Jennifer Howze
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Outside we go, wrapped against the winter cold, for the neighbourly gathering around the Christmas bear. He is pink, plastic, dressed in the traditional snowflake jumper and if you've never appreciated his role in celebrating the birth of Jesus, you need to wrap up and go out more.
Blow-up bears, plastic Santas, lighted reindeer who move their heads to and fro like tennis fans - these front-garden displays are the pinnacle of yuletide celebration. They divert passers-by. They dazzle little children with lights. They embody the wonder and spirit of the season, while only masquerading as tacky carbon-gobbling monstrosities.
Cue sniffy critics who roll their eyes melodramatically and sneer at the aesthetics of the plywood Nativity scene and the red-nosed Rudolph statuette. “Classy,” a friend of mine smirked several years ago as we walked past a modest home with two plastic reindeer on the roof next to a faux chimney with Santa's boots poking out. It's the same in my new neighbourhood, with people chuckling and shaking their heads at the homes bedizened with lights, tinsel and corny front-garden characters.
The Scrooges and snobs need to lighten up and switch on. Let corporate directors and department store stylists fuss over primly co-ordinated trees. Inflate the oversized gingerbread house. Mix the sacred and profane to reflect our true holiday experience. Put Baby Jesus in Father Christmas's sledge while Frosty the Snowman shakes hands with a Wise Man.
What, after all, is the point of these outdoor decorations featuring oversized angels and ersatz stars if not to engender the kind of “community” that the Government spends millions trying to fabricate with outreach programmes and manufactured good times? Neighbours go to look at the lights with their children, dropping coins into the charity bucket. The elves are never kitted out in low-cut tops; the tinkly music never refers to something you can do with a gun.
And what a relief to enjoy a family outing without being cajoled into buying a battery-powered toy.
As the recession bites, undoubtedly fewer lights will be switching on. A recent study by Clydesdale Bank in Scotland showed that 10 per cent of Scots who previously decorated the outside of their homes were skipping the ritual this year. If we don't support the enthusiastic folk who keep dragging out the decorations, these displays will gravitate more and more to shopping districts, turned on by X Factor rejects. We should keep community Christmas spirit alive by encouraging local festive gaudiness before it's snuffed out altogether.
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In honour of the dire economic situation i've been looking for a 'Christ on a Bike' figurine, but there seems to be no such thing!
Why not get a boatload of each seperately, join them together and get them on eBay?
You can take that one to the bank.... if it's still there.
dave hall, Stafford, UK
Miserable lot. Celebrate! Burn a little fossil fuel. Another joyus year under New Labour - with a whole new year of joy to look forward to. Time to gives thanks for our glorious leaders, Flash, Badger, Nanny (& little Ruthie gone), the Dark Lord & the Straw Man (aren't we all "straw men" now?)
Freddy, Macclesthwaite,
What snobs!
Sydney, Leeds, UK
I don't mind them so much, what I do mind is people winging throughout the year that they have no money, the bills are too high and the house needs decorating.....who then go out and spend hundreds on lights and blow up santas, and then more on lighting them from November through till January.
Chris, Abergavenny,
But I would never want to be part of a community with people who find such things attractive or worthwhile, so these monstrosities do not engender a sense of "community". On the other hand, at least this is not the government wasting my money!
John Scott, London,