what are you on about Shocker?

=|

Phil, Winchester,

At some point, Abu Hamza must have gone for the job of whatever it is he is, thus we must deduce there is some sort of "selection committee" and process, which raises quite a number of procedural questions:

1. Did he underake a psychometric test? (was failure a pre-condition of advancement to the next round?)
2. How did he get past the physical?
3. Did they ask him what he wanted to be in 5 years time?
4. Did they ask him what he believed his personal failings were? - that must be a tricky one.
5. Did they hypothesise a question such as "You have an employee who has openly displyed the traits of Christianity, level-headedness and moderation, depspite the company policy regarding unnacceptable behaviour - what is your response?"
6. Whats his package?

Shocker, Cambridge,

It's for the same reason that Bush beat John Kerry in the last US election: No matter how insane Bush had already proved himself to be, Kerry's chin was just too gosh darn big for him to be president.

But I think that aesthetic values will decide the victor in a far more important battle being played out at the moment. Blu-Ray will become standard, and HD DVD will become obsolete. Why? Simply because "Blu-Ray" is much, much easier to say.

Rob Taylor, London, UK

Brilliant!!! Nobody can beat this banter. Whereas I would like to point out to all the brilliant commentators that took this a little to serious. The above article is by all means ironic (althoug the point about freaconomics is certainly worth a consideration)

bernd bittinger, Berlin, Germany

Boring little cars of no interest to Jeremy or anyone else on this forum. Still, I`m going to ask anyway. What is the best performing 1.4 auto hatchback on the road, used that is. No older than 2004 and reliable with it.

I have £6,000 max to spend and despite what Jeremy might say, I`m not selling my house to get more cash. So there it is.

I have thought of the Ibiza, Astra and Fiesta allready. Any advice on this would be helpful.

Thanks, all you petrol heads.

Geoff, Earlswood, England

Oi ..Peter of Luton, wots wrong with Andy ... ? least i wasn't named after a rabbit !

andy, lyon, france

so right jeremy,you live in picturesque chipping norton and I live in hideous luton,yes names do matter,thats why names like rupert and peter will always be nicer than names like andy and the hideoues "matt"..why on earth someone would shorten their name deliberatley to something you wipe your feet on at the front door..jeremy clarkson we loves ya

peter, luton, bedfordshire

h, to be fair the song hillary is not a sign that the fall were moved in a good way. the hillary of that song was quite clearly a figure of hate.

jem, london, uk

Mr Jeremy, you have nine photos of yourself on your main web page. I could understand if you were modelling different outfits (tight blue jeans and shirt, tighter blue jeans and t-shirt, perhaps lingerie and swimwear), but they're all just head shots, black and white at that.
Just kidding bout the swimwear, please don't.

benny, Sydney, Australia

One of your better articles jumbo Clarkson

robert, liverpool,

Brilliant, JC...brilliant. Wish you'd have commented on the name "Bush" for a leader (was it too obvious?)

Allison, London, UK

Jeremy is 100% right about looks and names - just take our archbishop who looks like a morris dancer out on day release from the local loony bin and who is also named after a tree.

Mikko Takala, Drumnadrochit, Scotland

"But I’m never asked for his autograph"?

I admire Jeremy for many things, and hardly have anything that I disagree with him. We even like the some cars and music.
So when you find someone you regard so highly make a grammatical mistake, is like finding a needle in a haystack. It's like finding a needle in a sunken ship in the middle of the ocean floor. It's like finding a needle in haystack in the middle of the ocean floor inside Atlantis! Well you know what I mean...

M, Kingston, Surrey

Two words, Abraham Lincoln.

Charles, Waterville, Maine, USA

In "Freakonomics" by Levitt and Dubner there are several tables of data that show poor choices of name can seriously harm a child's chances in life. Unrotunately it would be politically incorrect here to say what sector of society makes the worst choices of names.

George Edwards, Rawcliffe, UK East Riding

i think the bishop should go he can not be the leader of the church if he think islam law are better than christian

william masih, birmingham, u.k

Your arguement serves to strengthen the arguement that you should be PM, Jeremy. With your intellect, wit and gorgeousness (which makes me want a picture of you on my thong, never mind the T-shirt) we'd be top of the tree in no time.

Yum!

JezzaBelle, Somerset, ENGLAND

Jeremy, how could you forget 'Jessica' ?

Andrew, London,

Hillary is a magical song by 'The Fall' but we know Mr Clarkson's musical predilections would guide him away from such genius.

H, London,

I've often felt my life would have had a different outcome if I'd been born "Rocco Valentino" or "Clay Regazzoni".

Roger Darce, London, UK

The problem is that Mugabe and Kim Jong-il will also destroy their nations before they are sunk.

Hamad Lone, London, England

Hey Jeremy
Dean Friedman wrote and sang the immortal "Hey Hey Hillary".

"I met my love Hillary at the local distillery.
She was leaning so languidly, on the window sillery.
And I was glued to my seat as I gazed at her feet.
Hey, Hey, Hillary. Hey, Hey, Hillary."

Magical stuff I think you'll agree and quite negates your argument.

Steve, London, UK