As we left the party, I negotiated a trade with my friend . . . and was immediately set upon by the departmental feminist: I should be ashamed of myself! I was, but not, I suspected, for the reason the feminist would recommend. So I asked why.

I learnt that images of the kind I was so keen on harm women because they create an ideal of beauty that few women can attain. By endorsing this ideal I was contributing to the unhappiness of the many women who do not conform to it. Society — including me — must change its values.

I was reminded of this lesson by a recent newspaper article about the similar suffering of men. Tracy Tylka, of Ohio State University, has discovered that, on a scale from “never” to “always”, American undergraduates “often” or “usually” think of themselves as insufficiently muscular. And she offers the standard explanation and remedy. “Men see these idealised, muscular men and feel their own bodies do not measure up . . . Instead of pressuring men to be more muscular we need to accept men’s bodies for what they are and instead focus on internal characteristics.”

Perhaps it is because this analysis is now so familiar that its absurdity is not widely recognised. The dissatisfaction men feel about their bodies is not a consequence of society’s twisted values, and it cannot be cured by reforming society. Those who think it can are making the fundamental mistake of Utopianism.

Consider another disappointment that I imagine many of you experience. Why don’t you live in a vast mansion bordering on Hampstead Heath? Some will say it is the exorbitant price of such homes that explains this disappointing fact. They are mistaken.

Suppose a law set the price of London mansions at zero. You still wouldn’t live in one. Because reducing the price of something does not increase the quantity of it. (On the contrary, it reduces the supply.) If they were made free, there would still be only a handful of London mansions and millions of Brits wanting to live in one. Why suppose that you would be at the front of the queue for mansions?

The Utopian mistake lies in failing to take scarcity seriously. That most people do not live in mansions, or more generally do not have everything they would like, is not a consequence of “the system”. It is a consequence of the real scarcity of resources. Since reality will always contain less than the sum of what everyone would like to have, disappointment is unavoidable. No reform of the system can eliminate scarcity or the dissatisfaction it causes. The only serious question is how scarce resources should be allocated.

Consider again the bodily dissatisfaction of American men. Why do they want bigger muscles? It is because muscles are one of the bases on which certain desirable scarce resources are allocated. A good physique will help you to find work as an actor or model, increase the quantity and quality of your sex partners and, ultimately, attract a more desirable spouse or win more favourable terms within the marriage (the more attractive partner tends to get the better deal).

Dr Tylka thinks we should “focus on internal qualities”. But that would not solve the underlying problem of scarcity. It would not increase the number of attractive sex partners, desirable spouses or modelling jobs that are available to men. So it would not change the number who are disappointed. It would merely shift the basis of their disappointment and hence the focus of their feelings of inadequacy — perhaps from their physiques to their intelligence. Pretty soon Dr Tylka and her ilk would be complaining about the suffering caused by society’s unhealthy obsession with brains.

Allocating lovers and spouses on the basis of “internal qualities” might, admittedly, provide one benefit for men. If these were internal qualities that you cannot change much in adulthood, such as intelligence, the cost of seduction would be reduced. There would be no point in going to the gym, spending money on clothes or making any other futile efforts to be more attractive.

But that does not mean that beauty is, after all, a bad basis for allocating lovers. Because beautification has benefits that almost certainly outweigh its costs. Exercising and eating well are a pain, but they are also good for your health. Dr Tylka lists calorie counting among the calamitous effects of America’s body obsession. In a nation of widespread obesity, that is a perverse complaint. More significant, however, are the benefits to heterosexual women and gay men. They enjoy a greater supply of potential lovers with the kinds of physiques that, however shameful it may be, most do in fact prefer.

And here we come to the other great mistake of Utopians. They take humanity no more seriously than scarcity. What are those who say we must stop caring about physical appearance seriously suggesting? How should I be stopped from finding beautiful women attractive? Fixing me would require appallingly coercive measures. As Cambodians can tell you, Utopianism is not just stupid, it is nasty.

Jamie Whyte is author of Bad Thoughts: A Guide to Clear Thinking

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