Shame on you if you expressed gratitude for a Christmas gift by firing off a quick e-mail. If you sent a text, you should be flayed. Anything but a handwritten thank-you letter is idleness, ill manners and ingratitude.

An unscientific survey in the 5 Live office suggests that the only people who still receive a formal note are elderly relatives, so I won't have the pleasure of reading actual handwriting for probably another three decades; instead, I'm the lucky recipient of a rather pathetic text: “thku for ur present, hope u had a gd xmas!”

Writing a job lot of thank yous immediately after Christmas is slightly wearing. But if someone has trudged down freezing high streets, with a wallet shrunk by the credit crunch - or even scoured websites from the warmth of their kitchen to select the perfect gift - surely they deserve a token of appreciation? Even the millionaire uncle who gives a colleague a fiver each year receives a handwritten missive explaining how it has been gratefully spent (just over a gallon of petrol/ three quarters of a pack of cigarettes).

But beware cheats. I'm vexed to discover that websites sell software to cover “every type of thankyou letter you can think of”. The templates are written by professionals so you “no longer have to struggle to find the right words to say”. All for $19.99! Professionals? To help you thank someone for a sweater?

Here's a couple of simple, gratis tips from those websites: mention the gift's significance to you - it's an effective way to build a strong relationship. A compliment may be directed both to the gift and the thoughtfulness of the giver - see, it's not hard. Now imagine sending one of those templates to dupe an aunt into thinking the words came from deep within the heart. What treachery.

On Sunday I supervised my five-year-old as he used coloured ink and printing blocks to make thank-you cards. I had to cajole him to write his name in each one. It took hours. Finally he handed one to my mum, who was sitting opposite us at the kitchen table. Even though she said “oh you didn't have to...” I knew he did because she made me write thank yous when I was young.

If simple manners aren't enough to persuade you, there's a self-interested reason too. Researchers at Kent State University, Ohio, studied the mood of people who wrote letters to those who had made a difference to their lives. They became happier the more they wrote. There is no such contentment in pinging a text, only a nagging guilt because it's too easy.

And don't worry if you haven't put pen to paper yet. You can always blame the late arrival of your thank yous on the unreliability of snail mail.

The author is a Radio 5 Live presenter

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