May it please your Majesty, I have neither eyes to see, nor tongue to speak in this place, but as this House is pleased to direct me, whose servant I am here; and humbly beg your Majesty's pardon that I cannot give any other answer than this. Speaker William Lenthall, in the Chamber of the House of Commons, January 4, 1642, refusing to disclose to King Charles I the whereabouts of five MPs whom the King had come to arrest for high treason.

We can't defend our freedoms by sacrificing them - and Damian Green has shown us why. David Davis, in the Mail on Sunday, November 30, 2008, protesting about the search of an MP's office over leaks to the press.

Come off it. It's not exactly the English Civil War, is it - Speaker Michael Martin seizing the Mace and tearing off to Hounslow Heath down the Staines Road. (Presumably by taxi. On expense account.)

Enough! Flee, flights of fancy. We must take this Very Seriously Indeed. The historic liberties of Parliament have been Infringed. British Democracy has been assaulted (sorry, this matter does call for a lot of capital letters). A Member of Parliament has been Impugned. Now, in sympathy with their fellow MP, backbenchers are reportedly planning to “disrupt” the debate on the Queen's Speech today - as opposed, presumably, to the considered debate they normally honour the Gracious Speech with.

This is how Hansard reports the opening of the Queen's Speech debate last year, with Mr Richard Caborn, MP for Sheffield Central, speaking first: “Mr. Speaker - [INTERRUPTION.] That is the formalities over with. Mr Speaker, it gives me great pleasure, after some 24 years as a Member of this House, to have been invited to move the Loyal Address. It is also nice to address a full Chamber - [INTERRUPTION.] - or a nearly full Chamber, to be correct. The last time I addressed a full Chamber, I was standing at the Dispatch Box; I was recommending the casino advisory panel's - [INTERRUPTION.]...” Etc.

The very idea that the public would sit up and take notice were MPs to “disrupt” the debate today shows how far removed this argument has got from the perceptions of ordinary people. Parliament, cheered on by a media bored with writing about the credit crunch (yes, me too), is in danger of making an ass of itself. Do MPs not realise that standing on your dignity is only possible when you have sufficient dignity left to stand on? In the opinions of most people around most of the country that, sadly, is not the case.

Yes, there are people, especially on the right-wing blogs, or libertarians who loathe the Government already (fair enough) and who are outraged at the constitutional breach contained in the search of Mr Green's offices. “We are not a free people by accident,” writes Richard Bacon, MP, for instance, on the ConservativeHome website. “It is the result of choices and hard work and lives given in sacrifice... A parliamentary colleague has been arrested for doing his job. Making this right and protecting our Parliament transcends everything else.”

Hmm. Up to a point, Mr Bacon. Up to the point, in fact, at which everybody realised a colossal error had been made - and that point came last Friday, as soon as the facts began to trickle out. The police will not be doing anything like this again soon. There is barely a person in the country who cannot see that a clodhoppingly great mistake has been made, and in pursuit of the ridiculous at that - finding out who has been sneaking on a Government which, more often than not in the past, has sneaked on itself.

An administration that spent ten years tripping over itself to trip each other up - No 10 against Treasury, Gordon against Tony - and which has repeatedly and unapologetically leaked sensitive economic or security details when it suited its own interest, really is in no position to be claiming the moral high ground over breaches of confidentiality now.

But this is histrionics, not history; high farce, not tragedy; and cock-up, not conspiracy. The MPs from all sides of the House rushing to claim their part in the drama - Harriet Harman, Nick Clegg, Denis MacShane, David Davis (“me too!”) - are on the cusp not of history, but of looking ridiculous.

Quite why Gordon Brown has not found the time, the will or the wit to nail down what happened and close this mad story down over the weekend is beyond me. We learnt last week that Mr Brown has found the time to send no fewer than 12 inspiring letters to contestants in the current series of The X Factor: “Can I say that the next time Simon [Cowell] says that you are only supported by the over-60s, you can tell him that my wife Sarah and I disagree”, etc. But nothing on the constitutional drama, Prime Minister? Not even a little note? A thought?

There are questions that should be answered. Why are the police such idiots? Where were the political antennae of the Permanent Secretary at the Home Office, Sir David Normington? Exactly what did Jacqui Smith know, and when? What did the Serjeant at Arms, or the Speaker, specifically agree to, and why? Perhaps someone will have to resign. Certainly it sounds as though the Speaker may have to.

But still this saga will not “transcend everything else”. It won't, honestly. In safe houses around the country today, terrorists will be planning new attacks. That's important. Babies Q and R and S are being abused. That matters. People are losing their jobs and their homes in the recession. That hurts. Damian Green's office got searched? Come on.

It was idiotic. It was wrong. End of story. Today is the Queen's Speech, the agenda for the next year, Parliament's big performance; show time. Our MPs must remember to look at their audience and address them, not themselves.

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