By Jeremy Clarkson
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As the population of China becomes more wealthy, demand for illegal tiger parts is booming. Up to 600m Chinese people believe that tiger bones, claws and even penises will cure any number of ailments, including arthritis and impotency. And as a result we’ve just been told, for about the hundredth time, that if nothing is done extinction looms.
Well, not complete extinction. Obviously tigers will continue to exist in Las Vegas for many years to come. And in Asia there are so many backstreet big cat farms that they outnumber cows. But they will cease to exist in the wild.
Right. And what are we supposed to do, exactly? Send an international force tooled up with the latest night-vision gear and helicopter gunships to hunt down and kill the poachers?
Really? And what are these mercenaries supposed to say to the locals? “Yes, I realise that you have no fresh water, no healthcare, little food and that your ox is broken, but we are not here to do anything about that. In fact we’re going to put an end to the only industry you have.”
Yes, say the conservationists, who argue that unless this is done now our children will grow up never being able to see a tiger in the wild. And that this is very sad.
Is it? I have never seen a duckbilled platypus in the wild or a rattlesnake. I’ve never seen any number of creatures that I know to exist. So why should I care if my children never see a tiger? In fact, come to think of it, if they’re on a gap year trekking through the jungles of Burma I fervently hope they don’t.
There’s an awful lot of sentimentality around the concept of extinction. We have a sense that when a species dies out we should all fall to our knees and spend some time wailing. But why? Apart from for a few impotent middle-class Chinamen, or if you want a nice rug, it makes not the slightest bit of difference if Johnny tiger dies out. It won’t upset our power supplies or heal the rift with Russia. It is as irrelevant as the death of a faraway star.
So far this century we’ve waved goodbye to the Pyrenean ibex – did you notice? – and the mouthful that is Miss Waldron’s red colobus monkey. Undoubtedly both extinctions were blamed on Shell, McDonald’s, the trade in illegal diamonds, Deutsche Bank or some other spurious shareholder-led attempt to turn all of the world into money and carbon dioxide.
But if we look back to a time before oil, steam and German bankers, we find that species were managing to die off all on their own. The brontosaurus, for example. And who honestly thinks it’s sad that their children will never get to see a tyrannosaurus rex in the wild?
In the 19th century 27 species went west, including the great auk, the thicktail chub, the quagga, the Cape lion and the Polish primitive horse. Apparently the Poles tried their hardest but it was no good. It was just too primitive.
Between 1900 and 1919 eco-mentalists ignore the fact that we lost most of the young men in Europe and prattle on about the passing of the passenger pigeon, the Carolina parakeet, and the Tasmanian wolf.
Honestly, who cares because there are quite literally millions more fish in the sea. Only last week we heard that scientists in the South American rainforest have found 24 previously unknown species including 12 dung beetles, a whole new ant, some fish and a rather fetching frog.
It may not be as cuddly as a baby tiger or as primitive as a Polish horse, but it is groovier since its purple fluorescent hoop markings appear to have been drawn by Steve Hillage himself.
So is the world rejoicing at the sensational news that we’ve been joined on earth by a hippie frog? Is it hell as like. What the world is doing instead is crying into its eco-handkerchief because of what’s going on in the Arctic.
We’re told that because of the Range Rover, HSBC and Prince Bandar all the ice at the North Pole is melting and that as a result the polar bear has nowhere to live. Apart that is for the 3m square miles of northern Canada that are completely untouched by any form of human encroachment.
Anyway, ignoring that, we are told that the polar bear is now at risk and as a result we’re all supposed to kill ourselves.
Why? Contrary to what you may have been led to believe by Steiff’s cute and squishy cuddly toys, the polar bear is a big savage brute; the colour of nicotine, with a mean ugly pointy face and claws that, if they were to be found in Nottingham on a Saturday night, would be confiscated as offensive weapons.
If the polar bear dies out it will make not a jot of difference to you or anyone you’ve ever met. The only people who’ll even notice are the Innuits, and its passing will actually improve their lives because they’ll be able to go out fishing and clubbing without running the risk of being eaten to death.
I do not believe that we should deliberately kill stuff because we find it ugly or offensive. Unless it’s a virus or a mosquito. But I do wish the world’s conservationists would learn a lesson from some of the more enlightened species in the animal kingdom: that when push comes to shove, the only creatures that really matter are those in our social group. And our children.

Jeremy Clarkson's career as car reviewer and BBC Top Gear presenter has made motoring into show business, but he has earned himself the description of an "equal opportunities loudmouth" for his opinionated commentary on all aspects of life, appearing weekly in The Sunday Times.
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its ridiculous that you would be so selfish as to say that we are the only people that matter on this earth. Plants and animals were here before you were and therefore we should try to keep them around because without them mankind may not even exist!!
May, Sacramento, US
I honesly believe that people should just leave nature the way it is. If people get thier own way all the time. It is unfair. The tigers and polar bears have done nothing to you so why kill them. Let nature be or there will be none.
sam, essex, england
there are too many people in the world. The reason people die all over the world is that we have colonised places that cannot support such vast numbers of individuals. The worlds population need to drop to around 1 billion for our species to stand any chance of long term survival. Tigers are not more important or less than humans, we are all equally ephemeral and meaningless. It is only because of our incredible brains and their ability to 'think' that we can appreciate that a tiger is an awesome creature, and that the world would be a poorer place if they were to become extinct. It wouldnt make any direct difference to our lives here in britain if they were to die out, but neither did the tsunami, hurricane katrina or various earthquakes. Humans are infinitely replaceable, and human life is in no way sacred.
lucho, manchester,
Come on. Show youe sense of humor.
I can bet even Jezza did not know what he was writing. Theonly reason he wrote the story is to amuse you and laughed into tears when he saw your replies.
BTW, Chinese people are no longer the fans of tiger bones. Be wise and do som homework before you say or write anything.
lee, BJ,
Well said Jeremy. Well said. Those environ-mentalists have busted my bills with their "save the blue fish" "save the shark" save this and save this other. They seem to ignore that because we eat beef there are now on this planet many more cows than there would be if we did not eat them. And a part that, I think we should eat more carnivores, it would be fair, why do we only eat the poor peaceful sheep, goats, chickens, salmon, tuna and cows? Let's eat lions, tigers, sharks and any other animal who eats other animals, at least I would not feel guilty as I do when I eat a little goat or a lamb....they are so cute.....and they would not devour me ....oh yeah, it is true, like Alessandro Manzoni said, in this world, if you don't want to be fiddled, you have to fiddle....it's true.....so I am in favour of eating all the carnivores on this planet......it's right.....it is so right....
GAETANO PELLEGRINI, Slough, England
Jeremy Clarkson's views are his own; educated and brilliantly written. All of you who are so offended are kindly invited not to read them - that's your choice. The fact remains, however, that he is also correct. Extinction has been happening since life began, and is a direct result of an animal not beng able to adapt to changing cirumstances; be it increased hunting or a changing environment. The global warming saga currently playing out on the world's stage is a politically motivated one. Pollution taxes and many other increased costs to the consumer are within the governments grasp. The appeal is to the middle class, who think its a fabulous idea, so long as it doesn't affect them. So I am going to go on living normally, leaving my tv on stand-by, not giving a damn about the tigers.
Rick, Preston,
In the last 3 Billion years the continents have moved, the Earh has been struck by several asteriods, there have been enormous volcanic explosions, the planet's temperature has been both very much hotter and very much colder than now. Through all that time life has survived, though nearly all the species that have lived on the Earth are now extinct.
The evolutionary biologist that truly understands evolution through natural selection will view the present episode of human-induced mass extinction with equanimity. In time new species will fill vacant niches - species better adapted to co-exist with man. Neither the rat nor the cockroach will be going extinct any time soon.
If, through our interference, we make the planet less hospitable to man and/or wipe out some of the large mammals and birds that we find interesting and that contribute to the enjoyment of our lives, so much the worse for man .... but it is more hubris to think we can wipe out all life on Earth
Tom, Chorley, England
I have to say i am quite surprised how jeremy's article has affected so many people. If u think about it in the long run this article is just one mans view and almost everyone is taking offence. how childish! Jeremy Clarkson is the God of motor jounalism! He writes epic colomns and isnt displaying typical brit behaviour by being so reserved about his opinions. Personally i feel that the tigers are beautiful creatures and that it would be a shame for them to disapear, however the hunters do not know any different and it is so firmly in their culture that it would be extremely hard for them to change their ways. Mr clarkson beautiful article. Please continue to write coloums like this one as it is so funny to see how the brits take such offence to your comments! oh and write more books they are a fantastic read for the airport!!
Kiara Maher, Newbury, Berkshire
Haydn
There is a difference between man created extinction and natural extinction. It is pointless arguing over this. Jeremy Clarkson is clearly talking on behalf of the Chinese lobby that wants resumption of trade in tiger skin and bones etc. Someone else from my country, clearly representing the same lobby, recently wrote in this same newspaper on why farm raising of tigers should be allowed etc etc.
There seems to be a link between these two articles. I am really really surprised that the so called educated West has so many people who have such stupid ideas on conservation and extinction. We need to protect the tiger not because it is a cute animal or because it has tourism potential or because it has animal right to live. We need it to remain in the wild so that we all can live a little longer on this planet.
Sudipto Roy, Calcutta, India
Well I have to say that I agree with you on this one.
It certainly isnt a big deal. And no, the ecosystem wont implode on itself from the extinction a few tigers or moths or lesser spotted cod. The planet has suffered much faster extinctions than the slow smoggy one we see these days. The planet has been has been ravaged by meteors and supervolcanoes for millions of years, whats a bit of gas and a few horny guys really going to do. I think we are more likely to sort our eco-friendlyness over time, with technology and rising above this little hiccup in our technological progression. Bring on the fusion!!!
Haydn Lillywhite, Loughton, Essex
Perhaps instead of trying to save species as they become severely endangered, the world's richest should be invited to an extinction dinner where the last remaining creatures go out with a bang as the main ingredients for a celebrity banquet.
Bob, Plymouth, Devon
Well done Jezza! If only as much hand-wringing was done over the thousands of children who die of dysentry and malaria every day. Our actions always prove what is important to us, and humans are low down the foodchain of many fundamentalist greenies.
Steve McAlpine, Sheffield, UK
Overall spot on, however to place this in a context appropriate to those of us who follow you writings, the Tiger is the equvalent of Concorde whereas the new discoveries seem to be more like variants on the 737.
Evolution certainly works both ways and the driver is survival, in our case... ours. But a thing of, albeit savage, beauty like the tiger should be mourned.
Alex, London, England
Hi Jeremy,
The problem with species going extinct is that their absence upsets the careful balance of their local ecosystem. For instance, in Jamaica, a lot of the coral reef has either destroyed, or severely damaged; not because of people damaging them directly, but rather, from overfishing removing the predatory and herbivorous species that kept coral-smothering algae at bay.
So to put it simply; local fish go extinct, only one species of sea urchin is left to eat the algae, they then get wiped out by a disease, then throw in a couple of hurricanes, and some pollution from the land, the algae population then explodes- because there's nothing left to eat it and thus keep it in check , this then kills all the reef, and, hey presto ! your stuck with the Bahamas as your no.1 Carribbean snorkelling destination . . . . .
Jellyhead, Fulchester, QLD
Yeah!
It makes perfect sense, but all the rest of us are too scared of the greenies to say so. Good on you Mr Clarkson for making these very valid points.
Cath, Palmerston North, New Zealand
This is a bit tiresome now isn't it?
It's been fairly amusing for a while now, but all spoof creations have a shelf life. Alan Partridge, Dame Edna, Ali G.... Don't get me wrong, the "Jeremy Clarkson" character has been inspired. Just spot on in satirising the blinkered buffoonery of the unthinking conservative. Very clever in giving articulacy to the embarrasing views of a sad uncle-figure that doesn't read or understand much outside of his own garage. But the joke's a bit thin now is'nt it? And some people even seem to be taking "Jeremy Clarkson" seriously!! Haha... a sure sign a joke's gone too far!
Time for the liberal comedy genius behind this character to unveil himself - and perhaps, I hope, come up with a new shtick??
PGJ, Athens,
Though I share Jeremy's sense of impotence, I suspect even he will a shed a tear when the last tiger dies alone in its forest lair. A thing of fearful beauty will have left the world.
Jeremy in Oz, Perth, Australia
That is something I have been wondering as well. I agree we should make some effort to prevent the mass extinction by the hands of man to a creature that is critical to the earth's balance of nature, but to go to such extremes as to turn a blind eye to all the other problems people are facing in many (most) parts of the world is ludicrous.
It simply falls back on the premise that EXTREMISM OF ANY KIND IS WRONG, whether ecological, theoligical, political or any other type of "al". Extremes never last, see Germany, 1942.
I love the way Jeremy hits things home.
Gus Chyba, Los Angeles, USA / California
the chinese are also putting so much pollution into the air that your children's childrens will never get to go outside, or drive a convertible car like you like so much...
Erez, jerusalem,
Sort of makes sense, doesn't it, but you don't really want to agree too loudly do you?
Aitch Pee, Chipping Norton,
i can't wait to see the replies to this... time to sit back with the popcorn and coffee.
matt, southampton, hampshire
You write well, sir. I also hope my daughter never sees a tiger in the wild. It's too dangerous. Strangely, in the long run, our survival depends on those 'tigers' actually living in the wild. We are a part of nature not apart from it and as the 'enlightened specie' it is our responsability to make sure the mosquitos still have someone to pest in the future.
Joao Almeida, Manama, Bahrain
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