MINDS OVER MATTER
I’ve been holed up, writing a book with Mark Augustyn and Chris England – who also co-write my television show Al Murray’s Happy Hour with me – and it’s made me realise the only way to write is collaboratively. We sit around, eat crisps, talk about food, play with props and watch reruns of The Prisoner; and somehow, at the end of it, a book emerges.

We become a sort of uni-mind, where we can’t tell who’s written what, and we’ve already managed to churn out 20,000 words this past week of the second Pub Landlord book, which is based on my TV character. We pick a subject and grind at it until it turns out some jokes.

READY TO ROCK
Another thing I’ve done, to help my manager Richard out of his mid-life crisis, is to join his band Toy Factory. He set it up with friends when he was at school, and they’ve all got back together now that they’re all successful and can have all the equipment they ever wanted. I’ve been drafted in to play the drums. We had a rehearsal last week and I ended up with blisters on my hands and went deaf. Now we have delusions of rock stardom.

What’s great is that it has nothing to do with being a comedian – I can sit at the back and not take any bows. We do covers: Whole Lotta Love, Brand New Cadillac – basically 1950s and 1960s rock’n’roll. We’re playing at a James Bond party in Kilburn, northwest London, next Friday.

NEWS FOR IAN AND PAUL
In complete contrast, on Thursday I was off to the London Studios, on the South Bank, to host Have I Got News for You, which went out on Friday. I met the writers on Wednesday, when we talked through what I wanted to say. On Thursday I had a run-through with the Autocue, then with the producer, then the researchers – by the time Paul Merton and Ian Hislop turn up, all low-key and approachable, you’re feeling very relaxed.

Germaine Greer was a panellist. My favourite moment came when she mentioned that she’s the patron of Buglife, the insect preservation charity.

I made her go back to the subject, and she went into a glorious and passionate tirade about the moral obligation we have to care about creepy-crawlies. It was rather lovely. I’ve always been an admirer of hers in a funny sort of way, because she says what she likes even if it’s the first thing that comes into her head. I’m much more guarded. I’ve always tried to avoid appearing as me because I don’t think “me” is particularly interesting.

1066 AND ALL THAT ALE
We’re fairly far removed, the Pub Landlord and me. I could never roll up to people as confidently as he does, but his confidence comes from ignorance rather than because swaggering about is a good thing to do.

Our chief shared characteristics are that we both like the sound of our own voices and we both like history. He knows 1066 and All That sort of history, whereas I read history at Oxford and still read the real stuff all the time.

I first invented my Pub Landlord alter ego 15 years ago, when I was doing a show with Harry Hill at the Edinburgh Fringe festival. We had a band at the end called the Pub Band and no linking device to hold the whole show together.

On the opening night, I thought, ‘Well, I’ll be a pub landlord’. By the end of the run, I had an act and we had a hit show on our hands.

Harry and I were pals long before we emerged as comics. Comedians are very competitive people, but weirdly that’s not an issue for us – we’re godfather to each other’s eldest child. We never get to see each other because we’re so busy, but we call each other to have a moan.

GOING AT IT BACKWARDS
I have two daughters who are nine and five, and I’m taking Scarlett, the eldest, to see David Tennant play Hamlet this week. I’ve been trying to get her to watch the film so she’s not confused when there aren’t any Daleks.

In February I’m going on a 50-date tour as the Pub Landlord, but I haven’t written it yet, so I need to preserve January for that. All I ever wanted as a stand-up comedian was to be able to do 40-minute bills instead of 20, so I’ve outstripped that.

When I write for stand-up, I decide on general themes, work out how I’m going to end the act and work backwards from there. The first half hour is always improvised and the second half is written.

The hardest part is knowing when to stop writing. It’s very different to writing the book. Stand-up needs a laugh every 30 seconds, whereas in a book you only need a payoff joke at the end of a page.

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