnight because "it had arrived 3 hours late ". Arriving at LHR at around 12.30pm we were then kept on the tarmac for nearly 3 hours.
Firstly, the plane on "our stand" was apparently waiting for a de-icing rig although we could see no snow anywhere.; This took an hour or two and it was only after the first hour that we were allowed to get up and move around the cabin. When the "stand" became available the wait continued while a search for "steps" took place, indicating that the stand under discussion was not one attached to the new terminal building. Once the steps became available there was a call for buses, and finally for a technician to deal with the steps mechanism. By the end, the update from the pilot over the loudspeaker caused mass hilarity in the cabin. We were bussed in to the terminal & many aircraft stands were empty. A 3rd world effort from BA
Helen, London, England
There is no practical reason why luggage cannot be taken by the passenger to the gate where it can easily be loaded on to the plane which will be no more than about 10 metres away. Similarly there is no reason why each gate cannot have its own carousel on the lower level to accommodate arriving luggage directly from the aircraft parked next at it.
The separation of passengers and their luggage is deliberate to ensure they have to wait long periods and are tempted fill the time spending money in the numerous retail outlets, so the airport operator can rake in rental income.
Air terminals are shopping malls which as a sideline handle (badly) aircraft arrivals and departures.
John Bowman, Sarlat, France
MOULDY BAGS
We flew out of T5 business class on the opening morning for 2 nights business in Zurich. Bags lost, of course. Mine was delivered 36 hours later - ok. My husband's was delivered home Friday 4th April. Soaking with an impressive amount of mould covering everything.
Surely even if bags have 'temporarily' parted company with their owners it is someone's responsibility to store them safely!! BA or BAA?? I don't really care whose fault it is.
Business class promises 'prioritised' luggage!!
Liz Roberts, Guildford, Surrey
we actually mentioned the announcing voice to each other - couldn't they have hired an ex newsreader or someone famous for instance? The diction was appalling. Also we experienced the out of order loos -both in the men's and the ladies just as you arrive. It's so disappointing as a frequent traveller - we were actually looking forward to it. Let's face it - they've had years of knowing what's wrong - it would have been so easy to fix and it's just a wasted chance to get it right. Lots of people should be losing their jobs.
Also - fast bag drop? Isn't that just another name for check in, cos they ask the same questions and do the same stuff!
On the plus side - I DID think it looked nice, I DID like the open space and the views - I think it's nice to see your environment instead of being almost in no-man's land where you're in a cocoon. Full marks to the archtect - it's a stunning building - but I hope they get things sorted soon. What hopes for the olympics?!?!?!
jo, Lyon, France
T5 is over-designed.
In February I arrived in T3 in Singapore. It was opened in January. It Is built for 20m passengers compared to T5's 33m and cost a quarter of the price. It works. My baggage arrived before me at the carousel.and there were no queues.
stephen bull, fontes, france
Has anyone written in a similar vein about the new Kings Cross St Pancras station?
I live locally and have to use it every day. For some reason - presumably one relating to design - the main entrance is overwhelmed with passengers every day from 8.25am onwards.
So much so that the guards allow people in one at a time causing massive queues.
How much did it all cost again?
Simon, London,
We had a very similar experience at T5 to one of your contributors. Having landed yesterday after an 8 hour flight we were kept waiting for 3 hours on the runway. Finally clearing 'Border Control' - the first toilets were bound to be popular. They were disgusting - the soap had run out of the built in dispensers and someone had placed industrial plastic flagons on the counters....which had also run out. Cubicles were out of action with shabby notices plastered over the doors. The Ladies had apparently run out of toilet paper and had those awful toilet brushes. Whilst I could have a degree of understanding with 'teething' problems this state of affairs was absolutely unforgiveable and so easy to fix. More than that however, it reflects such a lack of even the most basis organisation any sympathy you may have had with the situation completely evaporates......consequently when you are then kept anxously waiting a further hour for your luggage you vow to never travel with BA ever again.
nigel graham, wetherby, west yorkshire
It is quite traditional - The bigger the organisation (and budget) the more spectacular the cock-up.
BP Vallance, Corfu, Greece
@ Peter
I haven't been there but I have been watching the stories and I am interested in the discourse. The shambles have been going on for days yet we don't get stories such as
If you are going to T5, then don't plan to go to the loo there - use the loo on the plane.
What we seem to have is collective determination not to fix things.
And PS - in the design stories we don't hear how the workers and unions were consulted for their advice.
Let's hear some workarounds - though sorry Stephen your flight and arrival home was dire. I don't get the green movement trying to persuade us not travel by air. It seems to be that we could solve the prison overpopulation problem by sentencing people to 100, 200, 300, etc hours in planes and airports.
Oh yes, if anyone out there is interested in positive psychology and/or mashups, I am looking for someone to help me build one. Someone at T5 yesterday must be worthy of a thank you note.
http://nouveauxpommes.wordpress.com
Jo, Olney, UK
In agree entirely. I had no baggage issues, but the whole place is mutton dressed as lamb.
Even going through the business fast track lane it took longer to get through security than in old T1.
You spend your entire time going up and down stairs or escalators.
The departure screens in the exec lounge were broken.
After arriving back, you go down 2 levels, wait for a train, travel for a minute, then go back up another 2 levels.
After clearing customs etc. if you are heading to get in a taxi you need to leave the terminal and then immediately get in a lift and go up several levels again.
Etc.
At the end of it all I was more tired from all of this than from my journey. The whole thing is a beautiful, expensive, way of moving passengers around slower than in T1.
tommo.1, London,
T5 is easily avoided - don't fly BA. BA is the most self-inflicted
disaster company ever! Wild cat strikes every other summer and
now a duff terminal. Do yourself and your family a favour - avoid flying
with these halfwits.
john, Bristol, UK
Stephen
Did you really have such a bad time at T5, or are you just indulging in our national sport of attacking anything new and attempting to guarantee that the country will never get out of the mess your generation have left it in?
I came through T5 at the height of the "baggage crisis" - I arrived at a modern, well designed terminal that for once made entering the UK a pleasant experience. No queues, no lost bags, and a building that does not feel like the marriage of a 1970s slum and a toilet, which most of our aging public infrastructure is.
Which T5 did you arrive at?
Peter, London,
The disease with the loos is endemic. It is exactly the same at our new super soaraway Wembley Stadium. Pathetic.
John Punshon, Milton Keynes, England
'But, for all that, the single most annoying aspect of T5 is the mini-rail journey to immigration hall'.
Here, here, after a long journey of some 30 hours the last thing I wanted was another squished and processed mini-trip to collect the baggage that never came.
L. Anderosn, Deal, Kent
I agree, how disappointing to have to climb aboard yet another means of transport after in my case a 30 hour journey to make our way to immigration hall and the baggage carousel which didn't have our baggage on it, and we were forced to return home. Maybe T5 looks great but if the infrastructure ain't right, the lifts don't work, who gives a dam about what the place looks like?
L. Anderson, Deal, Kent