Janice Turner
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Does celebrity turn women mad? Or must you be mad to pursue fame so hungrily in the first place? This was the question hovering above Lady McCartney's spectacular flame-out on GMTV, BBC News 24, US Today, ABC and any other media outlet with available studio time. Highlights of her performance should be played to classes of teenage girls with dreams of WAGdom, every X Factor or reality soap wannabe.
It's a lesson otherwise unteachable, that even if you are beautiful, have acquired the rich husband whose name assures A-list invites, borrowed jewels and Chanel trinkets, and have a huge divorce swag-bag pending, you could end up weeping and railing over scrapbooks filled with cruel words, and be sent ever more sectionable by a chat-show host's wisecrack. And that when you bare your terror, your suicidal thoughts, your outrage at the sheer it's-not-bloody-fair-ness, the world will turn, stare, then laugh its ass off one more time.
Who would want to be famous today? Wealthy, distinguished in your profession, admired by peers, yes. But fame has never looked an uglier trade-off. You can afford to holiday anywhere in the world, but you can't stroll to the corner shop. Not without either styling yourself to perfection every time you open the door (à la Liz Hurley) or having your scraped-back hair and manky fleece vilified in Heat. I once watched the actor James Nesbitt buy a pineapple in my local Sainsbury's. After he had paid, but was still in earshot, the cashiers had a chortle about how much balder and older he looked than on telly and I suddenly appreciated the small pleasure of purchasing tropical fruit unmolested.
The celeb mags have grown hateful of late - the breezy, teasing tone has flown now that the number of titles has proliferated and they must fight for readers with the potency of their bile. Flick this week through grotesque pictures of Charlie from Big Brother being assaulted in a nightclub. Read how Posh is forced to admit she has acne, that her claims that a paparazzo digitally added spots to a photo were all lies. Mena Suvari is snapped crying in a café, a picture of Demi Moore is headlined “You look so old!”
I recently interviewed Pamela Stephenson, comedian-turned-LA psychologist, who explained that celebrity insanity, depression and substance abuse stem from the gap between a star's public persona - the air-brushed image blown up on billboards, screamed for by fans - and his actual self who can't control his kids, pigs out on pizza, can't always get it up. Celebrities worry that they are not the super-heroic, perfect people of their PR legends; that any moment this will be discovered and success ripped away.
Piers Morgan, in his insightful memoirs, rightly berates stars who whinge about fame, the spoilt ingrates who need reminding of their sublime fortune, perhaps by working a few 12-hour shifts in a call centre. But there are those for whom wealth is no compensation for losing all peace of mind. As Just Jack wrote in their song about celebrity culture, Starz in Their Eyes: “Since you became a VIPerson/It's like your problems have all worsened/ Your paranoia casts aspersions/ On the truths you know.” A study of American celebrities - sports stars, musicians, entertainers - found that they were four times more likely to kill themselves than “civilians” (Liz Hurley's term and their average life expectancy was only 58 years.
At least those with a true gift can be reassured by their talent. The talented will always be forgiven - as Sir Paul McCartney knows - whatever the allegations of wife-hitting. And they have some ulterior purpose, an album to write, a movie to shoot. Classically trained Charlotte Church crunched a spiteful remark from girl-band screecher Cheryl Tweedy with “when you can f***ing sing Ave Maria, then have a go”.
But for those with no talent, whose celebrity is founded upon notoriety or marriage or some long-dead career, their fame is a husk. Only constant publicity can shore up their egos, reassure them that they exist at all. Victoria Beckham, her life one uneasy photo opportunity is a real-life Tinkerbell, kept alive only by the whirr of auto-shutters. Yet for all her couture clothes and great wealth, she looks lonely and puzzled, as if unable to work out why, with every fine detail of a perfect life in place, she still isn't happy.
Diana, Princess of Wales, could have chosen to live quietly after her marital breakdown and remained famous without being a celebrity. But she chose the gowns, galas and showbiz friends: that was her royal revenge. And so by column inches she was judged, and judged herself. Relying upon the vagaries and appetites of newspapers to fuel her self-esteem, led her to paranoia and persecution.
Cherie Blair's latter unhappiness began when she sidelined her real talent for law, and tried to placate the press who mocked her looks, by being a more effortful celebrity: slimmer, more glamorous, better dressed. She swapped a concrete career for a will-o'-the-wisp, an illusion and misery.
And Ulrika Jonsson, now her TV career is all but dead, has nothing to sell but her own life. In her recent documentary Am I a Sex Addict? a psychologist concluded that the answer was unquestionably yes, and advised Ulrika to abstain from a relationship for a year. Yet this week she announced that her fourth child was due by a fourth father. Inevitable, really, when her principal income seems to be selling stories to Hello! magazine in a fast-repeating cycle: her new love, engagement, joy at their new baby, wedding, briskly followed by “Ulrika: how I'll survive alone after our break-up”.
The singer Björk said stardom “feels like a service industry” and pushing out babies to propagate new sub-plots in your personal soap is one kind of celebrity duty. But even posing on the red carpet looks a seedy business. At the Baftas once I happened to enter the building as five Hollywood A-list actresses were strutting before photographers: it was a bitter January night, but still they removed their coats and waggled their goose flesh, the world's most highly paid lap dancers. Premiere parties, as top-class ligger Pearl Lowe concluded in her recent memoir, are empty, unfriendly: it's more fun to pay to see the movie with mates.
Lady McCartney should burn her cuttings books, switch off her TV, move to that gorgeous house she bought by a Slovenian lake, conduct her campaigns in obscurity. Fame without talent is no kind of life.

Janice Turner joined The Times in 2003 from The Guardian, and writes mainly, but not exclusively, on family matters and women's issues. Her column appears on Saturdays
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"... The world will turn, stare, then laugh its ass off one more time." Laugh its what? Is The Times an American newspaper now? Or is the writer too coy to use the proper word? Shame on you all!
Laurence Eyton, London,
I have no respect for much of the media and feel they should not be allowed to say anythng about anyone (celebrity or not) they cannot prove to be true and yet you can't blame them entirely. Take away the dmeand for their spurious stories and the supply will dry up. God alone knows why anyone is interested in other people's sex lives and divorces, but there you are, obviously millions are.
dunlochan, paignton, england
"wannbees embrace obscurity" is an oxymoron if ever I heard one.
It is completely unjust to compare Mrs McCartney and the likes of Posh Spice. Heather was a noteable person in her own right before she married McCartney and had helped many people, She diid not marry him for fame as undoubtedly Posh married Beckham. She is just a chav and was one of the least talented of a an untalented group.
The Spice Girls were a manufactured group to cash in on the teeniebopper market. If you talk about girl groups, you think of Bananarama, the Bangles and Heart. Calling the Spices pathetic by comparison is paying them a compliment, the movie they made was a perfect showcase for their lack of talent.
All the amounts of money and other speculation about the divorce is just lies made up to sell newspapers and TV time.
leonidas, london, UK
Ron of Toronto's comment is spot on. It seems like a total lack of self-control and mental derangement are basic requirements for celebrity status.
Sadder still that so many others enjoy reading such rubbish. If the public didn't buy the newspapers which celebrate such garbage, this tacky and sordid trend would quickly die a death.
Christina, Essex,
Heather Mills is a sad case indeed. When things don't go her way she tries to ruin others. She is attention seeker with no talent. Wants to be famous for what exactly? She can't seem to concentrate on a charity either. Real charity workers do it without seeking attention. She comes off a false. The woman has no focus - just wants to be famous. Sad Sad Sad.
Barbara, Albany, NY USA
"If there were no media, there would be no celebrities..." That's absurd. Media companies are not self-sustaining. It is the public that consumes this product, the public that builds up celebrities only to have the satisfaction of watching them crumble. If no one bought these ragazines, no one watched these shows, no one went to the movies because of gossip surrounding the star, these problems would go away. Not that the celebs seeking easy attention don't feed into it. And it's never necessary to sustain your career (look at Tom Hanks), _unless_ you have, as the article says, no talent (and nothing important to share with the world).
Tom, Minneapolis, USA
It's not about Heather Mills, and whether or not she has done 20 years of work for charity, or married a man who was not what she thought (thousands of women have done that!). But it is, as you say, about the public's appetite for malicious media stories, and about hacks who make a living persecuting those in the public eye, deciding who to turn into saints or sinners by the version of events they peddle and the slant they put on stories.
If only the media looked at their own immoral practices and devious practitioners with as much zeal as they put into hounding those they have decided to pick on and harass - then they might find out who is truly "talentless". Sort your own house out, journos. There's a lot of stones flying round, and I fear for the glass.
Dale, Wellington,
Mrs McCartney recently stated that she is "Responsible for thousands of lives". God help us all if this is true, I thought. The probable fact that she was referring to one of her charities did nothing to dispel the horror of the thought. A charmless gold-digger, famous only in her own mind and using every opportunity to cheapen her short-lived marriage with Paul, she is the epitomy of everything one strives not to be or to become. Whatever she gains monetarily she should be grateful. Then, with luck she will go somewhere far away and leave us all in peace. She has no value to humanity.
jaime gamell riera, madrid, spain
Kipling, fortunately or unfortunately the media in free countries, as a buyer's market, is demand-driven, giving the public what it wants and will pay to read, watch and hear. If the public didn't have a depressingly voracious and apparently insatiable appetite for cretinous celebrity and unreality-TV fluff, it wouldn't sell and the media would have to upgrade the standard from bottom-of-the-barrel trivia. We, the readers, viewers and listeners drive the demand, the media panders to it. Blaming the media in a buyer's market for the public hunger for worthless pap masquerading as news is as much of a cop-out as blaming McDonalds and co for their customers' hunger for worthless pap masquerading as food.
We, the public, have to raise our voices to make our distaste for this constant torrent of value-free trash (especially at the supposedly more intelligent end of the media spectrum) known and stop funding it; it's time stupidity was mocked and reviled instead of worshipped.
Ruth Qishta, Salwa, Kuwait
You have a point here. If there is an advantage in being a celebrity they are definitely getting it wrong at Eton.
Henry Percy, London, UK
Great article. Who would want to be famous.......
Paul, Leigh-on-Sea, Essex
When Heather Mills smiles the smile does not reach her eyes
David Howells, Nailsea, UK
Bravo to those journalists who(sometimes at great risk) use their talents to serve society.However,I consider the unnessecary invasion of privacy & publicly attributing all kinds of motives, "facts" about people is an abuse of power, which seems rife currently,not just by some journalists, but also some attorneys, private investigators, government officals, P.R. people etc, everywhere. Anyone who has influence,whereever they are in society, can use their talents to do good or to harm. Those journalists(& others) who delight or engage in arrogant public smearing, peddling of gossip, unnecessary invasion of privacy & extra-judicial & arrogant ill-informed back-seat public psychoanalysis might consider talking to fellow journalists who have been harassed. Both the actions of those who (group)bully, "snoop", gossip, smear etc & the potential harm to the victims do not differ across nationality or profession. Bravo to those who dont abuse their influence. Could others consider changing?
A Anon, a town, usa
Spot on. I do hope that the untalented take heed of the way Mills has been treated and realise that fame is not a right, it is only for those talented few. If I was Heather Mills and felt that I had been treated unfairly, I would jump at the chance at obscurity. But what does she do? She gets herself on morning TV to shriek hysterically, thus justifying the media's treatment of her. I bare her no personal animosity (I am no Beatle fan!), but I hope that the tide turns against this modern celeb culture where the untalented have a chance of invading public conciousness.
Nick, Brighton,
David Cunard of LA.
Lady mills is NOT her real name.
As far as I.m aware, she has never been knighted.
Her husband was knighted as Sir Paul McCartney and his wife is styled Lady McCartney.
I don't care about either of them and don't like either of them but I don't think the wrong is all on Heather's side.
It rarely is in a marriage breakdown.
Sir Paul, of course is forgiven anything because he is immensely rich, popular and was once part of a mediocre 60s band.
David Ivan, Stoke on Trent , Staffs UK
The two scariest words in talentless celbrity-dom?
Yoko Ono.
Could the bar be placed any lower?
Gary Ricin, Brattleboro, usa
Jeez, give the woman a break! She's not 'mad', for god's sake, just a person, got tormented by the media, and this is the result. Emotions and bitterness. Since when does showing either of those make us 'deranged'
Sam, UK,
Excellent aricle. A year or so ago, I saw Sir Paul and Lady McCartney on Canadian television. The Maccas were being interviewed about their visit to the seal hunt. Nice footage - blue sky, endless snowscape, snow blowing everywhere, the couple dressed in very best of winter clothing. (Lady M tried to pick up a seal pup -which is illegal as it would result in the rejection of the pup by its mother - would you want your kid drenched in Issey Miyake?). Anyway also on the show were a couple of hard nosed Canadian politicians who utterly destroyed her (their unconcealed pleasure as they relentlessly tore her apart did them little credit). Realizing (after a while) what was happening to her sad little arguments, she descended into total shriek mode, absolutely incoherent by the end of the show. Sir P looked on, aghast and baffled It was truly awful - horrible and fascinating at the same time. Heather Mills deserves a special mention in the roll call of talentless celebrity.
DGMcLean, Calgary, Canada
she is painful to watch. I turn over as soon as they announce her. She knew who she was marrying. She should now take the money, shut up and run.
The only and first time I fully watched her on T.V. here was on the Larry King show just after 9/11 when she told Larry and of course the whole audience of watchers, how she, Heather, was on the runway at the airport when the planes hit, and she told Paul to get off the plane as he should stay and be with the Americans and how she advised him to do this and do that. the whole interview was in this vein, how she told Paul what to do. I wondered then, how Paul ever got where he was without her good advice. After that I decided not to watch her on t.v. again and never do. She was so full of her own self importance and still is. I certainly have no pity for her whatsoever.
Jean Kaye ex pat, boynton beach, u.s.a. Florida.
This article was right on! Celebrities start believing their own PR rhetoric and then life is no longer anywhere near reality. Fans read the tabloids and believe every written word, another move away from reality. Celebrities are just "people" with the same warts as the rest of us. Paul and Linda's marriage was often referred to as perfect - unrealistic. No marriage is perfect. Heather thought that's what she was getting into only to find that was not reality. And now in her unrealistic world she seeks the fame and fortune she believes she has earned. Again, not realistic. She is a perfect example of someone buying into image. If it weren't so tragic it would be funny.
Doreen, Jacksonville, Florida, USA
"Famous"?
For what?
Marrying an ex-Beatle?
Alan Henderson, Whitley Bay, England
Today's celebrity has made it so easy to dislike them that they've taken all the sport out of it.They are no longer to be admired but pitied.What is it that has come unhinged in their brains that make them act the way they do?There are so few of them that get anywhere on talent.Mental derangement and total lack of self control are now almost a requirement.
ron, toronto,
Perhaps the abundence of celebs with borderline personality disorder?
mark hayes, klimmen, nederland
Don't keep attacking, analysing and insulting Heather Mills, go for the real problem, the ever voracious media. If there were no media there would be no celebrities. We would not know about these people, it is a self perpetuating system. They need the media to get fame anfd fortune and then they are tormented and savaged but it. I had never heard of Heather until the divorce. I had vaguely heard that St Paul had married again, but as I mostly ignore media blather about celebs I was barely aware she existed.
Same for St Paul really, I love the Beatles output which is timeless but PM has not really doen anything much since Wings.
kipling, wakefield, Yorkshire
What a sad reflection on British life that "being wealthy" has become so desirable, not just for Lady Mills (to use her proper name) but for all young people who aspire to it. Money in itself does not bring happiness and in this day when luxuries abound, living well and being a good person should be even easier. In the words of Harold Macmillan, the British have never had it so good, yet "wealth" and its acquisition are goals touted rather than being successful as an individual. One can only sleep in one bed at a time and a humble lager is available to almost everyone - drinking it out of the bottle or fine crystal makes no difference to the taste or effect. Lady Mills and all others can live quite comfortably on far less than they think their due.
David Cunard, Los Angeles, USA
I fear the poor child will be the one to suffer most. Maca must get custerdy ASAP !
Tim Blair, Peterborough, UK, CAMB'S
Yes, her howling agony is painful to watch, not made any easier by knowing it is her own fault.
Her rejection by McCartney has totally devastated her and her almost insane lashing out in all directions is only making it worse.
She needs someone to tell her to shut up and get out of the public eye altogether. McCartney's silence is only infuriating her all the more.
The longer he doesn't respond, the angrier she gets.
I fear this is only going to get worse.
Brian Ripley, Lake Placid, USA