I have just turned a teenager and when listening to the radio a few weeks back I heard of how they were planing to make us swearalliegence to the Queen I went mad. In school we had a discussion about the Queen as we were supposed to write a letter to the Quen to say what wew would like changed I suggested banning bendy buses, the congestion charge, and banning Ken Livingston,(perhaps borris as well unles he stops high emissions tax!).In the end we all said the same things "what does the Queen actualy do apart from attracting tourist and giving a speech at chrismas?". My guess is most kids in secondry schools would just say "Oh my days, why should I swera to the Queen!!". Nowdays most kids don't care for the Queen or politics wich is slightly worrying!Half the students in my class don't even know who runs the country, but I do, lets make Jeremy run England, so we can use nuclear power and drive gas guslers and swear to HP sauce. Heres to HP sauce and Jeremy Clarkson!Hip, HIP.. HOORAY

JOHN, London,

er....just because the americans have bbq sauce that is brown, doesnt mean it is actually 'brown' as in HP sauce...that's a one off, british delicacy...GO BRITAIN...the one and only!

carly - brit in the us and hating it, washington,

Dear Jean Paul, although we still enjoy HP sauce in Malta, I wouldn't say it's "better than any American BBQ liquid"- haven't you tried Hunt's BBQ sauce?

Why not an allegiance to the English language itself?

Oh wait, that's already gone to the dogs.

David Schembri, Zurrieq, Malta

the bristish have their mint sauce, difficult to find in any other country (hopefully)

remy, liverpool,

In Malta we still enjoy HP sauce (must be a remnant of our colonial past) and it's much better than any American BBQ liquid.

Jean Paul, Malta,

Sadly HP sauce is now made in Holland, not Birmingham.

khanie, Cork, Ireland

Why not have a pledge of allegiance to Queen Victoria? She's very traditional. A footnote on HP sauce could be added for those who were properly addicted.

Peter, Bangkok, Thailand

In Americuh, we have brawn sozz as well: iss called bbq sauce, suh.

Harald, Portland, OR

James - You're glad you left the UK 20 years ago....to go and live in China???!

Nick, Guildford, UK

I am so bloody glad I left the UK 20 years ago!

James, Zhuhai, China

Pledging an Oath in a land without a Constitution? One might as well sign a blank cheque for one's total assets -- in the Republique du Chad.

Dazza, Hockerill, Herts

Actually in Japan they have brown sauce. It's called Tonkatsu sauce. Quite good...

Zeke, Rotterdam,

It is not liberty and burgers for all Jeremy. It is liberty and cheeseburgers for all.

Dale, Boulder, CO, USA

Hey, we got HP brown sauce in Mexico too!

Mind you, it costs a lot and it stays mostly abandoned on high-priced supermarkets, but that counts, right?

Love the columns, by the way, keep them coming, Mr. Clarkson!

Samuel Valdes, Mexico, Mexico

"I swear by God and the queen/king to struggle to uphold the right of the upper classes to hunt, shoot and fish as many of our four-footed, feathered or finned members of our wildlife as they so shall choose."

Venise Alstergren, Melbourne 3142, AUSTRALIA

As an Irishman (southern tribe !), I view the English as being generally civilised, friendly in a reserved way and very tolerant. I do not care for "New Labour" but then, I do not see them as representative of British people as a whole. Britain to me is not drunken soccer hooligans but rather the music of the Beatles (timeless), the humour of Monty Python or Faulty Towers (very funny) and the bulldog spirit in adversity (resilient). Yes, that's it, Britain is timeless, funny and resilient - it will be there long after bullshit oaths !

John Mallon, Cork,, Ireland

HP sauce used to be quite spicy and tasty. Today its so stuffed with sugar its taste is diminished and sweet. More spice to life needed!

Paul Davis, York, uk

Does anyone really see us as a nation of oath takers.

Surely Thomas More's experiences under Henry VIII must teach us something about this sort of tosh.

You could just about imagine an oath to serve Elizabeth II, but Charles III, I wouldn't stop laughing and would keep thinking about him chatting to flowers.

David, Dubai & PL2, UAE & England

I pledge allegiance to Jeremy Clarkson and Geoff from Bromsgrove...

Epimethean, Reigate,

Jeremy has summarised pithily reasons why the 'oath' was dropped within 1 hour of being suggested-and he never even got to how the Scots/Irish and Welsh (some of the most rabidly racist mainland Britons about) would baulk. Unfortunately Britain today is run by multicultural marxists who hate everything that makes Britain- a Christian vicar was beaten up by Asian thugs in front of his own church this morning -the immediate response from the 'authorities' was denial it was a hate crime, that the attackers were just thugs - despite them yelling that the church should be a mosque! I'm a white Christian Englishwoman of French, Jewish, Scots, Irish and Welsh (yes, I have as much right to be there as you lot) descent, and I've long since been a victim of bigotry in my own country - like last week when my GP admitted I'd only get the NHS surgery I need if I were a lesbian/benefit-scrounger/muslim/illegal immigrant/chain-smoking/obese/binge-drinker but a White British taxpayer? Dream on, girl

Ysabel, Nottingham, England

Frankly I gave up on all this nonsense years ago.

I am English. Real English, not someone whose parents were born in Lahore.

I mix with my own kind - meaning Northern Europeans - celebrate my own culture and history with no sense of shame and have no desire to slaughter goats or stone adulteres.

I avoid no-go areas. I support nothing that this vile government does.

If the rest of us just turned our backs on all this multi-culti nonsense and refused to comply with their stupid laws and brainwashing it would fade out in a year.

Geoff , Bromsgrove, England

Rather than getting children to take an oath why dont we have one for the polititians...

"I swear allegiance to the men and women I have sent to war,
I will enusure the are properly equiped and paid and that their families do not live in derelict houses while they are away.
I pledge that when they return they will be cared for properly, their injuries, mental or physical, will be treated with the priority and dignity they have earned."

Just as much chance of this being adopted as the one for kids, and just as much chance of it making any difference.

Mike, Plymouth,

JC may define himself by all the people & things he hates --but their are millions & millions of Britons who don't.

Frank Talk, callington, cornwall

I agree with your argument, Jeremy. On the one hand, the government encourages diversity and on the other it enforces unity upon us - which side are we meant to fall on?

Richard Scotney, Cottingham, East Yorkshire